I'm Gonna Bite You!
by ahemyywe150
Summary: Edward and Bella have known each other since they were little. Before freshman year of higschool, Edward moves away. Two years later, Bella moves too, and finds Edward at the same school she is going to. Can you say clashing? I can.
1. Childhood, I'm Leaving You

My tiny fist slammed right into the boy's jaw, causing him to tumble backwards into the dirt

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Copyright infringement not intended. Please don't eat me. **

My tiny fist slammed right into the boy's jaw, causing him to tumble backwards into the dirt. Dust clouds puffed out around him as he landed with a thud. His lip started to bleed and tears were welling up in his eyes.

I'm Bella Swan, and that was me when I was ten years old.

"What'd you call me!?" I screeched angrily. The ten year old boy didn't answer; he just shook his head and held his jaw in his trembling hands.

Yeah, I didn't take any crap from anyone, even back then.

"Stop crying like a baby, you toad-sucking poophead!" I said as I grabbed his collar with both my hands and pulled him off the ground.

Poophead. Ha! Wasn't I just so good at insults?

"Hey!" a voice called out. I looked over the boy's shoulder to find Edward Masen jogging over. He was wearing a bright blue polo and khaki shorts. I glared at him. He was always the one to be the hero and come to the rescue. Of course, I was always the trouble maker in the situations no matter who started it.

"What are you doing!?" Edward exclaimed, prying my hands off the boy's collar.

"Get offa me!" I snarled as I snatched my hands away from his, "Ask your buddy. Go on, pal, tell 'im what you called me."

The boy was still crying, but shook his head violently. I rolled my eyes and Edward glared at me.

Edward Cullen was the role model in our grade. Goody two shoes that I despised, but the teachers and parents loved. He always seemed to catch me beating up some kid…

"Bella! He's crying!" Edward said as he put his arm over the boy's shoulder.

"Pft. He wasn't crying when he called me wussy who plays with dolls," I said icily as I glowered at the boy, "Not so brave anymore, huh?"

"Bella, stop," Edward said sternly.

"You gonna make me, Masen?" I said as I crossed my arms, using his last name icily.

I hated his perfect little, rich boy guts.

"What's goin' on?" a voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Jimmy behind me and already glaring at Edward. Jimmy was my cousin, but moved in to live with my family when his parents died in a house fire. My family took him in, and he was always treated like my brother. I mean, he basically was. I always hung around with him and his best friends, Crusty and Travis. Crusty and Travis came jogging up behind Jimmy and stood right behind me. They looked just as ratty and dirty as me, and also didn't take crap from anyone. Especially anyone like Edward Cullen.

"The boy called me a wuss," I said the same time Edward said, "She punched Billy."

Crusty exchanged a look with Jimmy as Travis glared at the crying boy.

"So what's the problem?" Jimmy said coolly as he crossed his arms.

"Billy's crying and bleeding," Edward sighed as he gestured to the crying boy, "Can't you at least take him to his mom?"

"Why don't you?" I snapped, "You're the little hero."

"Well you're the only girl out here playing with boys," Edward snarled back, "Don't you know you're going to be made fun of?"

I lunged at Edward, but Travis and Jimmy caught me by my shoulders.

My mother never bought me pants, so it's really not my fault that I stuck out in the playground. I was running around the park in a ratty pink dress with multicolored flowers. I wore dirty tube socks that went up past my ankles and Jimmy's old, dark blue Converses.

"Edward's just gonna tattle on us if we beat him up, Bella," Jimmy explained.

"He's gonna tattle on us anyway 'cuz he's a holy priest," I snapped as I shook my shoulders free.

"At least I'm not in a dress," Edward muttered as he rolled his eyes.

The next thing I knew, my foot was ramming into Edward's stomach. Billy started crying again and ran away. Edward fell to the ground and I jumped on him, sitting on his stomach and throwing hard punches into him.

There was shouting as my friends to get me off him. Edward covered his head with his arm. Then, suddenly, he pushed my shoulders so that he was kneeling over me. He was pinning my shoulders down with his hands and panting heavily.

"Get OFF me," I shouted as I squirmed beneath him.

Then I brought my leg up between his legs, hitting him right where it hurts. He howled and fell to the ground. I scrambled out from under him as he writhed on the ground.

"Bella! Run! His mom is coming!" Jimmy shouted. He, Crusty, and Travis all set out running, and I followed quickly. I heard his mother shouting something at us, but we kept running. We finally got to our favorite tree in the park, where we all climbed the branches so that we were hidden by its leaves.

Crusty was laughing from up at his branch.

"That was a nice hit, Bella," he said as he laughed. I grinned at him.

Then, once I got home, all hell broke loose from my parents.

"Bella, how many times do we gotta tell you that violence gets you nowhere?!" my mother wailed as Jimmy and I sat as prisoners on our living room couch.

We were silent as we looked down at the floor and not at our pacing parents.

"And Jimmy! We trusted you to watch her when you took her to the park with you," my dad shouted, his face turning purple, "Why'd you let her hit that boy!?"

"_Boys_," my mother corrected, angrily glaring at us, "There were two."

Jimmy was trying to hold back a smile, and this of course made me want to smile too. I knew he was proud of me. Jimmy was my best friend and we stuck together through everything.

The next day, my mom made me go give apology letters to both boys. After I had biked over to Billy's house to stuff a letter in his mailbox, I stomped angrily back to my bike. I mounted it and began biking to Edward's house. I was so wrapped up in my fury that I almost ran into him on _his_ bike.

I braked suddenly, glaring at Edward. He looked at me cautiously.

"I'm not here to beat you up again, Edward," I snarled. Edward rolled his eyes.

"You were on the way to my house?" he asked. His eyes saw the piece of paper in the basket on my handlebars.

"Why?" he asked. I kept my eyes glued on my handlebars, refusing to look at his stupid, smug face.

"You have an apology letter or something?" he said, amusement flying in his tone. I felt the fury getting the better of me. With one quick movement, I snatched up the paper. Edward opened his mouth to say something, but I stuffed the paper in his mouth quickly.

Edward's eyes were wide as I swiveled my bike around and quickly rode off in the other direction.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

By the time I was fourteen, I had outgrown the violence. Crusty, Travis, Jimmy, and I were getting ready to tough out high school that summer. My mother finally accepted the fact that I didn't like wearing flower-y dresses too often, much to her dismay. And I was also finally able to buy pants.

Jimmy's undying hatred of Edward Masen never left, however. Something had happened somewhere in seventh grade where they got into a big fight, and have been picking fights with each other ever since. I never went out picking fights, no matter how spiteful I was as a teenager. If someone started something that made me furious, then I'd fire at them. Then there was the exception of Edward. He made me so _angry_ when he pranced around with girls on his arm. But I didn't go fighting him, because all I wanted was to stay the hell away from him. Summer of 6th grade, hormones hit our entire grade and all the girls suddenly were crazy for Edward. I basically ignored him that whole year, because I knew if he was to step anywhere _near_ me I'd throw a hissy fit. And I didn't want to waste my energy on that pretty-boy.

"What're we gonna do today?" Crusty asked groggily as he fiddled with a piece of grass. There was only a week before summer was over. My buddies and I were laying in the grass in Travis' front yard. Crusty was sitting up, Travis flat on his back with his hands spread out, Jimmy was sitting up and chewing a long piece of grass, while I was lying in the grass with my hands behind my head.

"I'm outta ideas," I said lazily, not even bothering to open my eyes, "And I'm kinda set on just laying out here for the rest of the day."

"Mmm," Travis said. In Travis-speak, this means: Hells yeah, that's a good idea.

"This grass tastes like crap," Jimmy said bluntly. I didn't hear anything being spit out, so I assumed he was still chewing it.

We all laughed and then drew into comfortable silence again. My friends and I hung out together a lot. I heard the girls in my school calling it a 'gang' because a 'clique' just was too girly to place on us. Pft. I could really care less. I had a circle of friends that I was happy with. But those girls were all wrapped up in their lies and rumors.

But we did draw some kind of attention. I mean, I'd tell you exactly drew attention to us, but I don't even know. I always thought it had to do with that week Crusty dyed his hair all the colors of the rainbow…

Two days past, and we wound up in Crusty's basement, playing in our band. We weren't trying to make it big or anything, but being in a band just was a hell of a lot of fun. Plus, we didn't consider ourselves that good anyway.

Mind you, we aren't you're average, teenage, rock band. We don't have any piercings, except for my ears. No tattoos, no creepy make up, no guns, no knives. Seriously, we didn't even dress _that_ differently than everyone else in our grade.

I was jumped out of my thoughts by hearing Crusty fooling around with my microphone. Yeah, I was the singer. Crusty was the drummer, Travis the lead guitarist, and Jimmy the bassist.

"Crusty!" I snarled, "Get your grubby paws off that!"

Crusty pouted and stepped away. I got up from my crouched position at our mini fridge and pulled out a water bottle.

"Really," I sighed, "I leave one second to get something to drink and you start messin around!"

Crusty grinned at me and Travis laughed. Jimmy came back in from the door, waving around his favorite guitar pick.

"Did you really need _that_ one?" Crusty said, rolling his eyes.

"Did you really need that one," Jimmy mocked in a high pitched, nasal-y voice, "Yes, Crusty, I did. Now we can get started."

We mostly like playing covers to songs, nothing really special. Sometimes we wrote songs, but they're not special either.

But when I hear Crusty start drumming, Travis strumming the opening notes, and Jimmy begin playing the melody, I don't know what happens. Things always seem unreal after that. Some things you just can't explain, and I'm pretty sure you know how that goes.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

At dinner that night, my parents were gossiping heavily as Jimmy and I were picking at our casserole. I was sending him gagging looks behind my mom's back. She was talking as if she didn't need to breathe at all, and my father was obediently listening. And Jimmy was trying not to burst out in laughter at my ridiculous faces.

"And so Elizabeth thinks they're going to move," my mom rambled, "Edward Sr. apparently got a job there, but they're still deciding on whether or not moving is the best idea."

Jimmy nudged me under the table and I glanced up at him. He raised his eyebrows, a smile tugging on the corners of his lips. I nodded in recognition. Edward Masen was going to move, and Jimmy was probably going to be the happiest person alive.

"They're probably going to leave by the end of the summer, though," my mom continued with a sad look, "I'm really going to miss Elizabeth's company, though."

Those endless gossip sessions and fawning over Jane Austen novels on Saturdays is what she was really going to miss. I could see it happening right this second. She was already resorting to my dad for gossip sessions. At least it wasn't me she was resorting to.

Finally, dinner was over and Jimmy and I ran up to our rooms. Of course, he followed me into mine and I closed the door.

"Edward's going to be gone! Out of our lives!" Jimmy shouted, throwing his hands up joyfully. He ran up to my bed and began bouncing up and down.

"That stupid, suck up, fagot is leaving!" Jimmy said. I ran over to him and shoved him off my bed. He laughed and picked himself off the ground.

"Watch your language, moron," I hissed, "Our walls aren't _sound proof_, idiot!"

"I could care less," Jimmy snorted, "I want to scream it out of the _fucking_ window."

He walked to my window, but I snatched the back of his collar and pulled him back.

"Don't be such a drama queen," I laughed, "Let's just call Crusty and Travis first."

"You think they'd hear me if I shouted it out the window?" Jimmy said with a smirk, jabbing his thumb towards the window. I rolled my eyes and gave his shoulder a playful shove.

"Aw, c'mon, Bells," Jimmy chuckled, "You're happy too, right?"

"Of course I am," I snapped, "But do our parents really need to know about our secret enemies?"

"It's not too secret," Jimmy mumbled.

I laughed in agreement. Psh…How could I not be happy that Edward Masen was leaving?

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

That next afternoon, I was riding my bike to the little ice cream shop. I parked my bike and skipped over to order myself a chocolate peanut butter ice cream cone. After I got my cone, I began to walk back to my bike, with one hand stuffed in my midnight blue hoodie. That's when I looked up and saw Edward sitting at one of the picnic tables. He actually looked pretty pitiful sitting there all by himself. He looked up at me, but my eyes narrowed. I began to walk away as if I hadn't noticed him sitting there.

"Bella?"

Too late. His voice stopped me in my tracks and I turned to him.

"What?" I said, a little harsher than I meant it to be. What could I do? Edward brought out the worst in me. He always has.

His eyes narrowed, but curiosity sprung in them as he eyed my cone.

"That chocolate peanut butter?" he asked.

"It is," I said nonchalantly, "What's it to ya?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, "We have the same taste." He waved his half eaten ice cream cone around to prove it to me.

"What do you want, Masen?" I hissed.

"Just a little company is all," Edward said with a sly grin, "Is that so bad?"

"Pft," I snorted, "I'm not giving you the kind of 'girl' company you want, buddy."

"Why would you assume I wanted that," Edward hissed through his teeth, his smile wiped away. I rolled my eyes.

"Why would I assume you _didn't_," I quipped. I licked my ice cream and began to walk away again. He was making me angry, and I had no energy at that moment to be angry.

"God, Bella," Edward shouted, exasperation in his tone, "Why do you hate me?"

"Oh please, like you really care how I feel about you."

"I don't," Edward snarled quickly, "I'm just _curious_ as to why you do feel that way about me. Isn't everyone?"

"Everyone is curious about why I hate them?" I said with doubt.

"No, but everyone's curious about you. You intrigue them, scare the crap out of them, or make them jealous."

"Yeah, sure," I hissed. Edward was standing up now, but the menacing look lost its effect due to the ice cream cone in his hand. Though I'm sure he could throw it at me if he wanted to…but he was too much of a goody goody.

"And which of those emotions do _you_ feel, huh?" I snarled. Edward didn't answer, but he winced for a moment.

"Whatever," I brushed off, "I'll see you around, Masen."

I made to walk away, but Edward was suddenly in front of me, blocking my path. His expression was softer this time.

"I'm leaving, you know," he said with a little uncertainty, as if he didn't know how I would react.

"Yeah? And I would be to if you weren't blocking my way," I said, even though I knew what he meant.

"For good, Bella," he said, rolling his eyes.

"And?"

"And I thought I'd tell you," he grumbled, "You know, so you can start organizing a party."

For once I was relatively speechless. Relatively, because I had a lot of cruel come backs I could make, but something about Edward's posture and face told me not to make them. He looked so…vulnerable, as if he really was afraid of me. Which, considering my past behavior towards him, wasn't a completely crazy idea.

"Well…uh…when are you going, exactly?" I said a little awkwardly, trying to make the transition from furious to indifferent without making it too uncomfortable.

"Tomorrow," he mumbled, looking at his feet. I guess he was trying to do the same thing.

"That sounds like so much fun," I said sarcastically. Edward laughed grimly and nodded.

"Um…well I uh…I gotta go," I said, shifting my feet slightly. I had to get out. I was bordering on _actually_ feeling bad for Edward, and that was dangerous territory. Anything other than hate was dangerous territory. Ironic, no?

"Then I guess this is goodbye," Edward said, straightening up.

"Have fun then," I said, struggling not to sound too harsh, "You'd be a lot happier out of a hick town like Forks, anyway."

Edward gave me a genuine smile, and I felt uneasy. What the hell was I still doing there?

"You won't be easy to forget, Bella Swan," Edward grumbled, shaking his head.

"You can try," I shrugged, "But from the amount of bruises and scars I've left on you from beating you up, I don't think you will."

Edward laughed, but then his expression became harsher, as if he was trying to be strong or something. I wanted to tell him not to blow a gas git, because he looked so stiff, but for some mysterious reason, I didn't.

"Goodbye, then," I coughed. I basically ran towards my bike, but not quick enough to hear Edward tell me goodbye. And here I was, thinking it would sound so sweet. I felt strange. Not sad, exactly, but not what I had been expecting to feel.

I pedaled with one hand on my handlebars, eating the ice cream quickly as I rode home.

And that was the last time I had seen Edward Masen since then.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

And now I'm 16. Have I changed much? Not exactly. I like to think that I'm wiser and well informed about the world around me. And I'm probably less of the brooding teenager. I can't really explain to you how I feel about myself, though, considering that I don't even know. It's so much easier to just put up my old, hard core, take-no-shit attitude then to actually formulate a new, nicer attitude. Because then people start asking questions, and boy do I hate it when they start asking questions.

So, there was that. And there was the fact that I cared a lot more about school. For example, I've been getting pretty good grades lately. My friends didn't shun me for it or anything, they just saw it as me maturing. Jimmy's been doing better too. It's friends like these, who like you for whoever you are, that people want all the time, huh? Guess I'm pretty lucky.

It was the summer time again, and I was going into that dreaded junior year. Colleges soon. I shudder at the thought.

I woke up that day around noon. After showering, I bounded downstairs for "breakfast". I skipped into the kitchen, wearing some plaid boxers and a grey t-shirt, because I didn't feel like dressing up to go into my own kitchen. Who really cared, I mean, I was probably spending the day as a vegetable on my couch anyway.

I came in, and noticed that Crusty was sitting on my kitchen counter, Travis was in the stool _I_ always sat in, and Jimmy had his head buried in the refrigerator.

"Hey!" I said, glaring at Travis, "Get outta my seat!"

Travis raised his eyebrow at me, clearly not intimidated and Jimmy laughed. He pulled his head out of the refrigerator, holding a carton of milk.

"Morning to you too, Bella," Jimmy snorted. He grabbed a box of cheerios from the cabinet. Reaching his hand in, he grabbed a handful of cereal and shoved it in his mouth. Lifting the carton, he guzzled milk down his throat, slamming the carton back down on the table with a satisfied smile.

"Gross, Jimmy," I said, scrunching up my nose, "I was going to use that carton."

"Not anymore!" Crusty laughed. I glowered at Jimmy and opened the refrigerator door. I found a box of Chinese take-out from who knows how long ago, and pulled it out. After finding a fork, I hopped into the stool next to Travis and dug into my delicious breakfast.

"What do we have planned for this wonderful summer day before we go back to school as juniors?" I sighed melodramatically. Travis rolled his eyes and Crusty looked up at the ceiling, pondering.

"We could…." Crusty began, eyes still on the ceiling, "Dig for China again in your backyard!"

"Crusty," Jimmy laughed, shaking his head, "We were 12 the last time we did that. And we only got so far before my dad shooed you guys off and grounded Bella and I for 'ruining his perfect yard'."

Crusty winced while Travis and I laughed. Crusty eyes lit up again with an idea.

"Okay, nevermind I asked," I interrupted, "I'm actually going to just sit on the couch all day. I was just wondering if any of you had a better idea."

"I was about to say something!" Crusty stated importantly.

"Yeah, well, we don't wanna hear it," Jimmy said with a smirk. Travis sniggered.

Crusty slumped his shoulders, his face falling. I patted his shoulder affectionately, and laughed as I took another bite of my Chinese take-out breakfast.

"Well," Crusty sniffed, "Fine. I have to go clean out my room, anyway. My mom's been badgering me to do it since last week."

"Don't you usually wait a month before listening to her?" I asked, struggling not to smile. Crusty rolled his eyes.

"Oh ha ha," he said sarcastically, "No, but seriously, if we aren't doing anything terribly exciting, I'm just going to go clean my room while I have the chance."

"Sounds cool," I sighed. We weren't really that jarred or upset if our friends abandoned us to family-related or home-related things. It made us feel like hanging out wasn't a duty, but more like a fun thing to do. The only that ticked us off is if friends "stood us up". Like, changing plans without telling us first. That and backstabbing. Because I don't know anyone who accepts backstabbing.

"Travis?" I asked. Travis looked up at me.

"You guys don't have good videogames," he stated plainly. I grinned at him. It was just going to be me and Jimmy today.

Crusty and Travis got up. Jimmy pushed off the counter he was leaning on and walked over to them, patting them on the back.

"See you later, guys," he said.

"Buh bye," I said, waving, "Have fun without us!"

Travis and Crusty laughed as they walked out the door. Jimmy sighed and walked over to the couch in front of the TV, collapsing on the whole thing. I threw the empty take-out box in the trash and marched over to him.

"It was my idea to watch TV today," I said, "Move your feet or I'm going to hurt you."

"Fine!" Jimmy groaned, moving his legs so I could sit, "All you had to do was ask!"

"Didn't I?" I challenged.

"No, you threatened. Last I checked, there was a difference."

"Mmhmm," I brushed off, "As long as I get what I want, does it really matter?"

I reached for the remote, turning on the TV and then settling back in the couch.

"It matters if you care for the feelings of the person you're talking too!"

"Which I don't…"

"Which is why you don't have a boyfriend…"

I picked up a pillow on the couch and smashed it against Jimmy, who laughed.

"You don't have a girlfriend, pal, so I'd shove off if I was you!"

Jimmy laughed again, as if to wave away my comment. We drew into comfortable silence as we watched the TV. After a couple of hours of this, my brain was starting too feel fuzzy around the edges. Jimmy looked practically dead with his arms draped around the couch limply.

Then, my mom burst through our front door, storming into the kitchen angrily with my dad following right behind, an exasperated look on his face.

"Renee!" he whimpered, "It's not my fault, dear! I can't just get a different job!"

My mom sniffed, ignoring him and going into the refrigerator. I shared a worried glance with Jimmy. Mom came back out with a bottle of orange soda…which was mine, but I didn't really think it was a good idea to tell her that at that moment…

"What if I don't _want_ to move, Charlie? Did you ever think about your family? For once, damnit, can you think about your family!?"

At this, I hopped up, Jimmy right behind me.

"Sorry, what?" I said, walking towards my parents, "Moving? Please tell me I heard that wrong."

"Go on, Charlie," my mom hissed, "Tell your daughter your wonderful news!"

Dad bowed his head and opened and closed his mouth, as if deciding how to put it in a way that wouldn't have us exploding.

"We're…moving," my dad sighed, "My company, you see, wants me to transfer to Maine."

"MAINE!?" Jimmy and I shouted at the same time.

"Kids, can we please be reasonable? It's my job we're talking about. The job that supports this family."

"Hey, how 'bout you get a new job then?" I offered. My dad glared at me and Jimmy let out a frustrated noise.

"Maine!? Why the hell Maine!? It's so far from Forks!" Jimmy kept repeating behind me in a slightly lower voice.

I was still in shock. I couldn't believe I was leaving. In fact, I was too stubborn to believe it, and simply wouldn't.

"Renee, sweetheart, please," my dad pleaded, "Talk to them?"

My mom sighed, looking out the window. I waited for her to call my dad out again. Then I saw acceptance dawn across my mom's face, and I knew that was not the emotion I was looking for. Or hoping for, for that matter.

"There is," my mom began, "One good thing coming out of this."

"Please, do enlighten us," I said sarcastically.

"You two will be going to one of the best boarding schools in the nation," my mom said, ignoring my sarcasm, "It's a beautiful little school called Burnswick Academy, and it's very prestigious and-"

"Boarding school!?" I said disbelievingly, "You two have got to be-"

"BOARDING SCHOOL!?" Jimmy roared, apparently just understanding.

"Can we all calm down, please," my dad groaned, "This was not the way I wanted this to be delivered."

"Well, I'm sorry we aren't to pleased about dressing going to frickin boarding school in a place SO FAR AWAY FROM FORKS!" I hissed. My dad's eyes narrowed.

"It is not my fault that the best school in the state happens to be a boarding school. We always want the best for you children, and this might be a great opportunity for you two. You'll make new friends and get used to it there. That is all we are saying on the matter. End of discussion," my dad said, tight lipped and rushed.

I glared, my fists clenching angrily. I was _not_ going to move. I was already planning to avoid it by chaining myself to the house. Jimmy would help me, I knew it, because his look of anger was mirroring mine.

"You two are out of your fucking minds," I snarled before running up the stairs into my room. I briefly heard my parents gasp at my dirty mouth, but didn't care. I heard Jimmy following me, but I ran straight into my room, throwing myself on my bed. Jimmy stomped in behind me.

I buried my face in my pillow, fighting the urge to cry. I heard Jimmy punch the wall and mutter every profanity imaginable.

"What're we gonna do, Bella?" Jimmy moaned. I turned onto my back, clutching my head, which was actually throbbing with agony. Jimmy was slumped against my wall on the floor, his legs crossed and his fists clenched.

"Chain ourselves to the house? Run away? Live in Crusty or Travis' basement?" I rambled halfheartedly, "The options are endless. Just none of them work…"

"Can't we try? I don't want to go to Maine. Bella, I _REALLY_ don't want to go to Maine."

"Well, I guess it's not that much different than Forks…but it's just…I don't want change. I like the life I have here."

"Me too," Jimmy grumbled.

There was silence where I thought about all the good things about my life, thus making me more depressed.

"Damnit," Jimmy hissed, "What're we gonna tell Crusty and Travis?"

"I was thinking we beg them to come with us."

"They would."

"I know."

"We shouldn't…"

"It's selfish," I sighed. And we knew that if we did enough begging, Crusty and Travis would actually come with us. No joke. They would make it happen. Which is exactly why we shouldn't. We didn't want to pull them away from anything just because of us.

"This _sucks_," Jimmy said.

"I couldn't agree more, pal," I groaned, "Couldn't agree more…"

There was another brief silence.

"And why the hell is it called, 'Burnswick'?!"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**Ahhh! Okay, so that's the first chapter of my new story! How'd you like it? I'm not abandoning my other ones, I swear! But this one was pretty fun to write. Next chapter the Swans will go to Maine and their new school! And guess who's there at school with them?**

**Also, I apologize to those of you who live in Maine. Personally, I really love Maine. Bella and Jimmy don't really know what they're talking about, because they just don't want to change homes. Sorry if I made Maine seem stupid because it's not!**

**And, this story is Bella/Edward, but Bella is just confused about how she feels about Edward, and the confusion will remain until Edward…**_**clears it up**_**.**

**Haha! Okay, so review because I love hearing your thoughts/suggestions. **


	2. Someone Smite Me

"Jimmy, I'm going to kill someone

**Disclaimer: Cue exasperated sigh and disappointed shaking of head. No, Twilight is not mine. **

**A/N: Erm….I don't have much to say. Longer author's note at bottom.**

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Jimmy, I'm going to kill someone."

There were trees rolling by my window, but they looked really cold. No, not comfortably warm. They were definitely freezing their butts off. I almost felt bad for them, but not as much as for me. I was the one trapped in the car, riding to my Hell Home (the new nickname Jimmy and I had made for it).

My arms were crossed over my chest, and I was boiling with anger. Jimmy was even further down in his seat and his expression was deadly.

"I'll help you bury the body," Jimmy muttered. I heard my parents scoff, but I ignored them. I gazed out again at the window.

The goodbyes with Crusty and Travis had been heartbreaking. The boys I had known forever. They were my best friends, and losing them was like losing my legs.

"Now our band is broken up," Crusty had muttered sadly after I had hugged him goodbye. I felt tears welling up in my dry eyes as I reached over to hug Travis. Travis, usually as stiff as a board, embraced me affectionately. I almost broke down right then and there, but Travis' eyes were reassuring as I pulled away. He was telling me, with his eyes, to go kick some ass in Maine. Boy, would I.

"We didn't even have a name," Jimmy said, his voice cracking with emotion. I looked helplessly at him and back at our parents who were waiting silently at the airport doors with our bags.

"Come here," I said, finally letting the tears spill. Crusty, Travis, Jimmy, and I all group hugged, with me sobbing. It sounds really sappy and stuff, but if you were there, trust me, you'd be bawling your eyes out. I should have been mortified for acting like a total loser, but I wasn't. I sobbed for a little longer once we pulled away, rubbing my eyes in vain to get the tears out. I wasn't too surprised to find tears in my friends' eyes too. Even Jimmy.

"C'mon, Bella," Crusty laughed, wiping his own eyes, "You gotta be strong, or you know we'll all go down."

"Where's tough little Bella?" Travis croaked, laughing slightly. I punched him playfully on his shoulder before reaching up to wipe my eyes again. I didn't even care that people were staring at me.

"You two better keep in touch," Jimmy sniffed. I nodded.

"I'll come and beat you up if you don't," I laughed tearfully.

"Anything to make you guys visit," Crusty said with a watery smile.

"This is goodbye, then," I sniffed, tears coming back. The words I never wanted to speak, and never thought I'd speak. At least not to my best friends. Crusty and Travis nodded sadly. We waved goodbye as they walked back into Travis' father's car. He had driven us to the airport. Jimmy and I watched as the car pulled away, watching until we couldn't see it anymore.

I wiped my eyes and Jimmy put his arm around my shoulder. His eyes were still teary too.

It had been two weeks since we were told we were going to move, and now here we were, in Maine, going to the Hell Home for the first time. Today had been filled with mostly grief and tears, making it the worst day of my life. And now Jimmy and I had moved on from sadness, and straight into fury.

"I miss rain," I snarled, "Where's the goddamn rain?!"

"Watch your mouth, young lady," my dad snapped from the front seat. I didn't pay attention. Jimmy and I had been cursing our mouths off all day and every time we did, our parents would snap at us.

"Bella it will rain here," my mom sighed, "Maybe. We don't really know much about Maine."

"Then it totally makes sense for us to move here, huh?" Jimmy hissed. I laughed darkly. I could see my dad's eyes grow furious in the rearview mirror.

"Guess what, you two? I can't do anything about it anymore, and neither can you. So how about you try to make the best of the situation instead of taking it out on your parents?"

"I have a better idea," I said, not changing my attitude one bit, "How about you send Jimmy and me back to Forks? I mean, that sounds like the best way to make this situation good."

Jimmy laughed, agreeing. My mother sighed, and my dad tightened the grip on his steering wheel silently. He definitely noticed he was going to get nowhere through our thick heads. I have to say, him being silent was a pretty good idea. One more word outta my parents, and things might have gotten ugly.

Finally, we drove up to this nice, creamy brown colored house. It was a whole lot prettier than our home back in Forks. But no way in hell was I going to give my parents the satisfaction of knowing they had gone through my thick head.

So, after sharing a knowing glance with Jimmy, we kept our scowls. We grudgingly pulled all our stuff out of the car as the mover's truck came up behind us. My mom was gushing about the house and lawn, while my father was beaming and telling her how his company paid for some of it. My mom probably knew that already, so he was probably saying it to let us know. Of course, it did make the house seem a little better, but Jimmy and I were careful to not let that show. Nice houses didn't make up for the loss of Crusty and Travis.

I lugged my suitcase up the stairs, making sure to bang the edge of stair with the suitcase so that it made a mark. Jimmy followed behind me, doing the same. We got to the top of the stairs and picked out our rooms. I was very unhappy. Why? Because my room was better than my room in Forks. Bigger, for one thing, but it also had nicer windows and walls. But my anger was just so stubborn.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I didn't even unpack anything except for a comforter. What's the point in unpacking? I'd be packing most of my stuff away for boarding school anyway. In a few weeks, I'd be going to one of the 'best schools in the nation'. In a few weeks, Maine was hopefully going to explode, and we would all move back to Forks.

I laid down on my new mattress in my new bed. I buried my face in my pillow, and if I shut my eyes, I could imagine I was back in Forks. Crusty was sitting on the floor, Travis at the foot of my bed, and Jimmy in my bean-bag chair. If I shut my eyes tight enough, I could imagine them all talking and laughing. I heard a knock at my door, and turned my head up to see if I was imagining the sound or not. Jimmy was at my doorframe, looking sour still, but bit more sobered up.

"Did you unpack anything?" I asked him with a sad sigh. He shrugged, walking over and sitting at the edge of my bed.

"Just a comforter, pillows, and toothbrush," he mumbled. I nodded and then sighed.

"I'm miserable," I groaned, laying my head back down on my pillow, gazing at my blank ceiling. Jimmy sighed.

"What are we going to do with ourselves for the next few weeks?" he moaned, pounding my bed angrily with his fist.

"Maybe keep ourselves locked up here, trying to figure out ways to blow up Maine?"

"Would it be really hard to run all the way back to Forks?"

"Yes."

"How many breaks do you think I would have to take…?"

"Jimmy, you never made the track team. You _suck_ at running. I'd say around a five minute break each mile. You'd get to Forks when you're like thirty."

"I sucked at running 'cause I never tried. If I tried….maybe I'd…"

Jimmy sighed again looking at his feet.

"No, it's pointless. Everything is pointless, Bella. We're freakin' stuck here."

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You know what really sucks besides losing your best friends? Losing your best friends to a preppy boarding school. And it gets better: The boarding school has uniforms. Oh yes, uniforms. The girls have to wear a mandatory grey skirt (which were all the same) and any solid colored polo or tailored shirt of their choice. So, because I never wore a polo shirt in my life, I only had a few tailored shirts, some mine and some my mother's. Today, I was wearing a navy blue one. It fit me more snugly than what I wore casually, and hug my hips a little too much for my comfort. But, hey, I was going to a _boarding _school. I was already kind of out of my comfort zone. I rolled up the sleeves to my elbows, and put on my favorite leather bracelet. I was trying to keep some individuality.

My dad had filled the car with both Jimmy's stuff and mine. Jimmy and mom were standing by the door. Jimmy was in his uniform, looking deadly. He was wearing a black button down shirt, uniform khaki pants, and a light grey tie that he had clearly never worn before except to weddings. His scowl was so harsh it made me want to laugh a little. My mom, of course, looked gleeful as she appraised my uniform.

"Oh, honey!" she squealed, "You look so cute! Can I have a picture?"

"If you have a death wish," I snapped angrily as I pulled my backpack off the floor. My mother narrowed her eyes.

"Bella, be good today. I'm warning you, and this goes for Jimmy too, if I hear anything bad today…"

"Mom, I'm not seven anymore," I hissed, "I don't need this lecture. If I beat up a kid, don't worry, I'll have a good reason."

My mom glared at me but Jimmy broke out in laughter. She sighed and shook her head, but put her hands on my shoulders.

"Bella, I love you, okay?" she said gently, "I really do want you to try and make an effort. Your father and I won't be there to tell you what's right and what's wrong, but we really think this is a great opportunity for you. You've been doing so great in school and…and please just stay out of trouble."

"I'll stay out of trouble," I mumbled. It's just that trouble won't stay out of me…

My mom smoothed out my hair gently.

"Thank you, Bella."

My dad honked the horn from the car. Jimmy and I picked up our backpacks. My mom hugged Jimmy, telling him some stuff about taking care of me and how proud she is of him. Then she pulled me into a hug, kissing me on the top of my head.

"See you for Thanksgiving break, kids!" she called as we walked out the door and into the car. I waved back with a weak smile.

"Are you really going to stay out of trouble?" Jimmy said to me in a hushed, suspicious tone as my dad walked to the driver's seat from shutting the trunk. I laughed and smiled devilishly at Jimmy.

"There's no way that is physically possible, Jimmy," I snickered.

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After two hours of driving, we were getting pretty close. Not only that, but we were getting farther and farther into the woods. Where the hell was this school? In a cottage with three bears? My dad had been pretty silent, probably afraid anything he said would light the bomb on fire. I was in the driver's side, so I was in control of the radio. Which was fine for Jimmy and I, because we had the same taste in music, but my dad found it unbearable. He didn't say that he wasn't happy with the music choice, but I could see it in the way he clenched the wheel. A particularly whiny song came on, so I turned it up, grinning mischievously.

"Is there something wrong with the radio? Or is that his actual voice?" my dad said, wincing. I shrugged and turned the music up louder. Jimmy snickered behind me as my dad glared at me.

I propped my feet on the dashboard, which I knew my dad hated. And I knew I was pushing it, but my dad had been walking on hot coals ever since he dumped us in Maine. It was only a matter of time before his feet got burned, and I'm pretty certain I wouldn't do anything for his feet until he moved us back to Forks.

"Bella, you are really testing my patience here," my dad shouted over the music.

"You bet," I shouted back, tapping my hand against my knee to the music and pretending not to care. My dad swiftly switched the radio off with one movement.

"Hey!" I said, reaching my hand to turn it back on. My dad stopped me.

"Bella, I don't want to lose my hearing prematurely," he said, his voice level, "Please…just…."

"Please, what?" I hissed. I sat back in my seat, crossing my arms angrily.

"Please try to make this opportunity to go to a great school, Bella," he sighed, "I really wish you'd go into this with an open mind. And I can tell from your attitude that you're not planning on doing so. I wish you would-"

"Well, I happen to know from experience that we all don't get our wishes," I interrupted in a grumble, looking out the window. I heard my dad sigh again.

"Please, Bella," he pleaded. I took a deep breath, not turning to look at him.

"I'm not going to just flunk out, Dad," I muttered, "It's not like I'd ruin my future over a stupid school."

My dad smiled, reaching over to pat my knee affectionately.

"Thanks, kiddo," he beamed. I gave him a small smile before turning to look out the window.

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Finally, we got to Burnswick Academy, the school with the weirdest name. I had a better one: Hell School. At least it matched the name of my new home. I only had brought one trunk full of stuff and a small suitcase for my remaining stuff. Jimmy had brought the same, with the addition of his guitar. My dad helped bring our stuff out, before bidding us farewell. It looked like everyone was doing the same. All around us, cars were spilling with people in identical uniforms. Their eyes scanned around the parking lot, and when they landed on Jimmy and I, they became puzzled and amused. New students, new victims, I guess.

Jimmy let out an aggravated sigh, his guitar slung over his shoulder and his stuff on his arms.

"Shall we?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If we must," Jimmy groaned, "The offer for running back to Forks still stands…"

I rolled my eyes, tugging on his white shirt sleeve. We walked into the main building, where we walked to the secretary's desk. The lady was tapping vigorously at her computer, the picture of stereotypical secretaries.

"Excuse me?" I said, putting on my polite voice. The lady glanced up at us, ceasing her crazy-ass typing.

"Hello," she said, peering at us over her glasses, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah," I said, "We're Isabella and James Swan. We're new students…"

"Oh! Right, of course," she said, turning back to her computer. She typed a couple things, gave one last glance at the computer before turning back up to us.

"I have your roommates here, and they're ready to show you around," she said, "I'll just be one moment."

She walked to the door behind her little cubicle, disappearing for a moment. Jimmy gave me a disgusted face.

"We have freaking roommates," Jimmy groaned, "I swear, if I get some weird-y, I'm going to flip out."

"Oh please," I laughed, "Boys can't be as bad it girls when it comes to sharing rooms!"

"Bella, please. Do you remember Crusty and Travis at all? You know damn well that _they_ couldn't share a room if their life depended on it."

"True, but Crusty and Travis were exceptions. They always are," I trailed off, feeling kind of nostalgic now. Remorse filled me at the thought of being three thousand miles away from my best friends.

"We'll see 'em again, Bells," Jimmy said, sensing my sadness and placing an arm around my shoulder. I nodded sadly, feeling pathetic again.

Then the lady came back, a boy student and a girl student in tow. Jimmy and I stood up straighter, bracing ourselves.

The boy had russet skin and black hair, which was pulled back into a little stub of a ponytail. The girl had straight brown hair, but it was a bit lighter than mine. She smiled shyly at me and waved. I gave her a small smile back. I mean, at least she wasn't scowling or firing at gun at me.

"These are your roommates, they'll be helping you with your bags and give you a tour of the school. They'll also be around to help you with anything you need involving school issues," the lady said. She promptly sat back down on her seat to resume her work.

The girl stepped towards me, extending a hand. She was wearing a light pink polo, a modest charm bracelet on her hand, and little diamond studs in her ears. She didn't _look_ lethal.

"I'm Angela," she said in a small voice as I shook her hand.

"Bella," I said with a little smile of my own. I glanced over to Jimmy, and saw that his roommate was looking at me. Jimmy was smiling, though, so I expected something was up. I narrowed my eyes at Jimmy.

"And I'm Quil," Jimmy's roommate said, extending his own hand to me, "If you need-"

"Quil!" Angela snapped with a laugh, "Help your own roommate! This one is mine!"

Jimmy actually let out a laugh, and then actually slapped Quil on the shoulder good-naturedly when his face fell. I gave a small smile to Quil, who grinned and winked at me

"Quil's a little too friendly," Angela explained, "Especially to the new girls."

Quil laughed and rolled his eyes. Jimmy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Am I going to have to keep an eye on you, pal?" Jimmy said.

"She's your girlfriend!?" Quil asked, wide eyed and apologetic.

"Actually," I laughed, "He's my cousin."

He, Jimmy, Angela and I all laughed.

"Here," Angela said, "Let me get your suitcase. I'll show you to our room."

"Oh. Okay, thanks," I said, feeling a little awkward for some reason. I gave a dramatic thumbs-up to Jimmy, with a big cheesy grin, as I walked away with Angela. He laughed, and returned the gesture. I turned and rolled my trunk along by the handle. Angela led me out from the main building, and across some field where all the students seemed to be walking with _their_ suitcases.

"Where'd you two move here from?" Angela asked politely.

"Forks, Washington," I replied.

"Wow. That's pretty far."

"Yeah and pretty torturous too."

Angela laughed and we began to walk towards a big brown building off to the right.

"I'm pretty sure you'll fit in here, don't worry," Angela said with a smile, "You seem really nice, and you're really pretty too. Girls will like you, I'm sure.

Why, oh why, did I have my doubts? Oh right, _experience_.

"Oh," I said awkwardly, "Thanks… I guess…"

"No problem. But there's always a place for everyone here. Besides, you have James, right?"

"Jimmy," I corrected, "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be too worried. Unless _all_ the guys here are….uh…_friendly_ like Quil."

"No, no," Angela giggled, "But I'm sure Jimmy will be accepted fairly quickly with the girls as well."

"Really?" I asked with a laugh.

"He's," Angela paused, smiling shyly, "He's pretty cute…"

"Oh yuck!" I gagged with an appalled laugh, "He's like my brother, Angela!" Angela laughed again.

We finally got up to our dorm room, which Angela opened with her key. It was pretty plain inside, a few photo frames here in there with Angela in them. I smiled. She seemed to be a pretty flexible roommate so far.

I pulled my trunk in and Angela set my bag against my bed. She pulled out some keys from her pocket and handed them to me.

"That's your room key, and the laundry room key too," she said, pointing to the keys in my palm, "And I can move things around in here if you want. I'm pretty acceptable to anything, I guess."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it."

"No big deal. So, do you want to get settled first? Or would you like a tour?"

"Um…a tour'll be nice I think."

"Okay, follow me!"

We walked back outside. Angela pointed out different things on our floor before we got out to the big green field again where people were still walking around. Less people with bags this time, though.

"Those two buildings are the boys' dorms," Angela said, pointing to two brown buildings adjacent from the two girl dorms.

"So, are we allowed in them, or what?" I asked. Angela shrugged.

"You have to have a guy with you, I think," Angela laughed, "The same rule applies for the girls' dorm. Burnswick doesn't want any unwanted creepy people in each other's room without permission..."

"Oh," I laughed.

"But people always break them, somehow," Angela sighed, "Here, I'll take you to the gym building."

We began walking, when I saw Jimmy again. He was surrounded by Quil, and two other boys with the same color skin and hair. One's hair was a bit longer, though. Jimmy turned to me and smiled. He beckoned me over and I glanced at Angela.

"Angela, there's Jimmy," I said, "Would you mind if I talked to him for a little. Just to make sure he didn't make anything explode yet, you know."

"Okay," Angela laughed, "I'll meet you back in our room if you want to start the tour again."

"Thanks!" I said. She nodded and waved as she walked back to the dorm building. As I walked over to Jimmy, I noticed how creepy it was that everyone looked basically the same. Sure, the color of the shirts varied, but same basic idea. I felt…like an M&M or something in this sea of different, solid colors.

"Hey," I said as I approached Jimmy. Jimmy grinned and put his hand around my shoulder.

"This is Bella," he said to his friends, "Bella, meet Jacob and Embry. You already met Quil."

"Aw, Jimmy," I laughed, "You already made friends!"

His friends laughed and Jimmy rolled his eyes. Angela was nice and all, but I still felt more comfortable with Jimmy.

"She can whip your ass, guys, so watch it," Jimmy said with a smug grin towards his friends.

"Are these your roommates?" I asked Jimmy.

"Quil and I share a room, but Embry and Jacob are rooming together. Our rooms are right across from each other, though."

"Who's your roommate, Bella?" the boy named Jacob asked. He was the one with the longer hair.

"Angela," I said. Quil nodded.

"Weber," he clarified to Jacob. Jacob nodded too.

"You're lucky, then, she's not the worst roommate you can have," Jacob laughed.

"Ugh," Embry shuddered, "Lauren Mallory."

Jacob and Quil all made noises of disgust.

"She's a bad roommate?" Jimmy asked.

"Snob, for one thing," Quil laughed, "And a notorious slut."

"Ew," I said, "I'd sprinkle holy water in my room every night, then."

"Exactly," Jacob said with a hearty laugh.

"Well, I have to go," I sighed, "Need to get settled in and all that crap. Can you guys make sure Jimmy doesn't make anything explode? At least not on his first day?"

"Hey now," Quil snickered, "No promises here."

"Bye Bells," Jimmy laughed.

"Bye you guys," I said.

I waved back to the guys as I walked towards my dorm.

Then something to my right caught my eye. He was walking in between a hefty, brown, curly-haired boy and a thinner, blonde boy. He was dressed in his uniform, and, aggravatingly enough, he looked good in it. He was wearing a white button down shirt, hanging loosely out of his pants. The sleeves were pushed up to the elbows, and a dark blue tie was tied loosely around his neck. I was only about thirty yards away, but I could still see his shimmering green eyes, and the way the sun hit his bronze hair.

Edward Masen.

Will someone just _please_ smite me where I stand?

I felt my heart plummeting in an odd fashion, as it suddenly dawned on me that I was going to school with him. A pretty small boarding school. Where basically, everyone knows everything about everyone. Having _class_ with that pretty-boy, when I thought I had served my punishment in elementary school.

Edward was laughing at something the brown-haired boy said, and the sound was so recognizable. I had heard it every day in class when those stupid girls flirted shamelessly with him. His stupid, attractive laughter. Really, did _everything_ have to be perfect? Or was he just put on this earth to destroy me? God, if he was the same, stuck up boy as he was in junior high, I was going to murder someone. I mean, I'm pretty sure all the girls noticed how gorgeous he was? Don't most guys usually let it go to their heads? Yeah, Edward's not any different.

Suddenly, Edward turned his head slightly, and his eyes glimpsed at me momentarily. Then, as if he realized something, his eyes turned back to me. His expression went wide with shock, and his mouth opened the tiniest bit. He looked dubious for a moment, before he just settled for staring at me. I felt violated a bit.

So, feeling spontaneous (and a bit ticked off), I stared at him, and then I stuck my tongue out between my teeth and crossed my eyes. The face I knew made me look hilariously stupid. Edward looked even more shocked, but a smile slowly formed on his lips. Unfortunately for the moron, he was staring at me instead of looking forwards, so he ran smack dab into some little freshman. The freshman's papers flew everywhere, and his two friends broke into laughter. I felt myself grinning too.

Edward and his friends hunched over, picking up the freshman and his papers. I snickered quietly to myself, but Edward glanced back at me. This time, his friends noticed where he was staring, and they too glanced at me with an amused expression. I jumped slightly, and turned my head so they wouldn't see me blushing.

I then made a sharp left turn, having no idea where I was going. I saw the building to the other girls' dorm and quickly stepped behind it. I rested my back against the cool, rough stones of the building, hiding from Edward and his buddies.

Oddly enough, my heart beat was erratic. Funny…my heart beat usually had a better, calmer, rhythm. This just sounded…crazy.

The last time it felt like this around him was in 6th grade. Back then it was the hormones, but now I don't know what's making my heart poud. We were in art class. Ah, the days when we actually got to chose what type of clothes we wore.

I was painting. Jimmy was sitting in the desk two away from mine, trying to draw a horse….or was it a dog? Anyway, I was painting a city landscape. I was actually really focused. I had to move my brush just right so that the windows on the buildings looked the same.

"What is that?"

A voice came from behind me. Edward's, of course. I could already feel my blood boiling. Earlier that day I caught him kissing a girl behind the slide at the playground. Ugh. It was little kid kissing, of course (just pressing their lips together), but it still was pretty bold and whore-y. Worst part? They didn't even pull away when I saw them. I knew they heard me gasp. Of course, I was disgusted. I was so disgusted, in fact, that it felt like my heart was rolling in my stomach. And I was pretty sure that was disgust…

My fist clenched around my paintbrush involuntarily. I really did not need to hear his voice right then and there. My knuckles turned white slightly as I took a deep breath.

"A city landscape," I said emotionless, "What are you _supposed _to be painting. Y'know, instead of talking to me."

"I finished."

Of course he did. Perfect. Always perfect and never failing to be…PERFECTLY ANNOYING.

"Oh," I said. I was hoping he'd take the hint that I didn't feel like talking, and I gently moved my brush back to paint some of the little cars on the highway outside the city landscape.

"I like that one," Edward said. I rolled my eyes.

"Which one?" I asked stoutly.

"The one with the blue window," he clarified.

"This one?" I said, pointing to the window on the red car I painted. Then, as my clumsy hand moved back to where it was on the desk, it hit the cup filled with paintbrushes, making them topple to the floor. They made a loud clatter against the floor, and I shut my eyes. The noises of my klutz-moments always seem so painful.

"Here, I got it," Edward said. I muttered angry nonsense-phrases, low enough that Edward wouldn't hear.

I bent down too, picking up brushes as Edward crouched on the floor doing the same. Our hands brushed, and that's when the heartbeats went erratic. An odd, electric current ran through me as our skin touched. Edward looked up at me and me at him. His eyes were unreadable, but still perfectly gorgeous. And it was all the more infuriating. Especially because my hormones liked them.

"Um…" I said, looking down at the floor. When I looked up at Edward again, I noticed he was staring at my shirt. Or my breasts, rather. My shirt was kind of loose, so when I bent down, it kind of gave people a good view of my breasts. They, granted, weren't much, because I was only in 6th grade, but I still felt violated.

I sat up quickly, remembering exactly why I hated Edward. Hormones or not, a pervert is a pervert, right? Edward stood, his eyes flicking apologetically to my eyes again. Not forgiven, I'll tell you that. He handed the cup awkwardly to me, and I glared in return.

Then he ran back to his seat, with me still giving him the death glare.

I stopped reminiscing and rested my head against the wall, breathing in deeply. I needed to know if Edward was the same. He was probably still perfect, but if he was a girl-crazy man-whore, then I wished to avoid him.

At the same time I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know about his super hot girlfriend, or his super cool friends, and definitely not about his high-class life. I didn't want to know that now he was a perfect gentleman, because that would just…make me madder. And you know what? I didn't know _why_ that would make me madder.

No, what I really wanted was for him to just disappear.

I wanted to not remember anymore.


	3. Okay, Childhood, Time to Leave Me Alone

My eyes stung with tears and my fists clenched

**Disclaimer: (in southern, cowboy accent) This book ain't big enough for the two of us. And with those words, Stephanie shot me down. Yeah, see, that's what would happen if I said Twilight was mine. Because it's not. **

**A/N: Um…enjoy? Yeah, as usual, there's a bigger note at the bottom.**

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My eyes stung with tears and my fists clenched. I wanted to step forwards. To step in between Crusty and Edward because I just couldn't take it.

"You're in seventh grade," my mother's voice echoed over my head, "Too old for fighting."

I watched from behind the wall of the school. The wall that Crusty was backed up against, with Edward poking his shoulder and chiding him for something. Two of Edward's friends stood behind him, snickering. The sound burned my ears. I shut my eyes tightly, urging my feet to walk away, and urging Crusty silently to sock Edward.

Because girls in seventh grade didn't beat up boys. And girls in seventh grade were too old for fighting.

Crusty looked terrified. Edward was talking calmly, but his expression was menacing.

"How dare you even talk to me like that," Edward said arrogantly. His stupid 7th grader pride. His stupid ego.

The boys behind Edward snickered again.

I stepped from behind my hiding spot. All faces turned towards me. Crusty looked relieved, Edward looked as shocked as his two goonies. I put on my angriest death glare, rolling up the sleeves on my long sleeve shirt.

"Ganging up on kids again, oh holy one?" I asked in a serene, deathly tone, "I wonder if it's a sin to hit a priest." I stood right by Edward's shoulder, crossing my arms. He glanced between Crusty and I.

"You wouldn't hit me," Edward said, a slow smug growing on his face.

"Step away from Crusty," I said, ignoring his comment with nonchalance.

"I was just talkin' to him, I swear."

"Talkin', huh? Pretty condescending talking."

"He called me-"

"Oh? He called you something? And here I was thinking you never let words hurt you. Turn the other cheek, right?"

Edward and I were glowering at each other. I had turned his preaching against him.

Moment of piercing silence.

"Telling Crusty to shut up would be enough," I said, shrugging naturally, "Ganging up on him like this, making him feel weak and lesser than you? That's not okay. At least not to me."

"Why don't you act your gender, Swan," Edward sighed, rolling his eyes, "Go shopping or something." Low blow. The anger was erupting.

"Act my gender!?" I said, louder and filled with more rage, "Act my gender!? What kind of sexist pig are you!?"

The two boys behind Edward took a step back, but Edward's tough expression only quavered for a moment.

"Girls can't stand up for their best friends?! Girls have to be weak and sit in a corner?!" I said, fuming now.

"Shut the hell up, Masen," I spat acidly, "And step the fuck _away_ from Crusty."

Edward glared at me for a moment, but then dropped his eyes to the floor. He didn't move.

"DAMNIT, MASEN," I shouted, pulling Crusty's arm from the wall, "ACT YOUR _AGE_!"

I dragged Crusty with me, stomping away from the playground. Tears were still stinging my eyes. I felt like I should be spitting fire. I pulled Crusty outside the school, resting against another wall. I slid down the wall, sitting on the ground with my back against it.

I buried my face in my knees, wrapping my arms around my head. A few tears rolled down my angry, hot and flushed face. I felt Crusty's hand rest on my arm gently.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said softly.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" I said, sitting up and hastily wiping an angry tear from my eye with the back of my hand.

"I'm sorry that Edward Masen is such a fucking idiot."

My dream ended, and I woke up with a jolt. I blinked. I was in my dorm room. My pillow was covered with damp sweat, and my hair stuck to my neck uncomfortably. I ran my hand through it, detaching them from my neck.

How marvelous. The day I see Edward again, I have another memory-dream about him. More like memory-nightmare, actually. This reminiscing has got to stop. How many times have I tried to get rid of those memories? Too many to count.

That memory was especially infuriating. Because it was one of the only times that Edward made me cry. Even if the tears were angry ones, I was still disappointed in myself. I let Edward hit an emotional nerve inside me, and that was disgraceful.

I sighed. It was still dark inside my room. Rubbing my eyes, I searched in the dark for my alarm clock.

Then the bathroom door opened, light spilling out into the room. I squinted, my eyes not quite adjusted. Angela came out, patting her hair with a light blue towel. She waved at me kind of shyly. She was all clothed and clean, while I was sweaty and still in bed.

"Morning," she said with a smile, "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," I lied.

"Um…" she said, throwing the towel on her bed and grabbing a comb from her bedside table, "Wanna shower and then get some breakfast with me?"

"Wha-?" I said groggily, "What time is it?"

"Seven forty-five," Angela said, "Class starts at eight thirty, so we have time."

She walked over to the window, pulling on the curtain's string so that it sprung open. Sunlight filled the room, and I covered my eyes.

"Arggghh!" I said, falling back onto my bed with my hands over my eyes. I heard Angela giggled.

"Sorry," she laughed. I chuckled in spite of myself and cautiously moved my hands from my face, squinting.

"It's okay," I said with a smile to her, "I'll shower quickly so we can go."

"Okay."

I grabbed my uniform skirt and dark purple, tailored shirt.

After showering all the sleep-sweat away, I blow dried my hair. Tying my hair back in a messy ponytail, I stepped outside. Angela was on her bed, wearing a baby blue, tailored shirt and her skirt was nice and ironed. She looked up at me and grinned.

"We match!" she said happily.

"Um….we wear uniforms, y'know," I said slowly. Angela broke out into laughter.

"I know," she said, "But we're both wearing tailored shirts today!"

"Oh," I said. I smiled slightly at her. I mean, she was pretty friendly, but sometimes I didn't know how to react 'naturally' to her comments.

Thankfully, she accepted my small smile and got off the bed.

"Let's go," I said, grabbing my tan-colored messenger bag. Angela nodded, grabbing her pink shoulder bag. We walked out our room, shutting the door behind us.

After breakfast, we looked at our schedules.

I had Spanish first thing, and Angela had French. She smiled apologetically at me, and directed me where to go. Thank God campus wasn't too big.

I waved goodbye to her, walking towards the building she directed me to. My eyes were glued to the map, and that's when I didn't notice a small object run into me. Or rather, a small person.

It was a small girl with spiky black hair. Her books fell to the ground, and I muttered a sorry under my breath, a stupid blush rising to my face.

I crouched down, picking up her books and stilling muttering 'sorry's.

"It's fine," she said, also crouched down, picking up books, "I should really invest in a bag."

I laughed, and picked up the last book. We both stood, and I handed the book to her, still quite embarrassed.

Then I got a good look at her face. She was gorgeous, and looked around my age, but I wasn't exactly sure. The girl looked puzzled for a moment as she looked at me, but then her face lit up.

"Are you new?" she chirped. I nodded.

"Oh my gosh!" she squealed, "That's amazing! I'm Mary Alice Brandon!"

"That's a big name," I mumbled without thinking. This is why you have no friends, Bella, because your mouth is far too wide for your own good. Thankfully, she just giggled and I was a bit surprised.

"You can call me Alice, of course," she said. I smiled at her.

"I'm Bella Swan. You can call me Bella, of course," I mimicked with a laugh. Alice laughed at this.

"What class do you have next?" she asked. She was full of energy, and I felt quite dim next to her.

"Spanish…"

"No way! I have Spanish too," she laughed, "You're a junior?"

"Yeah, I just transferred here from Forks."

"Forks!" she said, looking at me wide-eyed, "Huh…I've heard of that town. Washington, right?"

I nodded. She furrowed her brow in thought.

"I'm sure I'll think of it later," she said, "Anyway, who's your roommate?"

"Angela Weber."

"Oh, good! She's a sweetie. One of the friendliest girls here, I think."

Conversation with Alice was a bit easier than with Angela, but still a little awkward. I was afraid I was going to say something wrong, and then Alice would run away, telling the whole school that I was a creepo. And then junior high and high school would repeat itself, with me finding friendship in the boys instead of girls.

Finally, we got to the classroom. The teacher wasn't there yet. Boys and girls, all clad in uniforms, were mingling. Some sitting on the desks, standing, sitting by the window. Their heads turned as Alice and I walked in. Of course, their eyes lingered curiously on me.

I ignored them as usual. Alice led me to a seat in the back, where another gorgeous girl was sitting. She had blonde hair, and a face that models would kill for. Yet, she was sitting alone, filing her nails. The stereotypical side of me expected her to be crowded with boys/ jealous almost-as-pretty girls. But she was alone. Her face lit up at the sight of Alice, but looked cautiously at me.

"Rosalie!" Alice said, "Meet Bella Swan! She's new here."

"Hi," Rosalie said, even her tone filled with confidence, "I see Alice has found a new pet."

She smiled at me, letting me know she was teasing Alice, and not me. I grinned at her.

"Hey! I'm being friendly!" Alice laughed. Rosalie laughed and then smiled good-naturedly at me.

"Where'd you transfer from?" she asked.

"Forks, Washington," I said automatically. Her eyes went wide with curiosity.

"Forks?" she asked in awe.

"Everyone's doing that today," I said with a laugh.

"Forks….damn, where have I heard that before? Alice-"

"I was thinking about it too," Alice filled in with a nod.

They shared a glance with each other.

Ugh. I knew what they were talking about. Or rather _who_ from Forks they've heard of. And it probably wasn't my brother Jimmy.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After Spanish, I bid Alice and Rosalie goodbye, heading off to English Literature. Blah. Gross. More people I have to talk to.

Thankfully, it wasn't too far and I started walking, feeling extremely bored and missing Crusty and Travis more than anything. They'd brighten up my day.

I got the classroom, without running into anyone this time. Again, there were mingling students while the teacher wasn't there yet. I sighed, keeping my head down as glances burned into my back. I took a seat in the back, keeping my eyes glue to the desk. There were odd pen marks and weird doodles scarring the wood desk, and I tried to remain preoccupied with those.

And then I heard the laughter.

It was crazy, like I thought it was in my head, haunting me while I was awake. Surreal, almost. I winced slightly, and almost looked up as the laughing entered the classroom and bounced off the walls. I could even hear him above the noise of the other students' chatter. It was followed by other laughter, too. Both guy-laughter.

Then the haunting laughter stopped abruptly, leaving only the other two chortlings behind. I sucked in a deep breath, raising my eyes slowly.

Edward was standing at the front of the room, books in one arm. He was wearing a light brown polo, the collar popped up like the preppy boy he was. I remembered him doing that all the time. Habits die hard, I guess.

His uniform khakis, which were supposed to look conservative and respectful, looked sinful on him. They weren't too low or anything, they just looked good hanging around his hips. Green boxers peeked out of the waistband too, but I tried not to linger on those.

Slowly and bravely, I brought my eyes up to meet his. I could see the green from even in the back of the room. The hauntingly perfect green.

I looked away, cowardly. So many different emotions swirled in my gut, and I chose the easiest one: anger. I tried to remain angry, because it was so much easier. So much easier than actually trying to talk to him.

And it'd protect me from the perfection, too. That awful perfection.

I heard footsteps, and prayed it wasn't him. For once, someone answered my prayers. The footsteps dimmed slightly, and I looked sneakily out of the corner of my eye. Edward had sat down, a seat away from me on my left, with his two friends on his left, the curly-haired one in the middle.

I snapped my gaze back to those uh…_interesting_ doodles. Then I heard more footsteps. It was girl with light, curly brown hair. Her hot-red, polo shirt was dangerously low, a heart necklace squashed between her cleavage. She had make-up caked on her face, and her mouth was spread in a wide grin towards me.

She stopped right in front of my desk.

"You're new here, right?" she said, snapping her gum in her mouth. I flinched slightly at the sound, not bothering to hide my disgust.

"Yeah," I said, looking away. Then I noticed I wasn't being very friendly, so I gave her a small smile. I almost smacked myself on the forehead. I was still getting used to the whole 'talking to girls, being their friend' thing. Because back in Forks, girls didn't really talk to me because I'd known them during my rather violent stage. Therefore…they didn't' really speak to me.

But this girl I wasn't too sure I wanted to be friends with.

"You're pretty. Where you from?" she asked, smiling bigger and taking the desk right in front of mine. She turned in her chair, leaning towards me eagerly. I blinked, taken aback by her blunt attempt to befriend me. Pretty? Who was she kidding?

"Forks, Washington," I said for possibly the millionth time today.

Her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped slightly, giving me a view of her squishy, pink gum.

She glanced over at Edward, before she turned back to me.

"Edward's from Forks, you know," she said, either not smart enough to lower her voice, or clever enough to know Edward was going to turn at the sound of his name.

And he did. I was going to slap this girl.

"Right, Edward?" the girl said, fluttering her eyelids slightly and, as she turned to him, sticking out her chest a little.

Edward's eyes moved to me. He must have seen the horror and disgust written on my face, because his mouth twitched in an attempt to hold down a smile. I narrowed my eyes at him slightly.

"Uh…yeah, Jessica," Edward said cautiously.

Jessica let out a giggle before turning towards me. She raised her hand to her mouth, covering it as she mouthed words to me so that Edward wouldn't see (read her lips).

"He's. So. Hot," she mouthed to me, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling for dramatic effect. I gave her a tight lipped smile. I see Edward had bimbos going after him. Maybe nothing _has_ changed.

"So, my name is Jessica," she said, flipping her hair behind her shoulder as she stuck her hand towards me to shake, "And you're….Isabella right?"

Figures. Small school, so everyone knows my name.

"Bella," I corrected, shaking her hand stiffly.

"Pretty name!" she cooed, "We're gonna be _great_ friends."

I gave her a tight lipped smile again. I heard someone cough to my left, and saw Edward covering his mouth. His eyes clearly showed that he was smiling, and probably hiding a laugh. I resisted the urge to scowl at him.

This was going to be a long class.

**EPOV**

Bella was being tortured by Jessica Stanley. I was having a lot of trouble hiding my amusement.

It was Bella. Yes _that_ Bella. And, dear God, did _she_ grow up in those past two years. When I saw her yesterday, I couldn't believe it was her. She looked great. Not that she wasn't pretty from before, but I think it's fair for me to say that growing up made her look a hell of a lot better.

And then, even though it was the first time I'd seen her in a few years, she did something Bella would do: She made a face at me. If I was uncertain about whether it was her or not, that face cleared things up for me. Has she changed from before? I don't know. I haven't officially talked to _her_ yet. Maybe I'd do it when Emmett and Jasper weren't around…

You see, when I first moved to Burnswick for my freshman year, my roommates were Jasper and Emmett. We hit it off…but sometimes I talked in my sleep. To my deep embarrassment, it was because I was dreaming about Bella. And they teased me about it all the time. Whether it was teasing about it in the locker rooms, or bringing 'the mysterious Bella' up in conversations with the girls I was dating. And I never spoke anyone's name but Bella's that first year.

At first, the dreams confused me, because I thought that we hated each other. Then I realized my brain was reacting because deep inside, I was regretful. I wished I had done something to get her. Why?

Because I realized I had a little, school-boy's crush on her.

Eventually, I did get over it. Burnswick had a lot of pretty girls. And I thought I _had_ gotten over. I didn't say her name in my dreams for a _long_ time.

Until she popped right out of my dreams and into my life again.

And now, here she was, sitting a seat away from me being tortured by Jessica. I couldn't tell if it was a nightmare or a dream. My mind was reeling. A part of me didn't want to fall for her again, but another part just wanted to talk to her and see how she had changed.

It was weird, but the second I walked into the classroom that day, I could smell her. I knew it was her, because it was a scent I hadn't smelled in a long time. I really hoped I just had a sensitive nose and my body wasn't subconsciously looking for Bella.

The teacher finally came in, quieting the class. Jessica turned around in her seat, and Bella let out an audible sigh of relief. When I looked at her, she was staring down at her notebook, aimlessly doodling. Her page was clouded with black scrawling of intricate doodling.

The basic idea of the doodles, from what I could tell, was a lot of "Kill Me"s and "I'm Surrounded by Bimbos"s. There were little stick figures stomping on each other, and I smiled inwardly. When we went to school together, I would often just watch Bella doodle. It would say a lot about her mood, and some of them were really funny. Sometimes, I even had a hard time holding in my laughter. So, I guess it was just like old times…

As I was watching her doodle, a new doodle appeared on the corner of her page. It read, 'Stop looking at my notebook, Masen, I have eyes you know.' My eyes immediately flew up, meeting Bella's.

Her chocolate brown eyes. Haunting from my dreams, and smoldering in the daylight. Her eyebrow was raised, a smirk plastered on her face. I smiled back at her slyly. She blinked, probably taken aback that I wasn't blushing.

Oh no, I had outgrown most of my blushing now. I'm a bit different, Bella, dear. I wonder if she had outgrown hers…

I was racking my brain, trying to figure out ways to make her blush while I pretended to focus on the teacher.

Then I felt Emmett tap me on my shoulder, and I turned my head slightly towards him to acknowledge I was listening.

"What's got you so tense, buddy?" he whispered, his voice laced with amusement.

"What?" I whispered back. I was unaware that I was sitting up really straight, so I loosened my shoulders a bit. Emmett chuckled slightly.

"Doesn't have to do with Bella, does it?"

"Who?!" I whispered a little louder. A few heads turned back to us, but thankfully the teacher didn't seem to hear.

"Tyler told me you said her name in your sleep last night," Emmett said, keeping in his laughter.

Tyler. My roommate this year. And apparently a big gossip.

"Then why don't you tell Tyler to keep his gossip to himself," I hissed back. Emmett grinned at me.

"So it's true?"

"….Well, I did have a dream of her last night..."

"Oh damn! I thought you were over that chick."

"I thought so too."

"Then what's with the sudden dream of her?"

"I-"

I was interrupted by the sound of the teacher shushing us. Emmett and I both apologized, sinking into our seats.

Honestly, I didn't know what had brought Bella back into my dreams. I didn't think it was just because I saw her. My brain was reacting subconsciously, and I wish it'd pull me with them, because I was just getting confused. Confusion like this only existed around Bella Swan. Isabella Marie Swan.

Back when I was younger, I was a bit crazy with hormones, I'll admit. Yes, I wielded my newfound hormones. I did stupid things. I acted stupidly, like a _boy._ I'm not sure I'm too much better, actually. Mostly, nowadays, I just focus on schoolwork. Barely going out with Emmett and Jasper, who were the infamous playboys of Burnswick. The teased me for having no fun, but…I don't know. I'd become kind of in a frozen-state around sophomore year.

Girls here have asked me out. And I've declined ever since sophomore year. Freshman year was the only time I dated. Now, they pretty much ignore me except for the passing glance here and there. I try not to talk to them too much. They're all good looking, I have to say. But they just….don't _click_ with me.

I was beginning to fear that I was afraid of dating girls now. Firstly, because I'm afraid I've lost my touch, and secondly because I'm afraid of getting hurt. You've heard of those people who just play their 'lovers' just to get something they want. Girls and boys. And I think I'm a bit paranoid now.

And if that wasn't enough, Bella was terrifying me. Terrified because I could hear a muffled _click _ in my mind every time she looked at me today. Technically, she was my first heart break, even though I never dated her. And here she was, sitting not too far from me. Hating me still, probably.

Oh well, all the better for me. It'd be better if she stayed away.

**BPOV**

After English Literature, I tried to bolt out the door, but Jessica caught my arm. Seriously, this girl was asking to be slapped. I almost glared at her, but she was grinning at me.

"Do you have a free next?" she asked, snapping her gum again.

"Yes," I said curtly, pulling out again, but she pulled back.

"Wait! I have one too! Can we walk around together?"

"Um…well, I was going to go see where my cousin Jimmy was…but-"

"Oh! Can I meet him?" she asked, her eyes getting excited. I narrowed my eyes slightly. I knew what this bimbo wanted.

"Sure…if you want," I sighed into submission. It's not worth fighting this girl. The only way she would leave is if I punched her.

"Sex," she said, grinning at me. Um… this girl was a little too blunt with what she wanted.

"Sorry…?!" I asked, surprised.

"What? Sex?" she said, confused at my shock, "Oh, that's my way of saying 'sweet' or 'cool'. Haven't you heard that saying before?"

"No…" I said, looking at her cautiously. Sex!? What the hell!? When did we start using the word like _that_!? Ugh. I felt like gagging.

"Oh," she said, shrugging and snapping her gum, "Whatevs! Let's go!"

She marched out the door, with me in toll. We walked out onto the lawn, and I scanned frantically for Jimmy.

"So," Jessica began, "Today was your first encounter with Edward Masen?"

"Um…" I said slowly. To lie? Or not to lie?

"Hot stuff, right?" she gushed, "But he doesn't date girls here."

"Where does he date them," I hissed involuntarily. Probably exotic models.

"Nowhere, I think," she sighed, "Word has it he always studies. He didn't even go to any of the dances last year. Whatever, doesn't mean us girls can't stare at him all day."

"Oh," I said. Studying? I was confused, and hungry to learn more about this new Edward Masen.

"Yeah. Even though he rolls with the two most popular boys in the school: Emmett and Jasper. So, Edward's automatically popular too. Except, an untouchable kind of popular, you know?"

"I think so…" I said.

"He's turned like all the girls down," she grumbled, "And we basically just settle for swooning over little moments we have with him. Like _accidentally_ bumping into him or something."

I frowned. He probably thought he was too good for the girls here. Figures….

Then a girl with thin, strawberry blonde hair came running towards us. She was waving wildly to Jessica, who waved back. She had a low cut shirt too, and a skirt that was basically a piece of cloth. As she ran towards us, guys stared at her, their eyes wide. I was tempted to roll my eyes and flick them off.

"Bella, I want you to meet my _best friend_, Lauren Mallory," Jessica said, grinning at her friend.

Lauren Mallory…wasn't she the notorious slut? Huh. I wonder why she's friends with Jessica.

"Hi," Lauren said stiffly, shaking my hand. I gave her my own tight smile. She flipped her hair behind her back, looking between Jessica and I.

"She's _pretty_," Lauren gushed, her nasal-y voice actually burning my ears, "With a little make up and the right clothes, she could be HOT."

I winced, not bothering to hide my disgust. I had a feeling that there would be _a lot_ of make up and _not_ too many clothes in her idea of 'hot'.

Then, thank the Lord, I found Jimmy. He was standing not too far from me, a confused look on his face. When I turned to him, he raised his eyebrow at me, and I glared at him. This made him grin in amusement at my situation. He knew I hated bimbos.

Jacob, Quil, and Embry walked up next to him, and Jimmy gestured to me, explaining something. They all looked at me, smiling with amusement too. Lauren and Jessica were babbling on about something, but then they saw where I was looking.

"Is that Jimmy?" Jessica asked, her eyes wide. She scanned over Jimmy like he was a piece of meet.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Lauren asked, her eyes doing the same.

"Cousin," I said, "He lives with me."

Jacob's grin got wide when he realized what Lauren and Jessica were doing to Jimmy. He whispered something in Jimmy's ear and Jimmy's eyes got wide. He looked at Lauren and Jessica, resembling a deer in the headlights. Embry and Quil caught on, laughing too. I smiled.

I gestured for them to come over, and as they were walking over, Lauren and Jessica were murmuring frantically. Something about hair and make-up, they primped themselves quickly and I fought back a laugh.

"Hey Bella," Jimmy said to me as they finally got over to us, cautiously glancing at Lauren and Jessica.

"Hey," I said, "Jimmy, this is-"

"I'm Lauren," Lauren blurted out, fluttering her eyelashes.

"And I'm Jessica," Jessica practically shouted. I bit my lip to hold in the laughter.

"Okay…" Jimmy said slowly, "And I'm Jimmy."

"You're Bella's cousin, right?" Lauren said, her voice oozing with flirt.

"Yeah," Jimmy said, smiling at me as he began to enjoy the humor of talking to sluts.

"You girls showing Bella around?" Jacob asked, smirking and raising his eyebrow.

"Of course," Jessica giggled, "We're the friendliest ones for the job!"

"And apparently with Bella comes a new boy toy," Quil murmured under his breath. The girls didn't hear, but I did, and I grinned at him.

"We were just about to take Bella away to…show her a new part of the school," Jacob said, eyeing me and grinning: an invitation to play along with whatever he was thinking. Embry looked at Jacob with a mischievous smile.

"Yeah," Embry filled in, "So maybe you ladies want to hang out with Jimmy for a bit…"

"Considering we've already showed him," Quil said, having a very difficult time not smiling. Jimmy's humorous smile was wiped off his face, replaced by a very pale, thin-lipped frown.

"We'd love to!" Jessica squeaked. Lauren nodded, her eyes on Jimmy. Jimmy cleared his throat and looked away.

"I-" Jimmy began. But Lauren placed her hand on his wrist and Jimmy jumped as if he'd been burned.

"C'mon, we'd _love_ to hang with you," Lauren said. Before he could protest again, Jessica grabbed his other arm and pulled him away. Jimmy was, not so subtly, trying to dig his heels into the dirt. Aw, my handsome cousin doesn't know how to act around sluts!

Jacob, Embry, Quil, and I were now all laughing. Jacob was clutching his sides, Quil's eyes watering, and Embry about to keel over, murmuring something about Jimmy's hilarious face.

"Oh God," I said through laughs, "He's going to kill us later."

"I don't think he has a soft spot for slutty girls, huh?" Quil snickered.

We laughed all over again at the thought of Jimmy trying to talk to the girls. Then we finally got a hold of ourselves.

"Ah," Embry sighed, "Quil and I have a project to do."

"You're such a prissy," Quil chided, shoving Embry's shoulder. Jacob laughed at Embry's deadly expression.

"It's okay, guys," Jacob said with a grin, "I could handle Bella for a little, I'm sure."

"Yeah, because my tour guide has been dragged away by Jimmy's good looks," I laughed.

"Awwww," Quil groaned, glaring at Embry, "It's a beginning of the year project, Embry."

"Yeah, well I'm going to get good grades this year," Embry said, rolling his eyes and pulling Quil away by his collar.

As they waved and walked away, I heard Quil snap, "Did you promise your mommy that?"

Jacob and I laughed again and then he turned to me, grinning. He opened his mouth to talk, but was interrupted by something behind my head. Or rather…_someone_.

"Hey there, Bella, long time no see."

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**Yeah, you can guess who it is, because I think it's fairly obvious. Yes, it **_**is**_** the obvious choice. Ha! But see what happens and if there is any Jacob and Edward tension next chapter!**


	4. About To Dive In Over Our Heads

Disclaimer: I'll give you a rhyme, to say what's not mine

**Disclaimer: I'll give you a rhyme, to say what's not mine. I know it'd be mighty fine, but saying Twilight is mine, is considered a crime. **

**A/N: How'd ya like my rhyme!? I loved it, personally. **

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

There are a lot of things I would change if I could. I wish I could go back and chain myself to my house in Forks like I had planned. I wish Crusty and Travis had found a way to come with us to Maine. I wish I'd convinced Edward to move to Alaska instead of Maine. And I wish I'd have come prepared to Burnswick, knowing that Edward would be here. My nerves can only take so much surprise. And I wish I had been prepared to say something to Edward. After all this time, maybe I'd think of something creative to say that summed up all the feelings I felt about him. The problem is, not even now do I know all the feelings I feel about him.

But there was no time for wishful thinking.

Jacob tensed as he looked over my shoulder. His smile disappeared, making his face very sullen. He looked at me, and I could have sworn I saw fear in his eyes. Maybe it was just my imagination, though. I turned around slowly, though I already knew who it was. His voice had been burned into my mind as an immediate caution sign years ago.

And there he was, looking just as sullen as Jacob. Edward turned his head from Jacob to look at me. Were his eyes always this intimidating and hypnotic? A slow smile spread on his face and I was tempted to look away like the coward I was. Looking at him was a slap across the face to my ego.

Here, standing before me, was the boy I had known from years ago. I grew up with this boy, and every moment I spent with him was either filled with shouts, tension, or violence. And through all that, he's _smiling_ at me. I didn't ask for forgiveness from this boy. This boy is the object of affection for almost all the girls here, and would die to see him smile at them. So why did he smile at _me_? What could he want from me?

"Edward," I greeted, no emotion whatsoever, "Yeah, it's been a long time." But his smile didn't falter. If anything, it grew.

"You two know each other!?" Jacob asked, aghast. I thought his eyes would pop out of his head. Edward looked amused, but turned to me as if to tell me to answer Jacob's question. I glared at him and he chuckled. Wow, nothing could dampen this ray of sunshine.

"We both moved from Forks," he explained to Jacob calmly, "I never guessed she'd move here."

"But _I_ should have guessed he'd move to a prep school," I murmured more to myself than anyone. Jacob let out a laugh and Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"So, Jacob," Edward said, turning his green eyes to the unsuspecting Jacob, "I didn't know you joined the Welcoming Committee."

"I didn't," Jacob laughed half heartedly, "Her tour guides got a bit…preoccupied."

He grinned at me and I smiled back, holding back a laugh. Edward raised an eyebrow at our exchange, but didn't look too thrown off his confidence. Of course. Though Jessica might have said he's turning into a nerd, I highly doubt that over-confidence-issue he has will have gone away that quickly.

"How's Jimmy?" Edward asked curiously.

"You can ask him yourself later," I shrugged, "He's here somewhere."

And hopefully not eaten alive by the bimbos.

Edward looked at me incredulously, with his eyebrows raised, and then let out a laugh at my confused expression.

"You really think Jimmy would want to talk me?" he chuckled darkly.

"If you ask _really_ nicely," I remarked sarcastically. Edward rolled his eyes again.

"We should catch up sometime," Edward said slowly, inspecting me for any unwelcome reaction.

Why'd he want to do that?! I was actually at a loss for words. What was he planning to talk to me about? Did he want to start on clean slate? What the hell am I supposed to _say_ to that!?

"U-Um," I stuttered embarrassedly, "Maybe. Once I get…settled…"

Edward grinned widely and I blushed. Gr…first, I make a fool of myself by acting like a lovesick idiot, and then I _blush_. And the worst part is: I'm _not_ lovesick. I guess perfect boys bring out all girls' lovesick, flustered sides.

"I'll look forward to it," Edward said with a smirk. He gave Jacob one last empty look before walking away. I let out my breath in a woosh, taking other deep breaths to clear the red from my cheeks.

You know, if I had chosen to kick the crap out of Edward the second I saw him, I wouldn't have had that embarrassment, now would I? But I couldn't bring myself to be as rude to him as I had when he was younger. Why? Because I'm such a fucking good person that I feel bad _judging_ him. Hey, I didn't know if he's changed or not. Why be guilty before proven innocent?

I know why, because you'll make an idiot of yourself, Bella.

"That was…" Jacob coughed, covering a laugh, "Interesting."

"Yeah, I'd say so," I snapped, "You were quaking in your boots the second he looked at you."

"I couldn't _hit_ the guy," Jacob said defensively, "So I was left a bit without any ammunition."

"So, when you can't use violence, then you're completely unarmed?" I said, eyes narrowing. I shouldn't have been so harsh on him, and I knew I was taking out my anger about my own problems on him.

"Hey, now," Jacob said, standing straighter, "Sorry whatever issues you love birds might be having from previous times, but don't take it out on me."

"Love birds!?" I gaped. Jacob grinned, thinking he had me pinned.

"Jimmy says you're never at a loss for words," he said with a smirk, "And I think you just stuttered when he asked to hang with you…"

"What else did the all-knowing Jimmy say?" I said, scowling.

"You have anger management issues," Jacob said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and began to walk away.

"See? That just proves his point," Jacob said, jogging to catch up with me.

"Great. I'm an angry person. Get over it."

"I think you're especially flustered from meeting him again and-"

I stuck my foot out and Jacob tripped right over it. He was getting too close to the truth. He stumbled over his own feet, but jogging to catch up with me again. He laughed good- naturedly and I fought a smile.

"Do you even know where you're going…?" he asked, smirking.

"No."

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The rest of the day was pretty tough. I was out of focus. Everything was kind of blurry, my mind completely wrapped up in its thoughts. Why did _Edward_ want to talk to me again!? My mind was spinning now, and I could feel my careful defenses tumbling to the ground. Agh! My soldiers were without defenses! Quickly, get the-

"BELLA!"

My crazy thoughts were interrupted from their reeling, and thank God for that. I really needed a good slap in the face right now to break me out of this stupid daze.

I spun around, and saw Jimmy running towards me. I grinned at him, remembering the difficult situation we tossed him in. His expression was furious and grim, but his eyes looked humorous. He stopped his sprint and stood right in front of me, trying to glower.

"Yes…?" I teased with a smirk.

"You're the most loving friend I've ever had," he hissed sarcastically.

"How'd you get rid of them?" I laughed.

"Couldn't follow me into the bathroom, you know," he shrugged smugly.

"Genius, Jimmy. How long did it take you to figure that plan out?"

"Shut up! It's your fucking fault."

"Wait…you weren't sexually harassed, were you?"

Jimmy shoved one of my shoulders and I laughed.

"I kept a safe, two-arms-distance, thank you very much," Jimmy mumbled, crossing his arms.

"I believe you," I said, reaching my hand up to muss his hair, "You're hair doesn't look like those bimbos had their way with it."

Jimmy laughed, fixing his hair that I had messed up.

"So, what'd you do once I left? The guys treat you nice? What class do you have next-"

"Whoa, whoa," I said, putting my hands up and laughing, "I have Biology next and of course the guys treated me nice…"

"Did I miss anything exciting?" Jimmy teased, half-serious.

"Well…uh…"

Jimmy gave me a scrutinizing look and I laughed nervously.

"You remember…um…Edward, right?" I said, smiling weakly.

"Edward…Masen?" Jimmy asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, um…" I laughed nervously again, "Guess what school he goes to?"

Jimmy blinked, raising a confused eyebrow at me. I sighed and glared at him, tired of his stupidity.

"It begins with a B and rhymes with Curnswick," I said flatly. Jimmy understood, because he glared, his fists clenching.

"That's a sick joke, right? If you're kidding, Bella, I swear to God, this has got to be the worst joke I've ever-"

"My jokes are funnier, trust me," I said with a sigh. Jimmy groaned, covering his face with his hands.

"How the fuck did he…" Jimmy muttered, shaking his head, "Why _here_ of all places!?"

"Maybe our mothers talked about dream schools," I tried, shrugging. Jimmy looked like he was going to punch something.

"Oh yeah, this place is real dreamy," Jimmy snapped sarcastically, "I'm practically swooning."

Jimmy went on muttering profanities under his breath and I bit back a smile. He glared at me.

"How come _you're_ not exploding with grief?" he accused.

"Maybe it's because I've already taken out my anger."

"Your anger is all out already, huh? Why do I feel like mine's going to go on forever?"

"That's what it _always_ feels like, dipshit."

"Ugggggghhhh," Jimmy groaned again.

"I have to get to class," I sighed.

"And I have to get the hell out of here."

"Not brave enough to tough out the rest of the year?"

"Just go to class, Bella," Jimmy laughed. I snickered and waved goodbye.

I navigated my way through the different buildings, until I finally got to the Science Department. I took a deep breath and walked into the classroom that my schedule said Biology was in. Inside, I saw some familiar faces, but no one I had yet talked to. It was silent, and I was about to wonder why, but then I saw the teacher shuffling through papers at his desk, glancing up at the clock to see when he could start class.

Eyes turned on me as I walked up to him. He looked up, and understanding burst on his face at once. He grinned, sticking his hand out to shake mine.

"Hello, Isabella," he said, shaking his clammy hand with mine, "Welcome to Burnswick, My name's Mr. Banner."

"You can call me Bella…" I corrected half heartedly. He grinned again.

"Bella it is. You can take a seat," he said, gesturing towards the only open table. I nodded and walked towards the lab table. I sat on the stool, dropping my books on the table. Thankfully, everyone's attention had been redirected to whatever quiet conversations they were having and I glued my eyes to a blank spot on the board behind Mr. Banner's head.

The door burst open and in came Edward. He sauntered in calmly and Mr. Banner glanced at the clock again.

"Just on time, Mr. Masen," Mr. Banner laughed. Edward grinned smugly and then his eyes turned to his, I'm assuming, table. Unfortunately, that was where I was sitting. His eyes looked shocked, but then amused. I hated that he was getting such a kick out of this.

"Ms. Bella Swan is a new student here, as you might know," Mr. Banner filled in, as Edward held back a smile, "She'll be your new lab partner. Don't eat her alive."

Ms. Bella Swan is also the girl who kicked Edward's sorry ass back in the day; did you know that, Mr. Banner?

Edward chuckled as Mr. Banner grinned. Then he made his way over to his-_our_ table as Mr. Banner began class. I took a breath in and Edward sat down next to me, placing his books on the table. Everyone pulled out there textbooks, following along to where Mr. Banner was referring to and taking notes. I tucked my hair behind my ear and watched Edward cautiously out of the corner of my eye.

He truly was too handsome for his own good. He was good looking before, when we were upcoming freshman, but now…now he was inhumanly gorgeous. Of course, my little hormones hadn't kicked in completely back then, and now they were making up for lost time. I felt my heart racing, and I scolded myself. This was _Edward Masen_.

Why did I hate him, again?

Right, because he was a stuck up, goody-two-shoes, loser.

_Was_…

Ugggggghhhhhhhhhh!

I began taking notes, writing carefully so that I could focus on my pen strokes instead of the guy sitting next to me. It was working, until Edward let out a big breath, bringing my attention back to him again. I refused to look at him. He wasn't going to win that easily. He tapped his pen lightly against his notebook, and I clenched my right fist, telling my brain to focus on class. I began taking even slower notes this time.

"Did you always used to write that slow?" he whispered. I jumped and turned to stare at him, wide eyed. He was raising an eyebrow, his eyes (thankfully) on my notebook.

"You've written all of two words," he chuckled quietly. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Can you blame me for trying to be neat?" I quipped back in a whisper. He looked pointedly at his own notebook. Half a page was filled with neat, beautiful script. I set my jaw, turning to write again.

I felt his eyes on me, but ignored them.

Finally, after what seemed like a tortuous long hour, the class was over. I let out a BIG sigh, and Edward chuckled, picking up his books and standing.

"So…" Edward said, walking with me to the door, "Burnswick treating you as well as you expected?"

"I expected death," I murmured, "And what I got was hell."

"Hm…which is better?" Edward played along with a laugh. Which _was_ better? I didn't know.

"I heard you're a nerd," I said, raising an eyebrow at him. He gave me a blank, scrutinizing look.

"Is that we call being law abiding now?" he muttered.

"Burnswick treating _you_ as well as you expected?"

"It definitely has its moments," he said with a laugh, probably remembering one of those said moments.

We were walking in the hall now. Maybe this had to be the longest time we talked to each other without violence or verbal jabs.

"I haven't heard anything about you yet…" he continued, grinning at me.

"Is that a good thing?"

"Not sure, to be quite honest."

"What do you expect to hear?"

"Nothing too bad, I hope. You're not violent again, are you?"

"Depends…are you still a snotty prick?"

"I think you're going to have to decide that for yourself."

Silence. Again, I was at a loss for words.

"Where you headed to?" Edward asked, looking at me with those green eyes again. I didn't think I'd ever get used to those.

"Uh…girl dorms," I said, peering around to make sure we weren't heading for the lake or something.

"Make any friends?"

"Well, you know Jacob," I said, grinning smugly at him. I couldn't help but wave that around in his face. If he was going to make me flustered, I was going to do the same. His jaw flexed and he became stiffer.

"Only befriending the guys again?" he asked, trying to keep his face rid of disgust. He wasn't succeeding.

"I've made some _other_ friends, Edward," I said, rolling my eyes, "I'm meeting them at the dorm, actually…"

"Is Jimmy coming along?"

"Maybe."

More silence. We reached the girls dorms, and that's when I realized that Edward had walked me here. Great. I'll be the talk of the school. Maybe they'll label me as slut of the year or easiest girl at Burnswick. I _needed_ to know more about Edward.

We stopped by the entrance. Girls walked by, taking another glance at Edward and I. They were confused, but don't worry, so was I.

"See you around, then, huh?" Edward said with a laugh.

"Yeah, because now we go to the same _school_," I spat the word with disgust.

"Feels weird…" he mused, running a hand through his perfect hair.

"Definitely…" I muttered. He smiled at me.

"Have fun," he said as he began to walk away. I muttered a goodbye and, guiltily, watched him walk away. When he was out of my sight, I turned and saw Rosalie and Alice staring at me. They were standing two feet away from the dorm entrance, and I was wondering how long they had been standing there…

"I _knew_ it," Alice accused with a giggle. Rosalie was smirking.

"Knew what?" I said, trying to downplay my erupting heart.

"Edward!" she exclaimed, as if that was the answer.

"We knew _someone_ here was from Forks," Rosalie continued, "Alice's hunch was Edward, but she wasn't completely sure…"

"How long have you known him!?" Alice chirped, interrupting with curious eyes.

"Um…since…a long time," I said, not bothering to count all the years.

"Does anyone else here know you've known him?" Rosalie asked.

"A few people," I replied.

Rosalie and Alice shared a glance. Then they looked at me.

"You're eating dinner with us," Rosalie demanded, "There are a lot of things you need to know if you're going to survive this school."

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**EPOV**

I walked into my room, flinging the door closed behind me. I threw my books on my bed and ran a hand through my hair. Tyler, Miss Gossip Queen, wasn't there, and I figured (rather, sincerely hoped) he was out with a girl…again. I cranked up the silver dial on my radio and music came blasting out. Hunching down to open the door to our mini fridge, I pulled out a shiny red apple. My roommates, past and present, all made fun of my love of apples. I ignored them, keeping at least two shiny red apples in the mini fridge.

I collapsed onto our couch, taking the first crunchy bite from the apple.

It had been the summer after my first year at Burnswick. I was sitting on the porch outside my house, letting the cool wind whip around me. My bare feet were resting on the top of our patio table and my arms were crossed. It was then that I wished it had been raining. It was then that I wished I was back at Forks with my old friends.

I heard a car pull up in the driveway, and I knew my dad was home. My mom had been chopping vegetables in the kitchen, a sound that I could hear from the porch. And, when the car's engine shut off, the vegetables stopped chopping.

I stood from the table, pulling the porch door open and walking into my house. I heard my dad tossing his keys on the kitchen counter. He was holding a white piece of paper, the creases from where it had been folded still very visible. My mom glanced between me and my expressionless dad. He smacked the paper on our kitchen counter, and both my mom and I jumped at the sudden noise.

"We didn't come here for you to _slack off_," he said, glowering at me. My mom immediately snatched the paper off the table. Her eyes scanned over it and I braced myself.

"B+ in Science!?" she gaped, "What happened?"

I looked away, mustering up all my teenage angst into my glare. My dad pulled my shoulder back and spun me around to face him.

"We expect your best, Edward," he said chidingly, "Not a halfway effort."

"It _was_ my best," I said through clenched teeth, "I hadn't got adjusted to the difficulty level of Burnswick. It's a _hard_ school."

"You had distractions," my mom pointed out, "If you had just kept your focus-"

"No, what he has to do is work harder. He always does things just enough to get by. That attitude has to go, Edward," my dad interrupted. I looked away again, glaring at the vegetables.

"I don't want to see this again," my dad said, shoving the paper in my face, "Next time, I want perfection."

I took another bite of my apple, trying to get that blasted memory from my mind. I didn't like being alone for so long, because when I did, I always thought of that memory. Unfortunately, because of that memory, I was alone and among my studies most of the time. It was a circular effect, each cycle hitting me harder than before.

How many nights had I tried to get my father's disappointed and angry face out of my mind? How many nights had I gone to sleep, a textbook on my lap, with that angry face haunting my dreams?

So, colleges wanted perfection, huh? I guess they didn't want human beings after all.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't been born into such a prestigious family. With both of my parents being extremely successful, the bar of expectations was already set higher than one of an average person. Everyone was watching me in the middle of a circus ring, silent as I was jumping for the dusty white bar hanging from the ceiling. My dad was the ring leader, giving me that disappointed look every time I missed the bar.

I always convinced I was pushing this for myself. That I did want to be successful. But sometimes a thought would dawn on me: did I want to be successful my parents' way?

Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted.

Bella said that she heard I was becoming a nerd. So, everyone in the school noticed it too. When I abruptly began more driven into my studies, I guess the transition hadn't been as smooth as I had expected. I bet my ex-girlfriends sparked these damn rumors. But Bella….what did she think of me becoming a nerd?

I know what my mom would say. She'd say that Bella was a distraction. Maybe she was right. Maybe I couldn't be fawning over Bella like a little boy crush. I had, for a few brief shining moments, forgotten all about my ambitious parents and studies when I saw Bella again. Now that I was alone with my thoughts, however, I remembered what distraction was. And I remembered how much distraction and Bella went hand in hand.

But, I was too stubborn, as always. I didn't want to let her go quite yet. And how awful would it be if I just abruptly stopped talking to her? I shuddered at the thought. No, I still had to talk to Bella. I still _wanted_ to talk to Bella.

As always, I had underestimated Bella once again. Of course, with Bella, I didn't know that just talking to her would drive me into the depths of craziness. Not to mention the depths of distraction.

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**Okay, so, I just had to give some reasoning to why Jessica said Edward didn't go out anymore. Basically, Edward had been this care free boy until his ambitious parents sent him on the path of success. This does not mean that Edward's going to leave Bella alone because she is a distraction. I just wanted to add more flames to the fire of issues these two are going to dive in to. **

**Yes, I know you're very excited.**

**I had a lot of fun doing a memory from Edward's point of view and I might be doing that again. And I'M VERY SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT. Truly, I apologize, and the next chapter is coming SUPER SOON and its going to be longer I promise!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**


	5. The Reappearance of Edward's Scars

Why oh why do I always get food on myself

.

**Disclaimer: Stephenie doesn't make her characters have random crap happen to them. Oh wait…she does? Damn. Oh well, Twilight's not mine anyway. **

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! FORGIVE ME AND ENJOY THIS CHAPTER!**

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It was getting dark as Rosalie, Alice, and I ran around the campus with our pizza boxes in our hands. They insisted that only wannabes eat in the cafeteria for dinner and everyone else eats in their rooms or somewhere else. Huh…well, wherever we were going, it wasn't their room, and that was certain.

"Where are we going again?" I asked them. Rosalie grinned at me and jingled some metal keys in front of my face.

"Somewhere we're not supposed to be?" I guessed, raising my eyebrows at the glinting keys, "Somewhere that you nicked the keys for?"

"Exactly," Alice pointed out, "We always eat here, you'll see."

"It's not like a janitor's closet or something…right?" I asked tentatively. They both laughed.

"Come on, Bella, give us a little credit here," Rosalie said, "Janitor closets are for hormone driven teenagers."

I laughed at this and we approached a medium-sized, circular, silver building. It looked to be only about two stories tall.

"We're going here?" I asked them. They nodded excitedly and we got to the door. Rosalie took out her keys and looked around to see if anyone was watching. Alice did the same before Rosalie opened the door. Alice and I walked in quickly and Rosalie followed.

Right as we walked in, we were greeted with a set of silver metal stairs. It was not very well lit here, but we began walking. Rosalie and Alice refused to tell me where we were until we got to the end of the stairs. Once we got to the top of the stairs, there was another door. Rosalie and Alice grinned at me and stood in front of the door.

"Bella Swan," Alice said dramatically, "Welcome…to the Astronomy Tower!"

Rosalie pushed the door open and my jaw dropped to the floor. It was a large room, empty except for a giant telescope in the middle. The windows were large too, going from the ceiling to the floor, and they filled up the entire wall across from where I was standing. It looked like I was standing on air if I looked straight forwards and just looked at the view because the windows were so clear and big. I could see the trees, campus, and lake of Burnswick, but mostly, I saw the sparkling stars up in the black sky.

"You like it?" Alice giggled, "It's one of Burnswick's prized programs."

"Check this out," Rosalie said, walking towards a switch on a wall. She flipped it up and a low humming sound rumbled through the ceiling. I looked up at the white ceiling and saw it slowly opening around the telescope. The telescope rose along with the opening ceiling and my jaw dropped again.

"This place is _sick_," I said with awe. I walked towards the large windows as Rosalie and Alice laughed at my dumbstruck expression.

They sat down by the windows and put down their pizza boxes. I did the same, my eyes still looking around in awe.

"How did you get the keys to this place?" I asked.

"Well, normally the Astronomy classes use this place at night, but the classes are only twice a week," Rosalie explained, "So…I got the keys from someone."

"Who?" I asked. Alice smirked at Rosalie, who became tenser. She played it off by shrugging nonchalantly.

"Emmett," she said simply, "He just…gave them to me."

"Yeah, right!" Alice interrupted amusedly with a grin, "Rosalie Hale, you know we're about to tell her everything, so why don't you quit the bull shit?"

"You want me to bring up Jasper, then?" Rosalie snapped quickly. Alice stuck out her tongue and I waited patiently, inspecting the bickering girls. Rosalie turned to me a sighed.

"I'm sure someone has already told you about them, but I bet you didn't get the full story," Rosalie began. She took a big breath.

"Emmett McCarty, Jasper Whitlock, and Edward Masen are more or less the top dogs of Burnswick," she continued, "And they know it, too. They are _all_ cocky and conceited and I'd give anything to snap them out of it with a well placed kick in the groin."

I grinned, knowing all too well what she was feeling.

"Emmett's the asshole," Rosalie said, poison dripping from her tone, "The arrogant jock that probably caresses his muscles every night. He's a dumbass who thinks he can get any girl he wants by flexing his muscles and flashing a grin."

"Rosalie has a bit of grudge," Alice drawled with a knowing grin, "Emmett personally poked Rosalie the wrong way."

"What'd he do?" I asked eagerly.

"Emmett has this…this _delusion_ that he can brand a girl like cattle," Rosalie ground out with an tense expression, "And decided that I was his perfect cow."

"He made sure that everyone knew that Rosalie was going to be his in freshman year," Alice said, "From then on, all the guys avoided Rosalie for fear of getting pummeled by Emmett. And all the girls didn't talk to her because of extreme jealousy and a little bit of intimidation."

"My social life pretty much ended there," Rosalie sighed, "Except for Alice, of course. But after that, I made sure Emmett McCarty got his fair share of ass kicking from me. If he thought I'd come running into his arms after that, then he's even stupider than he looks."

"And the best part is that he's _still_ after her," Alice laughed, "That boy has stamina, you have to admit."

Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"He thinks the way to her heart is by bribing her with tempting things like keys to an off limits area," Alice snickered. Rosalie waved it off silently, but eyed the keys sitting next to her. She glanced at Alice before beginning to speak again.

"Jasper Whitlock," Rosalie began with a mischievous smile, "He's the artsy, poetic, but-miraculously-not-gay guy in the in the clique. He's one of the quieter ones, but if you think he's angelic, then you have another thing coming. Alice had a crush on him for a while."

"I'm over it!" Alice shouted at Rosalie.

"My theory is that he's one of those angst ridden artists who run their own crack businesses," Rosalie continued as if she hadn't heard Alice, "But since _Alice_ doesn't want to dwell on her past crush too much, I guess there isn't much more to say about him."

Alice looked relieved.

"And lastly," Alice sighed, "Edward Masen."

"The devil's spawn," Rosalie said with another wicked grin.

"Devil's spawn?" I laughed incredulously, "Little angelic Edward?"

"Oh, he's anything but that," Rosalie said, "Most of the school has decided he's become a study-geek, but we know better. Especially since you've come back."

"Since _I've_ come back?" I squeaked.

"Edward's family is one of those hard core families obsessed with success," Alice said, "So, you can bet if Edward wants something, he won't stop until he gets it."

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked.

"I did some talking around," Rosalie said, "And apparently, according to Emmett, there was this girl named Bella who Edward murmured in his dreams."

He knows two Bellas. That's the only explanation.

"It must have been nightmares," I dismissed immediately, "That Bella did nothing but make Edward's life miserable."

Rosalie and Alice grinned.

"We like you," Alice said so cheerily that it was hard not to believe her words, "Like us, you're probably the only girl in this school who hasn't been deluded by the likes of McCarty, Whitlock, and Masen."

"But we know as much about this mysterious Edward as you do," Rosalie said, "Even Emmett, who I can usually get a lot of information out of, doesn't know what's up with Edward these days."

"So…he's the same?" I said half to them, half to myself, "He's a man whore?"

"Well, the boy you knew in Forks might have been girl obsessed, but I think he knows how to handle himself better," Alice said, "He's probably become more manipulative and probably not someone you want to trust…"

She trailed off, looking wide-eyed at something behind my head. Rosalie and I turned around too.

Standing in the doorway was Edward and his two friends, which I can only assume were Emmett and Jasper. He was smirking at me, looking all too confident considering that we were just gossiping about him. Shouldn't he be doing homework or something?

**EPOV**

Embarrassment should be a very humbling experience for people. Catching these girls here never made me feel more exposed in my life. And the way Bella looked at me… It was like she understood everything about me. She didn't look angry, but rather accepting. Like she was accepting to the fact I was becoming a bitter old man prematurely.

She used to give me those types of looks when we were kids. Of course, back then, they were more condescending. And, as always, my ego reared its ugly head. I didn't _want_ to be deciphered that quickly. So, as always, it looked like I was going to have to be on my guard too.

Who ever said that guys couldn't be guarded?

Yeah sure, we go about it different ways than girls. We don't shy away in a corner and keep ourselves from ever loving again or something like that. Guys like me keep their dignity in different ways. Hell, I even go about it in a way that I knew disgusted the crap out of Bella. The only way I knew how: being a prick. Not only did it keep my pride, but it didn't bring girls to look to closely.

I didn't want to people to dig into my feelings or thoughts too much. I didn't want their sympathy. I didn't _need_ sympathy. Maybe I've been too careless. Alice and Rosalie have looked into me more than I find comfortable.

Did Rosalie really overlook the fact that Emmett still had a key to this place?

I was happy that he and Jasper dragged me here tonight. I needed to see how stupid I was to let my guard down and let these girls try to decipher me. We'd been listening in to their whole conversation, but once they were done gossiping about each of us, Emmett propped the door open, deciding it was time to make our stealthy presence known.

Rosalie didn't look phased. She actually looked like she was going to bit Emmett's head off.

"I see you've taken all the shit I told you to heart," Emmett said smoothly, walking bravely towards Rosalie. Rosalie immediately stood up.

"It's not shit, and you know it. You'd never lie about that stuff to me," Rosalie said, "Especially because of that _predicament_ I put you in."

Ouch. I bit back a chuckle. Emmett really was a pushover when it came to Rosalie, and her last comment shut him up.

"Alice," I spoke, looking at Alice, "I never took you as the type who gossips about guys behind their backs."

"Only when it comes to assholes, Masen," Alice said with an innocent smile. Jasper and I laughed, and Alice's eyes flickered to Jasper. Didn't Alice talk about being over him? Yeah right. Over him, my ass.

And Rosalie! Geez, you can tell that she wanted Emmett _badly_. These morons just can't admit their feelings for each other. It was trivial. It was immature. It was…

"Since when did you stoop to spying on girls, Edward?" Bella asked, standing up and fearlessly looking me in the eye. I smirked.

"Spying?" I said, playing dumb, "How do you know that _we_ didn't want to come up into the Astronomy lab to eat pizza and gossip about the opposite sex like you three?"

Alice and Rosalie glared at me but Bella rolled her eyes and stepped towards me.

"Funny you should mention fantasize," Bella said, "Been dreaming about me, huh?"

Emmett and Jasper's heads whipped around to me and I braced myself for the embarrassment. Bella looked triumphant, but I kept my expression calm.

"Wait wait," Jasper said with wide eyes, "She's _the_ Bella?"

I ignored them and looked at Bella. It seemed the only way I was going to get out of this with my dignity was to act un-phased. Cocky. What they expected from me. I didn't want to be, but maybe it was the only way to handle Bella. Maybe it was the only way to keep my pride in tact.

I hadn't expected this. I hadn't expected Bella to go back to hating me. Well, maybe she didn't hate me, but (thanks to Rosalie and Alice) she definitely was more cautious around me now. Did I want to talk to her? Did she still want to talk to me?

"Surely you knew you broke my 14-year-old heart?" I said to Bella smoothly. Emmett and Jasper grinned proudly. Bella looked shocked, as if she expected me to fumble my words.

"I broke a lot of things of yours, but I never expected it to be your heart," Bella quipped. Her eyes were guarded again. She probably thought I was kidding to get a rise out of her, but she didn't look like she was sure. Probably, like most girls love to do, she was trying to figure me out. I was, as Rosalie so lovingly put it, the Mysterious Edward, so it was my duty to keep her on her toes.

"I've had two years of recovery, sweetheart," I said with a laugh, "Plenty time to heal."

Then she did something I didn't expect. She marched towards me and lifted the corner of my shirt up. I bit back a gasp, but I'm sure I looked pretty shocked.

Emmett and Jasper let out wolf whistles while Rosalie and Alice gasped. Bella ran a finger over the light pink scar right about my hip bone. I clenched my fists to keep the tremor from rocking my body. Bella looked up at me triumphantly again.

"You still have _this_ scar," she said, poking her finger hardly into my side, "Maybe that heart of yours healed the same way, huh?"

"_You_ gave him that scar?!" Alice asked Bella incredulously.

"Bella, you didn't attack my heart with a tree branch like you did to my side," I said, rolling my eyes, "The wounds would obviously heal differently, and you know that. Why do I think that this was just an excuse to grope me?"

"Cocky," Bella pointed out angrily, standing up straight and blushing, "How charming, Edward."

I smirked at her, marveling at the blush on her cheeks.

"Tree branch!?" Rosalie asked, "How'd you…when did-"

"I'd broken my good, ass-whipping arm, so it was in a cast at the time," Bella said to Rosalie, but keeping her eyes trained on me, "And Edward was being a cockhead, so I picked up the tree branch."

"I bled a lot, and it was one of the only times Bella ever looked sorry for hurting me," I remarked. Bella looked away.

Everyone looked from Bella and me. Emmett finally found his voice and let out a boisterous laugh.

"You got your ass kicked by a girl!" he said tauntingly. Jasper snickered and I rolled my eyes. Alice, Rosalie, and Bella all glared at Emmett furiously. He shut up immediately.

"You boys have overstayed your unwanted welcome," Rosalie hissed, "Time for you to get out."

"We have a key too, Rosie," Emmett said, jingling it in front of her face, "And you do know that students aren't allowed here unsupervised."

"You're going to tattle on us?" Alice asked incredulously, "You do realize that _you're_ here unsupervised as well."

"Then, since neither of us can sit here together, how about we both leave?" Jasper offered calmly. Alice shut up, but Rosalie looked furious.

"We were here _first_," Rosalie insisted.

"Then we'll tell on you," Emmett said proudly.

"You wouldn't," Rosalie hissed.

"He wouldn't," I said with a grin, "But Jasper and I would. We're not swayed by your charms, Ms. Hale."

"You'd tell on the girl you've dreamt about for years, jackass?" Rosalie snapped. I winced inwardly, but I didn't let it show.

"Rosalie," Bella said, pleading, "We should both go. Jasper is right…"

Huh. It looked like Bella was a bit uncomfortable with Rosalie's jeers at my dreams. I wonder what she's thinking about.

"I agree with Bella," Alice said quietly, sneaking glances at Jasper again. Rosalie fumed at Alice and Bella, but she sighed into submission.

"Fine," she said.

We all agreed and we walked down the stairs. I walked slowly, and Bella fell into step with me. She glared at me and I gazed back calmly. The glare killed me inside. I hated being this way. But it was the _only_ way. Right?

Besides, she wasn't any different. She was always hiding being snide remarks and hateful glances. I knew she didn't want _me_ looking too closely. Maybe we were both being hypocritical. But I wouldn't admit it until she did.

"So that answers my questions then," Bella said tensely.

"Guess so," I replied curtly.

"Jimmy'll be so pleased."

"Not like I've ever cared what he thought."

"I thought maybe you'd changed."

"Into what? A sap?"

She didn't say anything.

"I never for one second expected _you_ to change," I said, shaking my head in the darkness of the staircase. She looked over at me.

"I knew you'd always be Bella," I sighed, "I just never thought I'd see it for myself again."

**BPOV**

Damn this boy to hell. I didn't say anything. We walked out of the astronomy tower. No words were said as the boys went one way, the girls going the other. How could I be so stupid? How could I actually want to get myself closer to Edward?

Curiosity kills the cat, I guess. Curiosity is a bitch, and it just slapped me in the face.

As I got up to my dorm room, we parted ways. Alice and Rosalie promising that next time we'd bolt down the door. I waved goodbye to them and opened my door. Angela was on her bed, reading a book. She smiled up at me and I smiled back weakly.

I put on my pajamas and climbed into bed silently, wrapped in my thoughts.

The worst part of this was that I think I never really expected him to change either. I never really _wanted_ him to change. It was weird, and I didn't know why I didn't want him to change. If he did, what would he change into…?

But why did he act so normal before? Why the sudden change of attitudes?

I'm pretty sure that boy plans on driving me to insanity. My cell phone rang, breaking me out of my thoughts, and I picked it up. It was Jimmy.

"I'll see you later then, Jimmy," he mocked in a very bad interpretation of my voice, "That ring a bell?"

"Oh," I said, "Sorry, I went out with some new friends instead."

"Yeah _fine_. See if I care, Bella. Or should I call you Social Butterfly?"

"Oh come on, it's not like you missed me much," I said, grinning, "You have plenty boy toys to play with."

"Ew, Bella," Jimmy gagged, "I'm sure the guys will be glad to hear you think of them that way."

"What'd you guys do?"

"Ate food. Played videogames. Hit each other with inanimate objects."

"Sounds like fun."

"Yeah without _you_, bitch."

I laughed and I could hear the smile in Jimmy's voice.

"Well, you rudely awoke me from my sleep, and my roommate is trying to read a book, so how about you hang up now, 'kay?" I teased.

"It's only eleven!" Jimmy protested, "What are you? An old lady?"

"Goodnight, moron," I laughed.

"Yeah, have fun with your beauty sleep."

I hung up with a lingering smile on my face. Jimmy was always so good at taking my thoughts off Edward. But now that I was alone again…the thoughts came back. Wait. Why did I hang up, again?

Right, because Jimmy is a moron. I grinned again.

I can feel the lights turn off and Angela murmurs a goodnight. I whisper the same to her, but I lay with my eyes glued on the dark ceiling. Angela's breathing becomes deeper and I could hear her falling asleep. I sigh. Insomnia and thoughts about Edward seem to go hand in hand with me. But why oh why am I constantly thinking about him.

He's such a stupid enigma that my stubborn mind won't stop until I figure him out. I thought I had him figured out when we were younger. It was easier then. He was constantly a prick, and it was easy to dismiss him as a man whore. But now I can't do that, because he _isn't_ a man whore. So what the hell is he?

He's doing this on purpose, for sure. He knows how my stupid, nosy brain always needs to know everything.

At least I know one thing from tonight: Alice is most definitely _not_ over Jasper. Jeez, I hardly even know the two of them and it's as plain as daylight that they're nuts about each other.

This school is so weird.

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**People, people, people. I couldn't have Bella nor Edward change, because they have to realize that they neither of them want each other to change. If that makes sense….**

**Yeah, I know, love is weird. **

**I'm also SO SO SO SOOOOOO SORRRY that I haven't updated in forever. I was on vacation for awhile. I apologize and I promise to update both this story and Maria this coming Saturday (hopefully…) Maria updates are also coming later, for those of you who read this story and that one. **

**p.s. **_**REVIEW!**_


	6. And Then There Was Blood

**. **

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.**

**A/N: All right, well, you know the dead end I hit with this one? Well, I fixed the car….but I don't really know where I'm going quite yet. I'm just trying not to run into another wall.**

**I don't know how much my poor car can take.**

**So. Put your seatbelts on. **

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**EPOV**

I yanked the medical tape around my two fingers, biting the piece off with my teeth. I wrapped the piece around, still fuming. Jasper was sitting on the floor, leaning against my bed and raising and eyebrow at me.

"You should get that looked at," he began.

"Shut up," I snapped, having zero tolerance for his voice of reason.

"Or at least invest in a plastic bubble to insert yourself in. You know, so it can shield you from the evils of goal-nets."

I glared at him, finishing wrapping my fingers and throwing the tape onto my desk. I sat on my bed and kicked off my cleats. I was still in my soccer uniform and so was Jasper. God only knows where Emmett was.

"Banner _knows_ I don't play goalie," I said, "Why the _hell_ would he do that?!"

"The downside of having a Biology teacher as a soccer coach."

"He's got another thing coming when my dad finds out that my fingers got stuck in the goal net," I grumbled as I pulled my jersey over my head.

Jasper scrambled away, clutching his heart with eyes wide and said, "Oh lord, anything but Edward's dad!"

I rolled my eyes and threw my jersey at him. He laughed, throwing it back at me and getting off the floor. Then the door slammed open and we both turned our heads. It was Tyler and Emmett holding a few sodas in their hands. I pulled on my white t-shirt and tossed my jersey in my laundry basket.

"Edward, please tell Tyler that Bella would eat him up and chew him out," Emmett said as he threw me a soda can.

"You want to go for Bella?" I asked, catching the soda and looking at Tyler. Tyler shrugged as he hopped onto his bed.

"She's hot," he said bluntly, "And she hangs out with those stoners, right?"

"You mean Jacob Black and co.?" Jasper clarified, popping open his soda can as he resituated himself on the floor.

"Yeah, so she must be high or drunk all the time," Tyler said, grinning, "Things'll just go up from there."

"Bella doesn't do drugs," I said sternly. Tyler raised both his eyebrows in surprise, his smile gone.

"Why?" Tyler asked stupidly.

"Because, Tyler, maybe she actually has a brain."

"And you would know? You never talk to her."

He was right. After the whole Astronomy Tower incidence a few weeks ago, I hadn't talked to Bella once. She ignored me and I ignored her, except for the occasional blank glances. Glances, not stares, because one of us usually looked away too quickly for it to be a stare. And I was fine with it. At least, I think I was. I tried not to give it too much thought, especially because she was fitting in with the slacker-crowd, or as Tyler put it, "the stoners." She had friends. I had friends. Besides, who am I to care if she gets cozy with Jacob Black?

Things were just fine the way they were. And I can settle with fine.

"Yeah, so? I went to school with her for a few years, remember?" I replied.

"People change," Tyler said as if he knew that for a fact. I shrugged. I wasn't in the mood to banter with Tyler's stupidity.

"Nah man," Emmett said as he sat against the door, "Bella doesn't seem the druggie type. She hangs out with Rosalie and Alice too, and I know they definitely don't light up or get drunk."

"Because they don't do anything fun," Jasper said, smirking. Emmett laughed, slapping Jasper a high five. Tyler snickered appreciatively.

I laughed hollowly.

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**BPOV**

"No, Alice, I actually don't care what happened to Edward's fingers."

"But it's a funny story!"

"Why were you even watching them practice?"

"Oh…you know…interviewing Mr. Banner for the newspaper," Alice said, shrugging and suddenly looking a little flustered.

"Right. So, what position does Jasper play, Alice?" I said, putting my pen down and giving Alice a teasing smile.

"Do you want to hear the story or not," Alice huffed.

"I told you I didn't want to hear it!"

"Can I tell you anyway?"

"NO!"

The librarian looked over her desk and shushed us. She glared at us angrily before resuming her fast typing. Alice was holding in a fit of laughter. I rolled my eyes and continued to do my homework. This was the last time I believed Alice when she told me she actually wanted to do homework.

I tried to focus on my homework, but now my thoughts were focused on Edward.

Yes, Edward.

We had pretty much ignored each other for the past few weeks. At first I was relieved because I didn't really feel like sharing awkward silences or stuttered sentences with him. I had no idea what to think of him or how to act towards him. Apparently he didn't know either so we just…stopped talking for awhile.

And it's not like I couldn't take it, because I had gone a few years without him in my life at all.

But now, I still don't know what to think of him. Nothing. No relief, no anger, no happiness. Just…nothing. It was as if we had never met.

"Bella," Alice whispered.

"Hm?" I said, not looking up from my notebook.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"Nope. Homework, remember?"

"Oh. Wait, you didn't know I was kidding?" Alice giggled. I glared at her as she giggled some more.

"What time is it?" she asked. I looked at my watch.

"Shit," I muttered, "Time for me to go to class."

"Really?" Alice pouted, "Damn. What class do you have?"

"Biology."

**EPOV**

I kicked an empty soda can out of the way as I opened my door. My room was a mess, courtesy of Emmett and Jasper. Tyler just fell asleep halfway through his first bottle. Emmett drew stuff on his face and I had about six more cans of soda. Naturally, we were up for awhile.

I rubbed my eyes as I made my way to the Biology lab. I cursed mentally when I realized I had to cross the field to get the building it was in. I marched my way across the grass that was littered with people chatting or studying or making out. I found myself thinking about what Bella thought when she first saw this lawn and the people on it. Did she think it was too unlike Forks? Did she think all boarding schools were like this?

Did she think it was just high school?

My neck was killing me. Probably from falling asleep on the floor. I massaged it with one hand as I opened the door to the building. I sighed again as I weaved my way through the people in the hallway. Finally, I got to the lab and walked inside.

The usual suspects were already seated. That girl with the bright green braces was sitting next to that boy with the blue hair. A girl with starchy blonde hair was blowing a pink bubble with her gum as her lab partner, a nerdy boy with yellow teeth and thick glasses, tried to lean away from her. A few more boring pairs of partners chatted boringly with each other, all in variously colored polos and button down shirts.

I never realized how colorful my class was.

Oh, and there was Bella, of course. She was sitting at our table, as usual. Her hair was tied in a messy bun behind her head and she was wearing a red polo today. She was looking out the window and leaning back in her chair. I walked over, sat down, put my bag on the floor, and said nothing. It wasn't a comfortable silence, but it was definitely normal for us now.

She tapped her pen against her notebook. I drummed my fingers against the lab table. Where you would expect someone to say something, there was silence. Thankfully, Mr. Banner barged into the classroom. I tried to ignore the urge to shout at him for making me play goalie. He'd get an earful from my dad later, anyway.

He greeted us and began writing on the board. I sighed, taking down the lab procedure he was writing.

"So, we'll be doing some blood testing of our own today!" Banner exclaimed jovially, clapping his hands together and rubbing them excitedly.

I saw Bella's moving pen out of the corner of my eye stop at the word "blood" and her body tense at the word "our". I'm also pretty sure she stopped breathing at the word "today".

I almost said something to her. Then Banner began walking around, explaining how to prick our fingers and such. He passed out the materials and Bella stared at them wide-eyed. I cleared my throat and she looked up at me.

"Me first?" I asked, using as little words as possible, which was tradition for us now. Bella's eyes got wider. Something was wrong, and I had to get over this childish silence.

"Are you okay?" I pressed further, inspecting her face. She looked a lot paler than usual. She blinked and looked away.

"Um…yeah, I'm-" she began.

"Get to work, you two!" Banner directed to us. I glanced around and saw the other groups starting. Then I glanced at Bella.

"Right then," I sighed, "So I'll just-"

Bella grabbed my wrist as it went for the materials. Okay, she was clearly _not_ okay.

"Bella, seriously, you gotta tell me what's wrong," I said, extracting her hand from my wrist.

"Mr. Banner," she stuttered breathily, standing up from her chair, "Can I…can I…"

She blinked again and I noticed her legs giving way a little.

"Bella?" Mr. Banner asked, nervously walking over to our table. I stood up too.

"Can I…" she trailed off. Suddenly, her legs buckled from under her and on impulse, I grabbed her waist with one hand and hooked my arm under hers. Someone muttered and anxious, "Oh my god!" and then the class broke into chatters of "Is she okay?" and "Did she faint or something?"

Bella blinked her eyes open and I kicked her chair out of the way, swinging her up into my arms.

"I'm going to take her to the nurse," I said to Banner. He nodded.

"All right, people, get back to work. She's going to be okay!" he instructed the class as I carried Bella out the door.

The hall way was empty and I tried to remember where the nurse's office was in this building.

It would not be too chivalrous of me to ask Bella where it was, huh?

**BPOV**

I blinked again, clutching someone's shirt and seeing lockers pass me by. I felt warm and safe and…

I looked up and saw Edward's face looking forwards. He looked down at me when he noticed my head move.

"Wha-" I began.

"I'm taking you to the nurse's office," he said.

Then it registered in my brain. I let go of my grip on Edward's shirt.

"Did I faint?" I asked, appalled.

"Yes," Edward said, a smile played on the corner of his lips.

"What's so funny?"

"I thought your first question would be, 'why are you carrying me?'"

"Oh," I grumbled, glaring at him as I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, "Fine then, you can put me down now that I'm awake."

"Nope," Edward said stubbornly.

"Why not?!"

"You just fainted, Bella."

"Yeah, well, now I'm no longer in faint-mode, so put me down!"

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'm gonna bite you."

"You don't like blood, remember."

I punched his shoulder.

"Ouch! Hey, is this what I get for saving you from a concussion?"

"No, it's what you get for not putting me down."

"All right," he said, crouching down to the floor and letting me out of his arms. We both stood up as I balanced my self against the lockers.

"There, you can walk to the nurse's office yourself, then," he said, pointing to the door down the hall.

"I will," I said, glaring at him.

"Fine."

I turned around, and instead of it being a dramatic stomp-off, I got dizzy and slipped. I felt his arms around me again before I hit the ground.

"Second time," he sighed, "Can we not try for a third?"

"You're not going to carry me."

He let me go and gave me a hard stare. I stared back angrily. Then I turned away, huffed, and crossed my arms.

"So I see you're talking to me again," I stated.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Do whatever you want, Edward."

Silence. Very, very, uncomfortable silence.

"Fine," Edward said at last. He scooped me up in his arms, much to my alarm, and carried me to the nurse's office. When he looked down at me, I rolled my eyes.

He grinned at me.

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I sprawled out on the grass, listening to Jimmy ramble. Jacob and Embry were listening…or they were pretending to. I couldn't tell. My head was resting against my backpack and Quil was fidgeting with the radio. I shut my eyes and tried to get used to the feeling of sun against my eye lids instead of the feeling of cold wind or rain.

"And then we'll build a giant boat-" Jimmy spewed excitedly.

"Like Noah's Ark?" Embry asked, seemingly uninterested.

"Yeah, except without all those animals. I mean, think about how much that would smell. So, we'll just try to…"

I zoned him out, not really wanting to hear about his global warming evacuation plans. He definitely would not be this organized in a real crisis. He'd probably pee his pants and cry if there was actually a flood anywhere near him.

"Hey Bella," I heard Jacob whisper. I felt his breath against my cheek and opened one eye. He was suddenly lying next to me, grinning.

"Yes, Jacob?" I laughed, mimicking his whisper.

"How do you think we can get him to shut up?"

"Hey!" Jimmy interrupted, glaring at us, "I'm not going to invite you two onto my boat if you keep making fun of me. Who'll be laughing then?"

I smirked at Jimmy, feeling it was too ridiculous to actually be threatened by that.

"Bella!"

I sat up at the sound of my name. Rosalie was walking towards me, waving and smiling. I waved back at her. Everyone suddenly got tense. Jimmy stopped talking, shifting slightly on the grass. Jacob sat up, blowing pieces of hair away from his face. Embry averted his gaze and Quil turned down the radio.

I ignored their actions. Again.

"Hey Bella," Rosalie said, glancing around me, "Ready for Pre Calc?"

"Yup, let's go," I said, standing up and grabbing my bag. The guys didn't move from their frozen positions. Jacob played with the grass by his legs. I told myself it would not be smart to hit any of them.

"See you guys later," I sighed, walking away with Rosalie. They murmured some half hearted good byes.

Once we were far enough away, I turned to Rosalie apologetically.

"Sorry, I don't know what's up with them lately," I said, "They act weird around Alice too."

Rosalie smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. It was as sort of sympathetic smile.

"I mean, you think they have a crush on you or something?" I tried, laughing a little.

"No," Rosalie sighed, "It's not like that, I don't think."

"I just don't get-"

Jessica and Lauren caught my eye. They were walking towards us, whispering. I saw Jessica's eyes glance at me before she began whispering furiously again. Rosalie looked murderous.

"Hey!" she shouted at them. They looked up at her, sneering and rolling their eyes.

See, the thing about Rosalie was that she normally didn't take shit from anyone. I normally ignored Jessica and Lauren, but Rosalie couldn't stand them. They didn't like Rosalie either. Why? Because she was much prettier than them and because she stole Emmett's affections. Affections that they wanted for themselves.

"No one gives a shit, so shut the hell up," Rosalie bellowed at them. Lauren whispered something to Jessica before giving us the finger.

I rolled my eyes at that. It didn't bother me, really, but it must have bothered Rosalie because she tried to lunge at them. I grabbed her shoulder.

"Rose, chill out, it doesn't matter," I said calmly, watching the two whores walk off haughtily.

"Bella, they were talking about you," Rosalie gaped, alarmed at my calmness.

"Yeah, and then they gave us the finger. So what? I don't want their approval anyway."

"I guess that's a good thing, then," Rosalie muttered so low I don't think I was supposed to hear it.

"What do you mean?"

"Bella, there's a reason Jimmy and your other friends act weird around me."

I raised both eyebrows.

"Okay, this is actually really childish when I say it out loud, but…it's just true, and I think you have a right to know."

"Burnswick has," Rosalie took a deep breath, "Burnswick has a sort of inner social class system. On top, you have people like Emmett, Jasper, and Edward. You know, the rich, smart, and athletic type. In the middle, you have the sluts like Jessica and Lauren who breed their own army of whores just like them. Then come the geeks and otherwise 'unknowns'. On the bottom…on the bottom you have the druggies, which are, unfortunately, your other friends."

I frowned at this. Social standards in Forks were nonexistent. I never had to really worry about it before, because you were either liked or you weren't. And I wasn't liked. Now…Burnswick has this intricate system? What was up with that?

"It doesn't matter really," Rosalie sighed, "I don't pay attention to it, and a lot of other people don't either. But it's still kind of there, and I guess your friends see me as…well, let's just say I'm kind of a bit better off than most people."

"So, we're not supposed to interact with other classes?" I said, laughing a little at the ridiculousness of it.

"Jessica and Lauren don't think so, but like I said, it's just a trivial thing. You probably won't hear about it or worry about it again. I just thought you should know," Rosalie said, smiling a little too.

I saw Edward and Jasper walking into the boys' dorm. They were laughing and Jasper was making some sort of face. Edward was holding his sides from laughing so hard. I almost smiled at the sight of it, remembering his semi-angelic deed for me. But we probably wouldn't mention it ever again.

That's just the way things were.

But.

I couldn't help but think….

Did Edward ignore me because I wasn't in his social class?

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**So yeah, I set up a lot of different conflicts that Bella and Edward are going to have to endure. Why? Well, because real life doesn't just have one conflict at a time. Trust me because I know.**

**Why else do you think I was so non-alive for the last month?**

**I hope updates will come soon for this one (funny how the readers are supposed to feel that instead of the author…)**

**Anyway, review? For me? Please? Because I finally broke out of my coffin?**


	7. NO I DON'T!

**.**

**Disclaimer: NOPEEEDY NOPE NOPE. **

**A/N: I like this chapter. Chock full of emotions. Get excited. **

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It's a funny story actually, how I came to this realization. You see, well, things just kinda-

No. That sucks. How about: You know what? It's my own business who I like. And yeah, I know he's a-

Gah. That's worse. You know, maybe it's best if we never mentioned this again. That seems a bit easier. Let's just forget I ever said anything about maybe partially have very miniscule tiny feelings for Edward.

Yeah. Let's just forget that.

Heh…heh…

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I hugged the light green windbreaker closer to my body, shivering on the cold metal bleachers. The rain reminded me of Forks, but the skill of the soccer team I was watching never could remind me of Forks' awfully horrific soccer team. And I was cold and wet, which reminded me of Forks. But this was Maine.

I sighed. Alice looked at me, sitting in her bright pink rain jacket. She looked down at her thermos and back up at me. She shoved the thermos at me wordlessly.

"You look like you're about to turn into an icicle," she explained. Rosalie glanced at me from my other side, dressed in a red sweatshirt and holding up her black umbrella, which was dripping water.

"Maybe we should take her back, Alice," Rosalie said as she watched me chatter. I shook my head violently. The whole school was here, and I couldn't just _leave_. Burnswick is very….spirited? Yeah, that would be the word. I'd be thrown in jail for not being here for Burnswick's big soccer match.

I held Alice's thermos and opened it, letting the steam of the hot chocolate waft across my face in a warm breath. I closed my eyes and sighed contently. I took a long sip, even though the liquid burned my throat. It was a sweet kind of burning.

I handed Alice back her thermos just as the bleachers went wild with cheers. We looked onto the field where Emmett was pumping his fist excitedly. Jasper was cheering and the coach was patting Edward on his back, who smiled ruefully in response. The crowd sat back down as the ball was brought back to the center of the field. I looked at the score: Richardson 4, Burnswick 6.

Edward must have scored.

I wanted to sigh again, but I held it in. Alice and Rosalie would definitely drag me away if I did that. I craned my neck, watching Jimmy, Jacob, Quil, and Embry sitting on the highest bleacher. They were talking with each other, only Jimmy intently watching the game. I almost smiled when I realized Jimmy probably dragged Jacob, Quil, and Embry to the game. I had a sneaking suspicion, from Jacob's bored expression, that they usually didn't go the school events.

Then Jacob's eyes shifted downwards, catching mine. His expression was inscrutably hard. I felt a stab of pity for abandoning them, but I found my eyes instinctively looking away.

They (Jacob, Quil, and Embry) had been a little…weird lately. The more and more I hung out with Alice and Rosalie, the more and more they were uneasy with me. I understood, but I really wish I didn't. I wish I was more like Jimmy, who was basically blissfully unaware of all the tension. Either that, or he was just really good at covering up his anger towards me.

Alice and Rosalie were clapping for the Richardson kid who got run over by Emmett, watching sympathetically as he was dragged off the field on a stretcher. Emmett was arguing with the coach and I could see Edward's tired expression. I watched him march over to the bench, dumping water down his throat and shaking his wet hair out of his eyes. I looked away before he could catch me staring.

We'd gone back to being half-acquaintances. Polite. Short. Suffice.

I watched him write neat notes in his notebook, raise his hand in class, get praised by teachers, talk emptily with his friends, and then go back to locking himself in his room. Then some days I watched him slump in his chair, be silent the whole class, get shouted at by teachers, laugh loudly with his friends, and then go back to locking himself in his room.

If I felt that I could, I'd tell him to quit being so bipolar.

But I couldn't. So I just watched him out of the corner of my eye, secretly trying to figure him out. He seemed empty. He seemed confused. He seemed…

He wasn't the charming, beautiful, dreamy, boy that every girl seemed to dream about. At least, he didn't seem that way. I felt as I if I couldn't place an accurate adjective on him for fear that it might change tomorrow.

Arrogant? He's completely humble a few days later.

Charming? He's a silent mute later.

Introverted? He's out on campus way past his curfew with his friends the next day, laughing so hard I could hear it from my dorm room.

He was indecisive. That's a good adjective, I guess. But not…I don't know, unique enough?

I blinked, clearing my thoughts. I had to stop tearing my brain apart trying to think about him. Really. Truly.

I looked back down at the field and tried to find Edward again. I looked down at the bench. He was staring straight at me, a frustrated and confused expression on his face.

I sighed and cheered half-heartedly when the game started up again.

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"You look tired."

"Thanks."

Edward rubbed his eyes as I examined the purple bruises beneath them. I looked away, staring at my notebook.

"Late after party?" I asked with as much nonchalance I could muster.

"Yeah. Emmett got drunk. We had to drag him back to his room."

"Oh. I heard about that."

Edward nodded. I saw him look at me, but I didn't return the glance. Our glances had become gazes lately, and I was afraid if I gazed too long, I would figure something out about him that I didn't want to figure out. The things I could figure out without looking at his beautiful face are safer than the things I could figure out with looking at his beautiful face.

Mr. Banner was scribbling on the board around the diagram projected on it. I drew the diagram as best as I could, noticing Edward's looked like something straight out of the book. Perfect at everything, and yet so hard to figure out.

Suddenly, Mr. Banner clapped his hands together so unexpectedly that I jumped in my seat a little. I saw Edward fight a smirk of amusement. The smirk went away when Mr. Banner announced the Bio project.

"It could be on any of the topics we've studied so far this semester," Mr. Banner explained after the class let out a groan.

"You have the rest of the period to discuss with your partner how you'll present the project to the rest of the class," Mr. Banner continued, clapping his hands once more, "Go!"

The class broke out in murmurs and Edward turned to me, bored. I put my hand on my neck, leaning my elbow against the lab table, just as bored.

"So," I began, "What…um topic do you want to do?"

"Mitosis."

"Everyone's doing that one."

"So? Ours will just be better."

I gave him a hard look, and he stared right back. Then I chickened out.

"I want to do DNA replication," I stated firmly, "We can make a model and-"

"Fine, no mitosis. We'll do meiosis."

He smirked at me. My eyes narrowed. Today was Friday, and I refused to get detention for punching a student in the face. Or kicking him in the groin. Whichever worked better.

"Replication," I repeated, "I refuse to make sperm and egg models just so you can plaster that immature grin on your face."

I fought back the familiar, angry tension that was building in me. Stay calm, Bella. Stay calm. Edward's smirk went away.

"I'm cranky, Bella, as you so lovingly put it," he said, pointing to the bags under his eyes, "And when I'm cranky, I get my way."

"Is that so?"

"I like keeping up my traditions, you know."

"We're going to do replication," I said, trying hard not to say the words through gritted teeth.

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Why not!?"

"Because I want to do meiosis."

His jaw was clenched, and I realized my fists were clenched too, my face leaning towards him menacingly.

I remembered why we stayed away from each other.

"_Why_ do you have to be so difficult," I said in a low, threatening voice, "Replication is a better topic and you know it."

"Maybe I'm just too stubborn to let you have your way," Edward said calmly, "And maybe I'm not afraid of you anymore, Isabella Swan."

"Oh, _ha ha_. You were never afraid of me. You were afraid of your ego being hurt by being near me."

"Meiosis."

"Replication," I said acidly.

"No," he enunciated slowly, leaning his face towards mine as his lips formed the word.

"Yes," I snarled, leaning towards him.

The bell rung and people began to get out of their seats. I gave Edward one last glare.

"Meiosis," Edward said once again, glaring back as he made his way out of the room before I could stop him.

Chasing after him would be childish. Who wants to look lovesick, anyway?

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Odd how things like this happen to me. It was almost as if it belonged in some melodrama you watch on Monday nights. Or some angsty teen movie with Lindsay Lohan.

Whichever.

Alice and Rosalie were sitting at one side of the lunch room. Emmett was staring at Rosalie (again), two tables away. Jasper was scribbling something on a notebook, an eraser tucked behind his ear. Edward was pretending to be very interested in his soup while Lauren Mallory gazed at him longingly, sitting at a table behind him.

On the other side, Jimmy was throwing mashed potatoes into Quil's hair, Embry was propping his feet up on the lunch table (ew…), and Jacob was shoveling mac n' cheese down his mouth.

I was standing in the middle.

Perfect.

"Bella!" Rosalie called with a smile, not noticing when Quil's eyes shifted towards me. Embry looked too. Jacob pretended not to notice, taking an abnormally big bite of food. Jimmy…well, Jimmy shoved some more potatoes onto Quil's head.

Alice glanced over at them, looked at me, and gave me a sympathetic smile. She knew, but she didn't understand. And yeah, there is a difference.

I smiled and walked over to Alice and Rosalie's table, feeling the other side of the room looking at me. And they say that cliques don't exist in this school. Bull. That's a load of bull. So because the cliques don't have secret handshakes or secret passwords, then it must mean they don't exist. Right?

No. Wrong.

High school sucks. I miss kindergarten. Bring back nap time.

I felt anger rising up in my gut. I didn't even know where it was from or who I should direct it at. I didn't know why it was there or when it was going to go away. But I knew that suddenly, a tiny part of me wanted to sit down and cry. Like a good, long, cry. Ever get that way sometimes?

It happens to me sometimes. When I don't get my nap time.

Alice and Rosalie noticed. I know they did. But they didn't say anything. What could they say? _I_ didn't even really know what was wrong. How the hell could I answer them when they asked me?

They started talking and I swallowed the lump in my throat. What was wrong with me today? The anger, the crying, the tempers, the mood swings. Maybe I was PMSing. I tried to shake it off as best as I could. When I looked over Rosalie's head, I saw Edward staring at me.

He looked away.

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"I just don't get it. Why won't you come to my dorm tonight?"

Jimmy jogged to catch up with me, wearing that stupid confused expression. I gave him a tired look.

Hm…let's see. Maybe it's because I no longer feel welcome in your little group of friends and no one seems to comprehend me being on _both_ sides of the social classes in Burnswick. Or the fact that I hate that I'm not welcome because I miss hanging out with you more than ever, but can't do anything about it. Maybe it's because I think I'm PMSing and don't want to unleash my unending torrent of anger and mood swings on innocent bystanders. It's a lot of things, Jimmy, but I just can't go because things are fucking different here at Burnswick and I wish the difference would just stop.

"I have homework," I replied weakly.

"Bull," Jimmy said, stopping in front of me so my path was blocked on my way to American History. I glared at him.

"You _always_ have homework," Jimmy whined, "Bella, what's going on?"

"Please don't ask me that," I sighed, ready to beg him not to ask me.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Things are fine. Really. I just-"

I took a deep breath.

"I can't," I said sadly, "I'm sorry."

"Damn right you are," Jimmy huffed, "I miss you, Bella. I feel like I don't even see you anymore."

"I see you all the time, Jimmy, you live in my house."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know."

I looked down at my feet, staring at Jimmy's non-uniform Converses that he probably got detention for…again.

"Are you like…pregnant?" Jimmy asked as he looked at me hesitantly.

"What?! No. God, no," I said, laughing a little, "Jimmy, no I'm not pregnant. You think I'd deprive you of meeting your future neice/nephew –in-law?"

"Ha ha," Jimmy said, rolling his eyes, "Jeez, I was just wondering. You've been having a lot of mood swings lately. It's easy to just blame them on pregnancy."

"Yeah," I said, the smile slowly disappearing from my face.

Or blaming them on PMS.

Whichever.

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I hid my feelings for the rest of the day. I hid my anger at the school, confusion on what I wanted to do with…everything, and my overall angst that seemed to be swelling up like a balloon in my stomach. I plastered a smile and forced my laughs.

I suddenly felt like Edward with all of _his_ crazy mood swings.

Edward and I argued for a little in the library about our project, but I just felt out of it. The librarian shushed us and we reduced our conversations to whispering. Finally, I just couldn't take it. One more word, and I'd probably snap.

"Fine," I said with an angry bite in my tone. It was softer than the others. Tired and weak from snapping at Edward every second.

"What," Edward blinked, looking at me in shock.

"We'll do fucking meiosis," I snapped weakly. I flipped to the textbook page where meiosis was. Edward slapped his palm on the textbook, stopping me. His eyes looked confused and curious.

"That's it? You're giving up?"

"I'm being _mature_, thanks for noticing. Now move your hand if you want to keep it."

"But you never give up."

"Maybe I've changed."

"Ha. Right. We've established that you haven't."

I rubbed my eyes, not even having the amount of willpower to snap at him again.

"Edward, just…don't make this-I've had a long day, all right? Happy?"

"Why the hell would I be happy?"

"Because…that's your explanation for my surrender. Okay? Truce for now."

Edward gave me a long stare and I looked back down at the book. I moved to flip the page but Edward placed his hand on mine quickly.

"Bella," he said sternly.

"What?" I asked tiredly, looking up at him. He looked like he was trying to figure out something. His hand felt warm on mine and I suddenly felt sharp sparks jolt through my body. He seemed to notice and moved his hand from mine. He opened his mouth but I stood up, my legs a bit wobbly from the emotional roller coaster.

"I can't do this," I said, "I need to…do something. Anything. I can't do homework right now."

I grabbed my bag and scurried out the library. I walked onto the field, shaking my thoughts off me in the fresh air like you shake water off an umbrella. They fell off me, but came right back.

"Bella."

I heard his voice calling me. I heard his footsteps coming behind me, but I kept walking.

"Bella, stop walking."

Oh, interesting proposition, lemme think about that one….NO.

I felt his hand on my shoulder as he spun me around. I stumbled back a bit, but thankfully didn't fall over. I glared at him.

"_What_," I snapped, "I told you that I couldn't do homework right now."

"Yeah, but you didn't tell me why," he quipped, scrutinizing my face with his green eyes.

"Why do you care?"

He clenched his jaw and crossed his arms.

"Honestly, I don't why," he said, frustrated, "You just-_ugh_. You know what? I shouldn't care."

"Yeah, you shouldn't," I snapped.

I began walking away again but Edward grabbed my shoulder again.

"I shouldn't…but I do."

He looked shocked at his own realization.

"Great. Let me go," I said emotionlessly.

"No."

"I swear to God, Edward Masen, I'm going to sue you for sexual harassment."

"What's up with you today, Bella? Something's definitely wrong-"

"Yeah, you know, something is wrong. If you figure it out, could you tell me? I'd really like to figure it out too," I said, pulling my shoulder out of his grasp, "Tell me something; what's up with _you_ these days? Why are _you_ so bipolar?"

He opened his mouth, probably to defend himself, but he shut it.

"If you figure it out, could you tell me? I'd really like to figure it out too," he said at last with a suddenly guarded look on his face. I took a step back.

We stared each other down for a moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Remember to do your research for meiosis," I said finally.

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I threw the rubber ball angrily against the wall. It hit the wall, then the floor, and went back into my hand. _Smack thud smack thud smack thud_.

I felt like ripping my hair out. I felt like breaking something. I felt like strangling something.

I stopped bouncing my rubber ball and turned to kick over my trash bin forcefully. I stared at its spilled contents and sank to the floor. I hid my face in my arms.

I was angry at myself for being so messed up. I was upset that I couldn't talk to Jimmy without feeling some sort of tension and uneasiness. I was furious that high schools arranged themselves into cliques that just tore kids apart anyway. I was terrified that I was going to never figure out why the hell I feel so wretched.

I was confused.

I didn't know if I wanted to talk to Alice or Rosalie or Jimmy or Jacob or anyone. I didn't know if I even wanted to _talk_.

I let my head fall back against the edge of my bed, taking a deep breath. I felt useless and weird and torn apart and if this was adolescence, then _fuck you, puberty_. I put my face in my hands again.

I thought about Edward. Broody, confused, angry.

I almost laughed. We were too alike in that way. Two confused teenagers pushing through the adversity of high school without a clue how to survive. Two teenagers taking their anger at life on each other. Two teenagers misunderstood. I almost laughed again.

My mind wandered with Edward sprinkling my thoughts. The more I thought about him, the more frustrated and angry I got. He was so confusing, and everything about him made my stomach feel like jelly.

His eyes, his lips, his hair, his voice, the way his face twisted when he was frustrated, the brightness of his smile that swallowed his whole face in happiness, the way he-

Oh _crap_. I dropped my rubber ball and stood to my feet once I realized what my stomach turning into jelly when I thought about him meant.

I don't-shit, no I can explain- I don't like him like that! I just- I- C'mon, there's no way I could be attracted to someone like-

No. No, I refuse.

Unbelievable. He's an _awful_ match for me. Right. Exactly. So, I'm not attracted to him.

Absolutely not….

Ugh. _Crap_.

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**Oh, you know how we all love the good ol' angsty, teenage, confusion. Yeah, Bella will struggle with that for a little. But I thought I'd get the story rolling with her small realization that there might be some tiny feelings for Edward. **

**Teeheeeee. **

**REVIEW****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (…was that forceful enough for ya? Hahaha)**


	8. When We Left The River

**.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

**A/N: I BLAME YOU ALL FOR TALKING ME INTO THIS AGAIN.**

**Gr. I was going to leave it be, really I was, but I'm such a pushover and decided that **_**maybe**_** if I give it another go, I can fix the things I wasn't too happy about before.**

**Honestly, I hated how the story was turning out. I hated trying to make everyone happy. I hated writer's block. **

**So, here's my attempt at fixing all the crap that I wrote. If I hear any whining from any of you, I swear to God, something will go up in flames. And yes, there's criticism, but telling me that you 'don't like it' and leaving it like that is not criticism. It's a statement. More importantly, it's a whine.**

**I honestly can't make any promises as to updates. This story is just alsdjfhalksdhflakjsdhfsakjdfhasdf. So are the characters. Hope you get used to it.**

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I stood with my arms wrapped around my chest, letting the wind whip my hair and listening to the water lapping against the rocks. I stood stiff, hardly relaxed or at ease. I didn't want to talk to Jimmy, I didn't want to talk to Alice, I didn't want to talk to Rosalie, I didn't want to talk to Jacob, I didn't want to talk to Edward.

But I most certainly did not want to be left alone to rationalize with myself.

So I focused on the water. The leaves. The sky above Maine. I didn't focus on my problems or my confusion. I focused on my chapped hands. My tear streaked cheeks. My chattering teeth. The birds flapping overhead.

I was in my rain boots and school uniform, sans coat or gloves. Classes hadn't started yet, and I'm not sure anyone was even _up_.

I don't have feelings for Edward.

I don't miss Forks.

I don't miss everything making sense for once.

I don't miss freedom.

And I don't lie to myself. Ever.

I swiped at the tears on my cheek with the heel of my palm, shaking my hair out and breathing in.

_Stop crying. You're pathetic_.

It was grey out. The dark kind of grey that always comes before the sun rises.

I rubbed my toe into the rocks and heard the boats at the dock knock against each other when a ripple of river water came their way. I thought about hallways, lockers, whispering, hair flipping, eye daggers, and wondered how anyone ever made it out alive. I thought about trees and sharpies and pancakes and how George Washington and Napoleon put their hands inside their shirts like they're hiding a secret. A secret that I needed to know. They key to life, maybe, though I might not trust Napoleon…

The tears had stopped falling, but I saw a figure coming in from my right. He was limping, but he had plaid boxers sticking out of his khakis and an orange-toned shirt with the sleeves rolled. As he got closer, I saw the bronze hair and the hurt eyes, but I didn't move.

I didn't say anything.

I thought about oars and mice and RNA polymerase. Pens and beakers and Bibles and shelves and dust and feathers and dreams.

But he didn't say anything either. His arms crossed over his chest as he stood half a foot away from me. His eyes were out on the river and my eyes were down on the ground. I noticed the toe of his sneaker was a dark blood color.

I thought about rocks and shoe laces and feet and socks and shaving cream and waxes.

We stood in silence as I remembered my chapped hands and tear streaked face, and then I thought about fires and guns.

It could have been forever. A century. The world could have turned around more than three hundred times and I would have just stood there, thinking about lamps and cheese and wishing I didn't want to cry.

"So whatever happened to Crusty and that fish he bought at the end of 8th grade," Edward asked. I didn't look at him, my eyes out on the river with green and blue and brown hues.

"He killed it," I said flatly after the sound of wind turning up hair filled our ears, the lack of words much louder, "He hated it after two days because…he just didn't like it. But when it died…"

Edward didn't say anything.

"He didn't get one after that," I said, shifting on my feet and crossing my arms, "And we didn't talk about it."

"Because it was just a fish."

"We didn't share our feelings."

We stood in silence. The sun was turning a pinkish color. I thought about peaches and baby smiles and beady eyes and oranges.

"Are you angry?" Edward asked.

"I always am," I answered gruffly, turning my head from him.

No explanations for that one. More silence. My ears were ringing from it.

"Shit, Bella," Edward sighed, real emotion suddenly filling his voice and making it sound a lot like despair, "Burnswick's got to you."

I didn't answer.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," he continued, "You don't want anything to do with Burnswick. It's going to swallow you…and I can't watch it happen."

I swallowed, feeling sick as I stood more stiffly.

"So turn around," I said dully.

"I won't be the bystander."

"Run."

"I've tried."

"And?"

"I take everything with me."

I chewed on my lip and glared at him. He turned to me slowly and I noticed the tiredness of his eyes and expression. He looked as wretched as I felt.

"Well I can handle myself without your sudden caring," I snapped. His face remained unchanged.

"Are you angry?" he asked calmly.

"You asked that already."

"Why do you tolerate me if you are so angry?"

"I hate this question," I mumbled.

"Am I angry?" he mused to himself, ignoring my answer.

"We're teenagers."

"Is that what made you angry?"

"No," I said, chewing on the words, "You made me angry. At first. And then…you leaving made me angrier and sicker…and now I'm…."

He didn't respond. He didn't need to.

"This isn't healthy," he said at last, "I spent all of last night out here thinking about you."

My breath caught. I thought about scissors and index cards and peanut butter, but it wasn't helping because I only saw Edward's face in my mind and I couldn't stop my eyes from meeting is.

"I got in trouble with my dorm advisor," he laughed without humor, "Hit my leg on my bedpost because I was too distraught to watch where I was going, and then couldn't sleep."

"Why were you…thinking about me…?"

"I started by trying to figure things out, failed miserably, and then tried to stop myself from trying again," he sighed, "Then I thought about how I don't see you as alive anymore…how I heard the rumors Lauren and Jessica tried to start about you…how you looked so hurt yesterday, and thinking about how to save you from this shit-fest that is Burnswick…it nearly killed me."

"You confuse me," I said, involuntarily stepping closer.

"I don't mean to," Edward mumbled, "I'm…not good at this."

We laughed quietly.

"I'm not any better," I said.

"Things don't make sense."

"I know."

We stood shoulder to shoulder, and for a brief moment…

_This_ made sense.

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When a truce is reached and the generals step away from the guns and maps and bullets and gun powder. When hands shake hands and people in the streets throw their hats up and hug and kiss. When Edward and I left the river this morning with not much of a better understanding of anything, and not really feeling _too_ much better…

The only thing I could do was scream.

Alice covered her ears and Rosalie chucked a pen at me. We were sitting on the lawn during our third period free, cross legged style with our homework splayed around us. I had just let out a bellowing scream, earning looks (naturally) and a pen-bruise that I didn't mind at all.

"Bella, what the _fuck_?" Rosalie snapped, glaring at me, "Are you drugged?"

"That felt good," I beamed, feeling tingly. Rosalie rolled her eyes and Alice giggled.

"Can I try?" she asked as Rosalie slammed her book shut and slapped a hand over Alice's mouth.

"Don't even think about it, small-fry," Rosalie said, squealing and yanking her hand away.

"You licked me!" she exclaimed.

"I licked her," Alice confirmed, laughing as I laughed.

I fell back onto the grass and shut my eyes. Alice and Rosalie whispered, but I just kept my position without much of a smile or a frown. Maybe this is what Buddha meant by the Middle Way.

I felt something papery hit my forehead and I squinted one eye open, my view of the sky suddenly being filled with a view of Jimmy's frowning face.

"No frowning please," I said, shutting my eyes, "I'm in a good mood today."

"Was that you I heard screaming?" I heard his voice ask.

"Yes," I heard Rosalie grumble as Alice giggled.

"Jesus, I thought you were being raped or something."

"Raped by the urge to scream," I corrected cheekily, opening my eyes. I sat up.

Jimmy was not alone, flanked by Jacob, Quil, and Embry, who were standing a few feet back and talking amongst themselves. I noticed the passing looks all of us were getting from other students and how Rosalie and Alice kept their faces down, Jacob, Quil, and Embry with their eyes anywhere but mine.

Right. Social classes. Almost slipped my mind.

"Cute," Jimmy remarked, rolling his eyes, "Anyway, wanna come over later? I have something to show you."

"Sure," I said. Jimmy grinned.

"Awesome."

"It's a date."

"Ew…that was uncalled for."

"Sorry. Good mood."

"…_why_?"

"I honestly don't know. But frankly, I'm not going to care where it comes from, I'm just going to bask in it."

Jimmy turned around and walked away and I laughed at his back. He turned and grinned at me.

"Later," he said.

"Bye."

Rosalie and Alice didn't say anything, pretending like the boys hadn't even walked over.

"Cos89," Rosalie mumbled, typing on her calculator, "Fuck, that is _not_ the right answer."

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I still didn't know what it was by 7th period, but I knew Edward was feeling it too. The start of a beautiful friendship? Or the giddiness from the smell of fresh truce?

Because for now, we'd forget figuring things out and just sit together without worrying about how I was supposed to hate him and he was supposed to be ticked off by me. We'd stop worrying about how I didn't fit into any social class yet and how he made up the upper class. I wouldn't ask why he started focusing on schoolwork and why he seemed so bipolar at times.

Because for now, we'd talk about cacti.

"I don't believe you," I said, looking at the cactus sitting in the front of the Bio lab.

"I swear to God, they had to take it out in the hospital," Edward defended, laughing, "How can you not believe me?"

"It's not that I don't believe they're not poisonous. It's just that I can't comprehend what type of stupid 10th grader would decided petting a cactus was a good idea."

"I touched it by accident!"

"That's what _all_ the pedophiles say."

Edward laughed and I grinned. People looked over at our table and whispered. Funny how tuned I was to this whole 'people talking about me' stuff.

But Edward and I had no problems. Not yet. Because we had a new plan:

Ignore everything.

It was an unspoken plan that only passed through cheerful, airy, freedom-like looks that made my heart sing and my fingers tingle. Who knew it'd be Bella and Edward?

It was abrupt. It definitely wasn't kosher. It definitely didn't conform.

But we still didn't know what 'it' was. Freedom? Free from caring? From worrying?

If that was it, why did I notice everyone talking about us?

Stop.

I thought about cacti and Edward's smiles and his lips and the way his knee brushed mine when class finally started and my eyes glued to the clock.

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**Honestly….**

**Make what you want of that. I'm gonna make this story a short-ish one if I ever have the willpower to finish it, but basically it's driving me crazy. I just kinda drove this story up the wall…**

**I'll have fun reading what you all think of it. **

**Bring it on. **


	9. See No Jimmy, Feel No Guilt?

**.**

**Disclaimer: Wishes don't come true. Okay, sometimes, but not this one. Because Twilight isn't mine. **

**A/N: I'm awed. Truly. And emotional and grin-y and giddy.**

**Thank.**

**You.**

**All.**

**I'm sorry I was such a cry-baby last chapter, but reading your sweet and understanding reviews just made me the happiest person alive. I'll try to finish this story correctly, for your sake, and learn my lesson about writing author's notes when pissed off and stressed. Sorry I threw up all my angst on you…it doesn't happen that often, I swear.**

**So anyway, thanks a ton and I'm going to try to finish this the best I can. I don't know what I did to deserve such beautiful readers.**

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I squeezed my eyes shut as I sat on my bed and breathed calmly, waiting for my phone to give me the four voicemails someone had left me last night.

Stupid, Bella. Fucking stupid.

I didn't regret ditching Jimmy.

Not until I looked at my phone. And not until I passed a very angry looking Embry on the way to breakfast this morning. Angela had asked where I was last night when I got back, and gave me a note that Jacob left me. I had yet to read it. And I had yet to listen to voicemails.

You see, I was just walking out of class and I saw Edward standing by the river, writing in a notebook as the wind whipped up his hair in a way I'd grown fond of seeing. His white button-down shirt was un-tucked on one side, wrinkled, and his tie was loosened. He looked up at me, and when he ignored the looks I _know_ he knew both of us were getting…

I just was tired of it. Tired of the drama and cliques and _caring. _

So he smiled at me. I smiled back. And we spent the night walking around campus until our feet burned. Talking about everything except where we were supposed to be, who we were ditching, and what supposedly 'mattered'. I didn't regret it. I wouldn't. But I wished I hadn't hurt Jimmy along the way.

"Message one," the recorded voice said as the message started.

"Called you a couple of times," Jimmy said, his voice pondering even though it held an edge that made me wince, "You didn't pick up, clearly, and so um, yeah, I'm wondering where the hell you are. Some secret mob business you had to attend to? Underground drug dealing? Anyway, I'm more important. So. Yeah. Get over here."

Beep.

I scrambled to hear the next message.

"Hey Belly Welly Jelly Shmelly," Jimmy said, still sounding bored and edgy, "Guess where you are? Not here. Guess where I am? In my room. Forget where it was or something? You're like six million days late. Okay, more like two hours, but hey, call me if you've been raped by the boogyman or something awful that's prevented you from coming to visit good ol' Jimster."

Beep.

Next message.

"Three hours late. You know what? I'm going to bed. You can call me or whatever, but I'm _pissed_ and tired and sick of your bull shit," Jimmy said, sounding irritated, "Hope you're having fun wherever the _fuck_ you are."

Beep.

My hands trembled.

Last message.

"You know what sucks? Getting ditched. You know what's worse? Getting ditched by your best friend who you've known since you were in diapers. Good night, Bella, I've got nothing else to say to you."

I still held my phone to my ear once the messages were over. I shut my eyes. It was impulsive and stupid and wrong and I didn't know why I did it. I huffed and shut my phone.

No. I knew _exactly_ why I did it. I wasn't sick of Jimmy, I was sick of all the people who reminded me of me. I was tired of seeing _me me me_ wherever I went. In Alice, Rosalie, Jimmy, Jacob, Embry, Quil, and everyone else. I just saw things I should be or things I was or things I missed.

And when I was with Edward…I didn't see me. I saw one feeling, one thing, one moment that had a me there somewhere, but not a me that was screaming or hurting or making me feel worse. I didn't know what it was, but right now I'd call it friendship, and I knew it might not last later and I knew it was probably short lived and good for all the wrong reasons. And I was selfish. And I'd hurt Jimmy.

But I was just so _sick_ of everything.

And something about Edward's smile and Edward's eyes and our conversations just made everything better. It was confusing. It was wrong. But I was done with caring. So this was me running. Taking everything with me, because Edward was right about it never really leaving you, but ignoring the phone calls. Maybe Edward would be by my side, but this was my new policy: let it go and never go back.

Get close.

But not enough to see myself in their eyes and their actions.

Because I was tired of me.

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_Bella,_

_Meet me outside the boys' dorms? We need to talk_.

_-Jacob_

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and folded the paper back up. Where was Edward?

I swung my bag over my shoulder and marched to the boys' dorms. I'd talk quickly with Jacob, and then Edward would save me and we'd go someplace else. It was a good plan. I hummed to myself the songs stuck in my head until they became a mangled mush of notes and lyrics. I drummed my fingers on the top of my backpack and looked up at the sky.

Was the day going to go my way?

I saw Jacob's tall, muscular, russet figure standing with his arms crossed in the shadows of the boys' dorms. I darted the people walking around me and ignored their looks at me and who _I_ was headed for. Jacob stepped out from the shadow of the tree with a blank look on his face, no friendly spark in his eyes. His eyes said one thing only.

Protect the pack.

And I'd wounded their newest member, right?

"Got your letter," I said, matching his blank stare as I held up the folded paper between my fingers. He nodded and sighed, shifting on his feet and re-crossing his arms. He looked at me sternly. I kept my face blank.

"Did you listen to Jimmy's voicemails?" Jacob asked.

"I did."

"Did you talk to him yet?"

"Did he say anything about _wanting_ to talk with me?"

Jacob set his jaw. I planted my feet and crossed my arms.

"I know where you were," Jacob said, his eyes darting to the floor, "I saw you walking with him."

Great.

I didn't respond to him. He glanced up at my eyes to see my reaction and returned his face to emptiness again.

"I didn't tell anyone," he said, rolling his eyes, "Though I probably should have."

"It wouldn't have made a difference."

"Right. Well, that's why I didn't say anything."

"Were you following me?"

"I had late detention," he said stiffly, "Quil and I were the only ones, but Quil left ahead of me. On the way back to my dorm, I saw you two."

I was silent for a moment, feeling like punching something, maybe even this conveniently non-moving, annoying, nosy person in front of me.

"So why are you telling me this?" I said, getting defensive.

"Because, Bella, haven't you heard what they say about him?"

Oh cry, cry. That is the worst and most clichéd question ever asked by teenagers about any student they don't know _every little detail_ about. Though usually the question is asked by teenage girls…

Naturally, I laughed out loud as his question.

"Thanks, Jacob, I can take care of myself," I said, beginning to walk away. He grabbed my arm.

"Bella, you gotta listen, all right? Jimmy would be crushed if-"

"Hey man," I heard a familiar angelic voice say calmly, "Can I borrow Bella for a sec?"

I turned to see Edward standing there calmly with a natural, easy going grin. But his eyes were on fire.

"Bio project," he said, holding up a sheet of paper, "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, we're done," Jacob said, letting go of my arm and glancing at Edward and I.

"See you, Bella," he said, backing up and walking away, one last glance at Edward. Edward let out a shaky sigh and I looked up at him. He shook the hair out of his eyes and tried to smile at me.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't really interrupt anything did I?"

"No," I said, smiling back, "You did exactly what I wanted you to do."

"What?"

"I was hoping to run into you," I admitted, "Part of the only reason I came to talk to Jacob anyway…."

"Yeah, well, you're like a magnet I guess," Edward laughed, "But I thought you liked Jacob."

"He's pissed at me."

"You handle pissed people moderately well…if things don't get violent, of course, so why would you need my saving?"

"I actually did something _wrong_ this time."

"Ah. Afraid to confront your guilt."

"No!" I defended immediately as Edward raised his eyebrows and laughed without humor.

Is that what all of it was?

"I just didn't want to fight with him," I said, "God, can't I be in a good mood for once without someone telling me I need to punch some jaws off?"

"Hey, I specifically said no violence."

"Right," I scoffed, "You wish I would punch Jacob in the face."

"I do, actually," Edward laughed, "But, if you don't mind, I'd rather not dwell on our relationship today. I'm in a good mood too…at least, I was."

"Past tense?"

"He was grabbing you," Edward cringed, looking at me.

"And?"

"I didn't like it."

"It was just an arm," I said, rolling my eyes.

We've got bigger problems. Like Jacob knowing where I was. Like secrets that could ruin the nice little, low key friendship Edward and I have. Edward, the boy who everyone is mystified with and Bella, the girl who doesn't understand the meaning of belonging to one set class and one set group of friends. I wasn't too sure how good my peer-pressure shielding skills were…and even less sure of Edward's…

"How are you with peer pressure?" I asked abruptly.

"In past years or in lately?" he clarified.

"Both."

"In past years….god awful. Shitty, actually," he laughed, "But lately…it hasn't been on my mind."

"Not once?"

"Not often."

"You just do what you want?" I teased even though Edward didn't smile much.

"The only pressure I follow is parental and academic," Edward mumbled grimly, looking away from me, "And you?"

"How am I with peer pressure?"

"In past years and lately."

"Uh…I'm not sure. It hasn't really been on my mind."

Until now.

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"Sponge painting is a _physical_ art," Ms. O'Dell said, walking around the class and talking in that artsy, passionate, dramatic voice, "Your emotions physically pour from your soul and onto the canvas!"

"So let me see _emotion_, people," she said, looking at all of dreamily, "I know you all have them, and don't be afraid of-"

"Ms. O'Dell!" a boy called out, interrupting her.

"Yes?" she said excitedly, hoping for a student to finally understand.

"I spilled paint on my pants, can I got to the bathroom?"

Everyone snickered quietly as Ms. O'Dell sighed and waved her hand at the boy. He burst out of the room. Poor kid. Poor Ms. O'Dell.

"Hey, Bella," I heard a voice whisper. I turned to see Emmett standing at the canvas next to me. He was leaning towards me, trying to keep quiet. Ms. O'Dell threw a sponge at the last person who talked out of turn, so Emmett, naturally, was cautious.

"Are you going to the game tonight?" he asked, glancing towards the front of the room sneakily.

"Maybe," I said back, spinning a paintbrush on the table, "Why?"

"Because Edward missed practice yesterday."

I stopped spinning the paintbrush and looked up at Emmett.

"Don't worry, I'm not mad," Emmett laughed quietly, "But I figured if you went to the game, he wouldn't be tempted to skip out on that as well."

"How do you know that-"

"I didn't," Emmett grinned, "But your reaction told it all."

I didn't answer now, pretending to follow Ms. O'Dell's words as she waltzed around the classroom in her airily and artsy way.

"I can keep a secret, Bella," I heard Emmett whisper. I glanced at him and he was smiling at me encouragingly.

"Edward was all smiles this morning," he said, grinning slyly at me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Trying to get another juicy reaction?" I asked. He laughed.

God. I really needed to work on keeping my face less expressive.

"People are often so worried about _speaking_ because spoken emotions are so raw and strange," Ms. O'Dell was saying, "So if you keep an open heart and a true artist's hand, you never need to worry about speaking ever again."

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Rosalie was standing on the desk and I was spotting her, holding her ankles as Alice directed our movements.

"Raise it higher," Alice called out as Rosalie strained her arms to tape the poster down.

"To the left a little," Alice called out again and I laughed when Rosalie murmured some not-so-lady-like comments about Alice.

We were putting up her poster of Andy Warhol's Marilyn Monroe. Music was blasting through the speakers on Rosalie's laptop and the wind blowing in from the open windows flapped against the other posters on the wall, the bed sheets, some papers on the desk, and our uniform skirts.

At first we had vehemently argued putting up her poster, but we finally caved because we knew there was some kind of price to making fun of Alice's short stature all day and night. She was finally wielding it against us with that 'but I'm too short' pity card.

"Where the hell do you buy this shit?" Rosalie asked, reaching up on her tiptoes.

"This was a gift from my mom," Alice said. I heard chewing and I turned around. She was eating a candy bar.

"Higher," she said, gesturing upwards with her palm. Rosalie turned around and glared at her.

"Is that _my_ candy bar?" she demanded. Alice giggled.

"Alice Brandon, so help me God, I will rip down this stupid poster-"

"Chillax, old man," Alice said, showing her the wrapper, "It's my special power bar."

Rosalie scowled.

"When I finish this, you are going to be pixie dust," Rosalie snapped as I laughed again.

There was a knock on the door.

"Don't worry, I got it," Alice reassured us as Rosalie mumbled again. I heard the door open and someone let out a low wolf whistle. Rosalie and I snapped our heads around. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward were standing at the door and Emmett's whistle lingered as he gaped up Rosalie's flapping skirt. Rosalie's hands flew back to cover her skirt over her exposed underwear, but she lost her balance and yelped, falling backwards.

You see, I tried to catch her, but I really am an awful spotter.

We landed in a tangled mess on the ground, me laughing hysterically along with everyone else as Rosalie glared at all of us, her hair a mess and her clothes jumbled.

"Alice!" Rosalie shouted.

"What?" Alice said through giggles, "I didn't push you!"

Rosalie glared and her eyes fell onto Emmett, who stopped laughing immediately.

"Emmett," Rosalie growled.

"Hey, babe, you're the one with the short skirt," Emmett laughed.

Rosalie was still half-lying on top of my lungs, but I couldn't stop laughing. She spun her head facing me and she was pretty much lying flat on top of me, her hands on either side of my head and this only made me laugh more. Rosalie started laughing too, because it was just so funny in a not-very-funny way that made you laugh hysterically no matter what.

"Jesus, I'm going to need a cold shower," I heard Emmett mutter. Rosalie stuck her tongue out at him.

"Does this entice you?" she teased Emmett, wiggling her hips as I squealed, spewing more hysterical laughter. Alice was on the ground, clutching her sides as she laughed. All of the guys' eyes went wide at our little spectacle.

"Rosalie," I said, through my gasping laughter, "Get offa me."

We laughed as I pushed her off me. My hands went up to fix my very tangled hair.

"Bella's got sex hair!" Alice exclaimed, which only made her and Rosalie laugh more. I laughed, scrambling to my feet and looking in the mirror. Only I wished I didn't. Alice hopped up and helped me fix my hair.

"Fuck," Emmett said, his voice gravelly, "We should come visit you girls more often."

Edward was laughing, nodding at him and giving me a glazed-eye look. I smirked at him, having fun with his teenage boy hormones. It was about time I had the upper hand.

"What did you want in the first place?" Rosalie asked, adjusting her skirt.

"We were going to ask if you wanted to come eat dinner with us," Emmett said, his eyes unabashedly staring at Rosalie's legs, "But you girls can just continue what you were doing and we'll just…you know, sit and watch…"

"Ha ha," I said, rolling my eyes. I looked at the poster.

"How does that look, Alice?" I asked. Alice looked up at the poster and squealed giddily, clapping her hands.

"It's gorgeous," she gushed, "And we could go to dinner with you guys, right Rosalie?"

Rosalie didn't answer after a moment. Of course, with me in a truce with Edward and Alice not-so-secretly smitten with Jasper, Rosalie was the only one still harboring hate for Emmett. But she seemed to be in a good mood.

"Don't you guys have a soccer game?" she asked, looking straight at Emmett.

"Yeah, but not until later. Plus, they can wait for us," he said flippantly. Rosalie raised her eyebrows, walking to the door, scrutinizing Rosalie's face.

"Fine," she said as Alice clapped giddily again. Edward grinned at me and I smiled back.

"But let us get changed first," Rosalie huffed.

"We can't watch?" Emmett said, looking disappointed. Edward and Jasper laughed as Rosalie slammed the door.

My phone was buzzing again, but I ignored it, silencing it and shoving it in my pocket as Rosalie and Alice bustled around the room to get ready.

We're teenagers. How the hell do we know where we belong?

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**Again, thank you all for your reviews. They really do mean a lot to me. **

**I tried to update quickly for this one, and I decided I was just going to let things unfold, so to speak. Not quite sure about the length of the story yet, but I'm fairly certain I'm going to continue it as best I can.**

**Next chapter is dinner with the boys!**

**Delicious.**


	10. Ol' High School Frivolity

**.**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**A/N: Can I just tell you? I'm terrified of the 10****th**** chapter. Double digits…..it seems like such a commitment…**

**Eep. Anyway. Hope you like this!**

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"I bet Bella can beat you," Alice boasted as Emmett took his bows to our awed clapping. He frowned, looking at me smugly.

"Oh really?" he asked, clearly not convinced.

"Ew, Alice, can we not?" Rosalie said, scrunching up her nose, "It was disgusting enough watching Emmett do it."

"Bella can do it," Alice continued.

We were all sitting in Jasper and Emmett's, rather disgusting, room. The pizza had been devoured and the hours had been burned away with laughter and talking and teasing. What homework? Responsibilities? Peer pressure?

Pssssshhhhhhhh.

"What makes you so sure," Emmett said, crossing his arms in a challenging way.

"She's a man," Alice shrugged. I chucked my straw wrapper at her and she giggled.

Emmett just spat his gum from across the room and into the garbage can. He got two dollars from Jasper because Jasper bet he wouldn't be able to. Emmett raised his eyebrows at me. I rolled my eyes

"You can't have spitting contests with _gum_," I said, laughing as Rosalie 'ewwwwww'd again at my insinuations.

"Um, we also can't have spitting contests in my room," Jasper added, laying back on his bed and doodling on a napkin.

"It's my room too, dickface," Emmett huffed.

"Besides, it's already filthy enough," Edward added in, "A few wads of spit on the walls won't really make a difference."

Edward and I were sitting on the floor, our backs leaning against the side of Emmett's bed. Rosalie was lying down, her head on my lap as I played with her hair. Alice was sitting cross-legged at the foot of Jasper's bed. Emmett was standing and looking in the mood to challenge me to a spitting contest.

"So, wait, you really think you can beat me?" Emmett said to me.

"Take it outside," Jasper said, flipping his hair out of his face as Alice watched him sneakily out of the corner of her eye. I resisted rolling my eyes at her.

"Ugh, but I don't want to get up," I groaned, involuntarily leaning into Edward's shoulder. He was warm. And comfortable. And he didn't seem to mind, so I stayed there with my shoulder leaning against his.

"Lazy ass," Rosalie murmured.

"Hey, if I get up, you have to get up too."

"Save the showdown for some other day, Emmett," Rosalie said as I smirked. Emmett sighed.

"You all suck," he said, running and jumping onto his bed, making Edward, Rosalie, and I duck as he landed with a 'ka-thump'.

"Well fine, but I'm still betting on Bella," Alice said, crossing her arms.

"That's cool, I like proving people wrong," Emmett said cockily, "Tomorrow after Art, Bella?"

"Can't. I meet with Edward for our Bio project then," I said, remembering the project was due soon.

"Fine, the day after-shit, no, I have soccer," he sighed, "The day after _that_?"

"That's the day of the dance!" Alice squealed.

"The dance is this Friday?" Edward asked.

"Yes," Alice huffed, "And Bella and Rosalie are both going."

I outright laughed. So did Edward.

"I don't dance," I said the same time Edward said, "Bella doesn't dance."

I glared at him, daring him to tell _anyone at all_ about the 5th grade fiasco, but he just smirked.

"She will," Alice said menacingly, "And besides, how the hell would you know, Edward?"

_Flashback_

_I was tugging on the pink skirt my mom made me wear for the dance. It was the first and only dance for the 5__th__ graders at Forks Elementary. Jimmy was standing next to me with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking amused and mischievous as he took in the dance hall. Crusty was devouring a finger sandwich, Travis was glaring at his shoes and yanking at the tie his mother made him wear. _

_I was wearing my black Converses, the shoe laces untied. I was also scowling. _

_The ceiling was decorated with yellow and orange streamers and some loud, obnoxious, pop music was blasting through the speakers as my grade danced on the dance floor, the girls in their short jean skirts and leggings and flip flops and tank tops, the boys in their jeans and t-shirts. _

_I wanted to go home. I hated my mom for trying to make me more social._

_Jimmy and Travis were grabbing balloons and untying them, sucking in the helium so that they sounded like munchkins. Crusty traveled back to the food table and I stood by myself with my arms crossed. _

_I saw Edward across the room, talking to his friends and laughing. He was wearing a polo and jeans, sipping on the red punch. _

_I felt someone tap my shoulder a few times. I turned around. Luke, a kind of shy but nice-faced boy with braces was standing there and breathing heavily. I looked around to see if maybe he had gotten the wrong person. _

"_Hey Bella," he said, his face turning purple, "Do you want to dance?"_

_I blinked at him. He looked terrified._

"_Um," I said, "Sureeee…"_

_He grinned and led me awkwardly onto the dance floor. We danced for a little, even more awkwardly, but it was more of a hopping around and singing along with music I didn't know. I was just beginning to enjoy myself when Luke accidentally stepped on my shoelace. I lost my balance and fell backwards, and it was like it all happened in slow motion._

_Luke's face was in shock, everyone gasped and looked at me, and I was falling backwards straight into the-_

_Keerrrrrssspplattt!_

_I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt liquid splash all around me and crunching noises fill my ears._

_I had landed on the food table._

_The room was dead silent as I stood myself up, the chaperones rushing to see if I was okay. I felt the sticky punch on my arms and chips in my hair, but I was livid and beet red with embarrassment. I stood myself up, pulled my arm away from one of the chaperones, marched over to a very shocked Luke, and punched him straight in the gut. _

_End Flashback_

"Experience," I grumbled, "And painful, painful memories."

"It wasn't that bad," Edward said, smiling down at me. I gave him a look of disbelief.

"What happened?" Rosalie asked, looking up at me.

"You don't want to know," I sighed, pointedly looking at Edward, who just laughed.

"In 5th grade," he began, but I pinched his side with my arm.

"Ouch!" he said, rubbing his side, "Why can't I tell them?"

"Basically," I said, ignoring Edward, "I embarrassed myself at a 5th grade dance and ended up punching a boy in the stomach. I've sworn off dancing ever since."

"You've never been to a dance since 5th grade!?" Alice exclaimed.

Well, when you put it that way…

"I've crashed a dance once…" I said, grinning sheepishly.

"7th grade," Edward sighed, nodding, "Her and Jimmy pelted everyone with balloons filled with paint."

Emmett guffawed as Jasper snickered. Alice had her jaw open wide and Rosalie looked shocked.

"Bella? Really?" Rosalie said, laughing, "_Why_?"

"Um, I don't actually remember there ever being a reason," I said, trailing off, "We might have just been bored…"

"We had paint in our hair for weeks," Edward said.

"I wish there were pictures of that," Emmett said.

"Doesn't matter. You're going anyway, Bella," Alice said, her voice stern, "I refuse to let you miss out on high school frivolity."

"I don't dance," I insisted, "I'll go, but I _don't dance_."

"Yeah, well, we'll see about that," Alice said, "I get my way."

"She does," Rosalie said, smirking up at me. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know, Alice, Bella's pretty hardheaded about the whole not-dancing thing," Edward said cautiously, as if warning her I was going to murder her in her sleep.

"I have a plan," Alice said, looking at me in a all-knowing way. It wouldn't have been so bad. But then she flickered her eyes to Edward and my stomach dropped.

She wouldn't.

_I don't like him like that_, I told her with my glaring eyes.

_We'll see_, she responded with hers.

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It was raining and I was ecstatic. Rosalie and Alice were huddled under an umbrella, but I absorbed every bit of rain as possible. I hopped in the muddy puddles in the grass as we made our way to the game. My clothes were soaked through and my sneakers were probably disgusting, but I felt refreshed and clean and free.

The boys had left us about half an hour ago, getting ready to go to their game. By then, I'd ended up with my legs resting on Edward's and my head in Rosalie's lap. Emmett was lying parallel to me, Rosalie's legs on top of his, Alice and Jasper on the bed with Alice snuggled into his side. The conversation has drifted to stupid, random things. Heavy topics about how different we knew things were going to be once this dinner was over. Rosalie had to go back to being a bitch to Emmett. Alice had to go back to being all teeter-tottery with Jasper.

And Edward and I…we went back to our strange little exclusive friendship that confused me and gave me a thrill in my bones at the same time.

And scared me too.

But I couldn't bring myself to let it go.

"Bella Swan, you are going to get so sick and infected and disgusting," Alice called out to me as I skipped across the grass, stopping to raise my arms and stick my tongue out to the rain. In the rain I didn't have to think about any of this shit, and lately, not thinking has been the goal. In the rain, I could pretend I was back in Forks where things made sense.

"One word, Bella," Rosalie called out, "Ringworm!"

I laughed.

We finally go to the bleachers, Rosalie and Alice still nagging me and murmuring their concerns. Alice sat in the middle, glaring at me sternly as she forcefully held the umbrella over both Rosalie and I. Laughing still, we watched as the game started.

Burnswick came out and I was jealous as they ran out into the rain. The opposing team, the Bumblebees from Ratchers, followed, clapping their hands and kicking their soccer balls and swinging their arms. I tried to find Edward through the crowd of jerseys.

I finally saw him juggling a ball on his knees, his hair already soaked and mashed against his face. I smiled involuntarily. Alice nudged me with her elbow and I wiped off the smile immediately.

"Something funny?" Alice asked, smirking.

"Yeah, your face," I deadpanned, my eyes on the field.

"Good one," Rosalie said sarcastically.

I watched other boys, trying to find a cute one amongst the opponents to keep my mind off Edward. No such luck. I was comparing them. You know, to Edward. A sign of the beginnings of infatuation…

No. Stop that. None of them are cute, that's all.

I sighed, aggravated at myself.

After watching them practice for a few minutes, the referee finally blew the whistle to start the game. The bleachers clapped and whooped, Rosalie whistling and Alice screaming, "GO BURNSWICK!"

I decided to try and find Edward again. He was a starter, playing middle field. He was chatting with one of his teammates, slapping his shoulder before getting into position and sending a glance towards the bleachers. My heart pounded. Who was he looking for?

His eyes landed on mine. He grinned and I smiled back, waving.

Rosalie cleared her throat loudly and Alice giggled. I ignored them until Edward's eyes finally left mine. Then I turned to glare at them.

"If I was an assface whenever any of _you_ made goo-goo eyes-" I threatened but Alice shushed me.

"The game is starting, Bella!" she said, laughing because she cut me off.

I mumbled something about not needing to be quiet during a _soccer game_ and crossed my arms like a two year old. The game rumbled on, the bleachers 'awwww'ing whenever Burnswick did something wrong, cursing whenever Burnswick did something really really wrong, and cheering whenever Burnswick did something good.

The cheerleaders bounced around with their pom poms, grinning their cheerleader smiles. Lady Marmalade played during the timeouts, the Raccoon mascot shaking his ass at the crowd, making everyone wolf whistle and crack up. It's sad that our mascot's name was Lady Mimi, short for Lady Marmalade. I was pretty sure it was a boy Raccoon when I first saw it, but I guess there isn't really a way to be sure…

Eventually, Burnswick took the lead and everyone got to their feet, chanting/shouting "voulez vous coucher avec moi," which, you know, probably wasn't entirely appropriate (and I'm pretty sure a quarter of the crowd wasn't sure what they were chanting), but fired us up nonetheless.

Lady Mimi was hip-thrusting down the out-of-bounds line.

We sang, chanted, screamed, and I found myself actually cussing out the other team.

How does that happen?

I laughed at myself, and soon it became border-lining hysterical. Rosalie and Alice gave me queer looks.

"Did you just hear me?" I gasped through my laughter, laughing more at the fact that I was laughing.

"Um, no?" Rosalie said.

"You didn't hear me?" I laughed some more, "I freakin' screamed it."

"What'd you say?" Alice asked, smiling slowly.

"I went, 'FUCK YOU, BUMBLEBEES!'," I laughed, tears almost streaming down my face, "Oh my God, I've fucking lost my mind."

"You said that?" Rosalie laughed.

"At least you've got spirit," Alice said.

"I _screamed_ it," I gasped through my laughter, shaking my head at myself, "Like it was the worst thing in the world to happen to me."

"Oookkayyy," Rosalie said, "Let's take you home."

I shook my head, putting my hand on Alice's shoulder as I doubled over with laughter. I finally got a hold of myself in time to see Emmett head-butt a Bumblebee in the gut.

Maybe we were all going crazy tonight…

Something about chanting crowds and rain and the smell of sweat and mud?

Finally, after a few more 'awwwww's and 'fuck you, Bumblebees', Lady Mimi and her Burnswick Raccoons threw in the towel. We put up a good fight. And after all the school bonding we went through in the past two hours (I high-fived some kid I never spoke to in my life…), I thought maybe there was something more to it than just the game. The wins and losses and all that metaphorical shit.

We walked down the bleachers, Rosalie balancing me as I tried to hop over the slippery metal benches with my soaked sneakers. We were laughing and I was still on my high from the rain, not at all worried about my mood swings because I'd worry about those later when falling asleep tonight. We morphed with the crowd, some people going to the dorms, others to the field, and some other people off to go do unspeakable things behind the trees.

And then I saw Jimmy.

Quil had just patted him on the shoulder, giving me a sad, disappointed look as he walked away. Jacob and Embry were standing a few feet away, gossiping together. Quil met up with them and they all looked at me before turning their backs and walking away.

"I'm…" I said to Alice and Rosalie, whose smiles disappeared when they saw my suddenly solemn face, "I needa talk to Jimmy.."

They looked at Jimmy, giving me worried looks.

"I'll be fine," I said, hugging them before they could protest, "I'll call you later, all right?"

Rosalie kissed me on my cheek and Alice poked me in the ribs, saying their goodbyes and waving as they skipped down the last steps and walked with the scattered crowd towards the dorms.

I made the last steps by myself, careful not to fall. I finally got down to the ground, where Jimmy was staring at his shoes, his hands in his pockets.

"You don't have an umbrella," he mumbled, not looking at me.

"Neither do you," I replied.

He looked up at me, his eyes blank and yet so hurt at the same time. Fuck. I didn't want him hurting, I was just trying to figure this out.

God, Bella, you knew he'd be hurting. You ditched him. And you've avoided this. Take it like a man, at least.

We began walking silently, not really knowing where we were going.

"Where were you the other night?" he asked, not looking at me still.

"With Edward," I said. No use in lying. He didn't look surprised, but he sighed.

"I guessed that…"

I didn't respond.

"He treating you nicely?" he asked. I nodded.

"He's a good guy," I said.

"I know. That's what kills me."

I didn't respond still, knowing the feeling all too well.

"But…I guess I can't keep you from being friends with him just because I'm an insecure bitch with hatred buried inside me for that perfect, pretty boy…"

"If you just-"

"Bella, don't convert me," he sighed. We stopped walking. I looked up at him with a little bit of shock. He looked at his shoes.

"I don't want your knew religion shoved down my throat," he mumbled.

"Edward's _not_ a rel-"

"Group. Posse. Entourage. Whatever."

We were silent. I felt my gut shaking and my jaw trembling. My fingers wanted to punch something but my mind reminded me something about non-violence. Even though I would never direct it towards Jimmy.

I felt the storm coming.

"Is that what this whole thing is about?" I asked in a whisper. Jimmy let out a sharp sigh, hunching his shoulders.

"What have Jacob, Quil, and Embry told you?" I asked louder, "Jimmy, don't listen to that shit. Cliques are cliques and you can't just…just…_follow_ them. Jimmy, please don't…just…please don't…"

I trailed off. Jimmy was looking at his goddamned shoes and I couldn't even put my thoughts into words. My mouth opened and closed, struggling to find words. I felt the storm getting closer.

"I was watching you the other day…" he sighed, "And…I just don't think I could be friends…with your friends…"

"Jimmy, no, don't even say that," I said, shaking my head vehemently, "To hell with them, you don't need to be friends with them to be friends with me. Jimmy…Jimmy, I can't believe this. You're not seriously…fuck. Jimmy…please save the melodramatics."

"Yeah, whatever, I know it's a load of douchebaggery, but _you_ believe it too," Jimmy said, "I know you do somewhere in there."

"Wha-what are you saying?"

"Why else would you have ditched me for them?"

"Because I didn't want to deal with _this_! This little clique system Jacob and co. have ground into your brain."

"And with them you don't have to deal with it?"

I didn't respond, my mouth trying to find the words.

"That's right, you ignore it, because your new friends are at the top," Jimmy said, his eyes angry in a way that I've never seen because Jimmy hardly got angry at all, "You don't need to talk about how you were going to get past the locker room without having the jocks kick your friends and make fun of them because they can't do sports. You don't need to talk about how this girl you like won't talk to you because you're at the _bottom_. You don't want to change anything because hey, you've got it made up there."

"Jimmy. I can't believe you think…why would you….don't even…" I was in shock, my fists clenched. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. I felt the storm on my back.

"Look, Bella, I hate this too. I do. Really," he sighed, softening, "And…I'm not blocking you out. I'm not making you choose between me and them…I'm just…"

He shook his head and cursed under his breath.

"I don't even know what I needed to say," he huffed, "I wanted…I just wanted to tell you…that there is a difference. Even if you try to ignore it, Bella, hanging out with me will get you beat up by the jocks…hanging out with Edward will get you worshipped."

There was silence. I still can't believe he swallowed this hierarchy shit. I was stunned. And I didn't want to believe any of it. I wanted to believe that he was wrong. Everything was wrong.

But the right idea was there…the idea I've been trying to avoid and I knew I'd avoid in the future.

"Are you done?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I can't believe I was losing a friend to this. My cousin.

"We're not friends, then?" I said, trying not to cry.

"Don't say that, Bella."

"I don't understand."

"I'm saying…." he sighed, looking at me sadly, "You don't need to be weighed down….not anymore. I'm not…"

It didn't sound like he understood either. But something was there. And we both hated it. And I wanted to go back to Forks.

He walked away without a goodbye, leaving me standing there.

The thing that was hilarious was that neither of us could solve anything: I go on ignoring everything, Jimmy goes on freaking out about things he couldn't place a finger on.

The thing that was even more hilarious was that the storm was already here.

It's been here.

It's been raining.

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My mood swings were giving me a headache. One minute I'm on the bleachers laughing my guts out at my own retarded laughter, and the next I'm sitting under the bleachers with my knees tucked to my chest and my self-pity choking me. The patheticness was almost as overwhelming as the strangeness.

Under the bleachers? Really? I was surprised I didn't find any horny teenagers getting hot n' heavy under here.

I sighed. I just needed to clear my mind. Forget everything Jimmy said and move on. Because Jimmy is wrong. He's wrong. Right? Right. Okay. So you can just get up now, Bella.

I couldn't move. But I wouldn't cry. I don't cry over stupid shit like this.

_Is it that stupid?_

Yes. God.

_Then why do you want to cry?_

….it's just _that_ stupid.

I could see my internal-conscience-self-thing giving me a disbelieving look.

Sigh. My sanity is slowly slipping away. How much longer until graduation?

"Bella?"

"Nope," I said, sighing, hoping whoever it was would leave me alone. I couldn't hear the voice very well over the pitter-patter of the rain on the metal bleachers, and there was no way I was going to explain myself to some voice I couldn't recognize.

I rubbed my eyes and brushed my muddy hands on my skirt. I'd have to get up soon. Quit moping and take it like a man. Go back to Rosalie and Alice like I just went running in the rain. Maybe I'd be okay enough to make it believable. I hated myself for hiding this….but I've never been one to take the high, compassionate, share-your-feelings road. You never get anywhere on the road.

Nowhere but heartache….or so I've heard. I don't know, I've never been on that road.

Suddenly I felt someone sitting next to me and jumped, turned, and prepared to beat off a rapist.

It was Edward. He was still in his uniform and his face was all worried and damp with rain.

To say I didn't want to talk to him would be true and false at the same time. Half-and-half, maybe? Or, more likely, one of those simultaneous emotions I seem to love to be sporting these days.

"You're sitting under the bleachers," he said, "And you don't have an umbrella."

I didn't answer, picking at my shoelaces.

"I saw you walk off with Jimmy…"

I let my breath come out in sharp sigh, rubbing my eyes again. This I didn't want to talk about. Can we talk about how Lady Mimi is a transsexual raccoon?

"Bella?"

I wanted to say "Nope" again, but he already figured out it was me here all along.

"I ditched him the other day," I grumbled, still not looking at Edward. He didn't say anything.

"Why?" he asked finally.

"To hang out with you."

"Me?"

I nodded mutely. He sighed and I cringed, not wanting to look at him. I was embarrassed for admitting it.

"Is he mad?"

"Good question," I responded blankly.

I felt teary again. I didn't want him to be mad. Edward was silent still.

"Edward, are we friends now?" I asked him, finally looking at him as my voice cracked with the tears welling up. Edward's blank face softened a little.

"I'd say so," he said, perplexed, "Why?"

I let out a quiet laugh without humor. A laugh at my patheticness.

"Because…" I said, letting out a shaky sigh as I held back the tears, "I feel like for the past few weeks….I've been losing all of mine."

I swiped at my eyes but Edward grabbed my hand. He brought our clasped hands to my face, brushing his knuckles across my cheek before looking me in the eyes. I held back the sob.

"What do you want me to say?" he whispered, "Shit, Bella, it's killing me seeing you like this."

I looked at our knees that were touching and tried to calm myself down from this ridiculous mood swing.

"Tell me Lady Mimi is a transsexual," I mumbled and we shared quiet laughter. Then we got serious again.

"Look, Bella, I know everything is…a mess," he said, finding the words with a slight frown on his face, "And hell if I know how to fix any of it. If _anyone_ knows how."

I looked down because his concern was making something churn in my gut. He nudged my knee with his and I looked up at him again. He was going to say something. But he stopped.

I saw it in his eyes. The dependency. We both needed each other, and maybe not in the sexual way. For reasons…well, reasons we didn't get…we needed this strange little unconventional friendship. Didn't we want to kill each other a few days ago? Maybe it had to do with the hormones or the stress or just the spell of Burnswick in general.

I squeezed his hand, he squeezed mine, I resisted the urge to kiss his damp lips and run my hands through his dripping hair, and we stared up at the rain clouds, wondering when it'll pass.

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**I hope I captured this enough: everyone is confused. Everyone is moody and on internal, emotional roller coasters. Make sense?**

**Well, as much as it can, I guess. Anyway, that's just my explanation in case you all review and are like 'what the hell is up with yer freakazoid characters? Are they on crack?'**

**So anyway, it's my favorite part of teenage angst. It doesn't seem real if it makes sense, you know? Because teenagers are still in that figuring-out-who-I-am thing, and they don't really know yet. **

**That's my take, at least.**

**Been a hectic week. Computer crashed and all…sigh…reviews will make my headache go away!**


	11. Touch My Boobies

**.**

**Disclaimer: alksdjhf*&^#&*^alksdjfhla029845987!&^$)#%*kjsdfh. Sorry. I freaked out because I thought Twilight was mine for a second. Excuse me while I go cry because it's not…**

**A/N: This one's a bit o' fun with a bit o' metaphors and high school sleeping habits. **

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**BPOV**

I sat with my legs crossed, leaning on my hands that were braced behind me, as I watched Jasper do his thing and paint this absolute _masterpiece_ before my eyes. I was sitting on one of the art table's in Jasper's personal studio here on campus. That's right, _personal_. Apparently he was some sort of art prodigy and the school's art department allowed him to basically have his own little room.

And they weren't kidding around with this stuff. Jasper was the shit.

Low opera music was playing out of the radio on the windowsill, but don't be fooled, because a few minutes ago it was Lil Wayne, then Hilary Duff (no, I'm not kidding), and then some women pianist I had never heard of, then some Fergie, then Def Leppard, Framing Hanely, Panic! At The Disco, Ludo, Ingrid Michaelson, and finally Andrea Bocelli followed by some unidentifiable opera music.

The windows were wide open and Jasper's shirt was un-tucked and already paint-stained, as most of his shirts were, and there was some blue paint in his hair too. His sleeves were rolled and he had paint all over his hands, but the giant canvas in front of him was something out a beautiful acid-trip.

Cue radio changing to Heaven Help Us by My Chemical Romance.

The painting was of two people with their backs face us, the boy on the left with limp, feathery, beautiful black wings coming out of his back and hole-y jeans. The girl on the right in a dirty, crumpled wedding dress, her face tipped towards the boy and mascara running down the side of the cheek exposed to the viewer. They were holding hands, bright colors and various shapes and gorgeous paint strokes enveloping them in a sort of haze. The wrinkles on their clothes and the details made it look so real and heartbreaking and powerful.

Cue radio changing to Take A Bow by Rihanna.

Jasper turned around, wiping his hands on a ratty white towel and his face sheepish.

"I don't usually paint these subjects…so don't go tattle," he said, laughing nervously as he looked at his hands.

"Tattling!? Jasper, this is amazing!" I gushed.

"Thanks," he shrugged putting a paintbrush behind his ear and coming to stand next to me with his arms crossed and his head cocked as he examined it, "But it's not really what I normally do…just, you know, inspiration hit me."

"What do you usually paint?"

"Landscapes, still-lives, portraits. You know, the generic stuff."

He trailed off, walking over and smudging some detail on the girl's wedding dress. He stepped back, his head cocking again as Rihanna crooned.

"Do you always paint with erratic music choices?" I asked as wind from the open window blew through the studio, making a nice, calming breeze.

"Hm?" he asked, turning to me and running a painted hand through his hair, which got at least three different colors in his hair.

"Ah, shit," he said, looking down at his hands, "Jasper Whitlock, you never learn."

I laughed, running over to the sink and wetting a clean towel for him. He shook his head, laughing.

"Thanks, Bella, but I'm going to take a shower anyway."

"You're going to walk around campus like that until then?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and chucking the wet towel into the sink.

"Duh. Doesn't it make me look cool?" he teased, striking a fake pose with his hand on his hip.

"Well, it does match your shirt…and pants…and hands…"

"Eh. I'll get over it."

"Anyway, what I asked before you punk-ified your hair was if you always painted with such widely-varying music choices," I asked, hopping back on the table.

"Generally. It keeps the mood of the painting from becoming too flat."

"But, really, Hilary Duff…?"

He gave me a warning look, pointing his finger at me in a way that said, 'don't you dare make fun of Hilary.'

"You ask too many questions, Bella," he said, shaking his head, "Painting isn't about any of that stuff. You just let go and paint the damn thing without worrying about shit like 'good music' or 'bad music' or location or whatever is going on outside of your studio. There isn't really a line between it all, anyway."

"Yeah, well, I disagree," I said, rolling my eyes, "Lines are everywhere. And people cross them."

"That's what they're made for."

I gave him an exasperated look and he just laughed in response.

"How are you so lax, Jasper?"

"Was that another question I just heard?"

"No but honestly, how are you not…high strung like the rest of us?"

"Wanna know my secret?" he asked, leaning towards me like he was disclosing the place where Osama Bin Laden was hiding.

"Sure. Throw it at me."

He leaned in closely, glancing over his shoulder for extra dramatic effect and whispered, "I listen to Hilary Duff."

"Hardy har har," I said, shoving his shoulder.

"So can I ask you a question now?"

"Fine," I said, cringing out of worry.

"What's up with you and ol' Eddie these days?"

"Ol' Eddie and I are two amigos," I said, picking at my nails and carefully inspecting them, "Why do you ask?"

"Friends?"

"That's generally what 'amigos' means."

"You weren't a few weeks ago?"

"Like…a week and a half ago."

"He's growing on you, then?"

"He's a good friend," I said, shrugging and pushing that little thought about dependency away from my mind. I was done thinking about that. In fact, I thought virtually nothing about things Edward's and mine relationship. It was just…there…and no one could really explain it.

We hadn't talked about my little breakdown, but we did Google the sexuality of raccoons and if they could surgically change their genders. We did talk multiple times for the past few days, about nothing and yet everything in the most clichéd meaning of it all, spending time at the library or on campus 'working on our Bio project'.

Now we were in trouble, though, because the Bio project was finished, what will all our extra time and our pretending that we weren't too fond of this budding relationship. But we were fond of it. We talked, laughed, and the beauty of it was that we never actually _had_ to talk about any of the serious stuff. Was that bad?

Did it matter?

Maybe.

That's why I came to sit watch Jasper paint. To not think. Or think. Or something.

There was something rather relaxing about it, watching something amazing appear out of nowhere on the canvas, the windows open, the radio playing, and the ever-haunting next period Literature class a distant feeling. Plus, he didn't say much when he painted. Cursed a little when he thought he messed up, and then talked when he stepped back to look at his progress.

He was chill. Truly. And he had a vibe that kind of balanced out Alice's jitteriness, as much as I hate to admit the cliché.

"Oh boy," Jasper sighed, shaking his head as he broke me out of my thoughts. I looked up from my nails and giving him a puzzled look.

"You're freaking out about it, aren't you?" he asked, making me cringe at the accuracy.

"Well, I wouldn't say _freaking out_, per se," I said, huffing, "But…"

"You're worried."

"I mean…sorta. Wouldn't you be?"

"If a friendship bloomed out of 'nothing'," he said, putting air quotes around 'nothing', "and then suddenly it became super important in my life?"

I shrugged, glancing at my nails again and then playing with the laces on my sneakers because I wasn't ready to admit it was super important and super strange and super it-might-disappear-tomorrow-because-it-came-so-quickly. I looked up at him, and he was shaking his head again as if disappointed in me. His expression was lax again, his eyebrows raised and calm.

"I could paint a stupid picture of a bowl of fruits for days on end, building up the colors and adding all the shadows like you're 'supposed' to do," he said calmly, glancing at his painting now, "But it would never be as good as what I just painted in a little two hours."

I looked at the painting and then back at my laces.

"Was that a metaphor?" I mumbled after a moment, hating how right he was as I glared at my shoelaces. He laughed, though, and I felt him suddenly sitting next to me on the table.

"You ask a lot of questions, you worry a lot, and you're freaking out about something good for you, for both of you, just because things don't fall in step with the friendship trends," he stated, now chewing on the end of his paintbrush, "Obviously, you needed the metaphor."

I sighed, squinting one eye at him as he smiled slowly.

"Relax," he chuckled, "For once."

"I'm relaxed," I protested in another mumble.

"Yeah, well, you try to be. And you are, I think, when you're around him…but then you freak out later because you're worried you're doing something wrong."

I mulled this over. Then I spoke again.

"Are you going to be a psychiatrist?"

"Are you asking that because I'm right?"

"Perhaps. More likely because you're shrink-ing me right now."

"I'm just telling you what I know," he laughed, shrugging, "And you better take advantage of that because the only time I barely make any sense is if I've got paint in my hair and a brush in my hand."

"Well, then I'll be back tomorrow once I've officially lost my mind."

"Okay. I'll be here."

We looked at the painting, me wondering why he's got Kid Cudi playing on the radio but too hesitant to ask because Kid Cudi sang Alice's favorite song and they were such a perfect fit it kind of hurt to see them not together.

"So you're going to be a painter, then?" I asked, looking up at him. He smirked, looking down at me.

"I'll paint," he said, hopping off the table, making his way over to the dark angel on his painting, and trailing off into a mumble, "Or I'll die trying."

Hm. Another metaphor, perhaps?

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Edward and I were playing tic-tac-toe on the back of his History homework. We were sitting on the grass outside, under the shade of a tree where I could see the tree Jimmy and I sat under on one of our first days here. See the spot where I met Jacob and Embry and hadn't yet lost my mind. Or Jimmy. Where I still had that spitfire to keep me away from Edward.

Maybe my subconscious was telling me to stay away from Edward all this time because it_ knew_ I was going to get attached and it _knew_ how I hated that feeling even though I didn't do much to keep the feeling from coming again and again. First with Travis and Crusty. Then with Forks. Then with Jimmy. And I only seem to notice the feeling once they're gone and the string that attached me to them is groping at nothing.

So now, was I attached?

_Relax. For once._

I tucked my legs to my side and leaned against the tree. Edward was looking at me, his knees bent with the soles of his shoes flat on the grass and his elbows resting on the tops of his knees. Wind blew and swept up his bronze hair, but I squirmed under his stare.

"What?" I asked, looking anywhere but his eyes.

"It's your turn."

"Oh," I said, laughing at myself as I snatched the pen from his hand. I looked at the scrawled tic-tac-toe games across his homework in blue pen. Games I won, games he won, games we tied, and then the game we were playing right now. Why was today so full of metaphors?

_I blame you, Jasper, and your artsy painter's vibe that sunk through my skin_.

I frowned at his little X's, trying to figure out his game plan and way over thinking things because I'd rather think about X's and O's than what Jasper told me not to think about.

I sighed and out of my peripheral vision, Edward rolled his eyes. I laughed and looked up at him.

"Am I taking too long?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied bluntly. I shrugged, not apologizing, and he smirked.

I wished it was sunny today. Something different and drastic enough to make this week turn around.

"Are you going to the dance tomorrow?"

Okay, not that kind of turn-around.

"Edward, I'm trying to focus here," I said, avoiding the topic.

"And you're doing a wonderful job, but I thought since we'd be here for a few years, what with you focusing and all, I'd try to make use of the time."

I sighed again, finally marking my 'O' and handing him the pen with a, I-can't-believe-you're-asking-that-question look.

"So, no?" he asked, taking the pen and glancing at the tic-tac-toe board.

"It's tomorrow," I half-mumbled to myself like a mentally retarded person.

"You don't have to go."

"Alice," I said, a one word answer that was sufficient.

"Oh," Edward responded, writing his 'X' and handing me back the pen.

"Are you going?" I asked, quickly writing an 'O' to block his attempt at a diagonal-win.

"If I must," he sighed, smirking up at me, "Someone's gotta bandage up the people you beat up."

"Oh, you're too funny," I quipped dryly and sarcastically, shoving the pen at him. He snatched it away in the same manner, crossing his eyes at me as I stuck out my tongue.

We laughed at our immaturity and our refusal to grow up from 2nd grade tradition.

But our making faces at each other made my heart swell in a weird way. I leaned my shoulder on his because I wanted to and he was comfortable, and we leaned our backs against the trunk of the wide-tree together. He had the tic-tac-toe board on his lap, the papers fluttering in the breeze, and he leaned his shoulder back against mine.

He smelled warm, musky, fresh, clean, and we sat there as he tapped the pen against the paper. He was trying to figure it out, too, but clearly, we were at a draw.

"I think we tied," he said, marking his last 'O'.

"I think you're right," I said, marking my last 'X' and glancing at him as he glanced at me.

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Somehow after Bio class, around 5:17 in the afternoon, I ended up in his arms, dead asleep in Jasper and Emmett's room with Rosalie's head on my legs and Jasper's head on her stomach. I was lying in Edward's arms and the four of us were on the floor, even though there were two perfectly good beds on either side of us.

I snapped my head up, looking at the clock and trying to remember how I got here. Then I remembered meeting up with Jasper and Rosalie who just got out of math class, going to their room and drinking like six cans of soda, chatting for about two hours before crashing and falling dead asleep.

Hm. I was snuggly and comfortable, and by the looks of it, so were my three sleeping companions.

Ah the sleep habits of teenagers. I was going to miss being able to fall asleep anywhere when I finally grew out of them…

I moved my jaw around because it was asleep from lying on Edward's warm, comfortable chest. Then I snuggled back into his arms. He was lying on his side, Rosalie's legs on top of his, and his mouth was slightly open. I was using his arm as a pillow, and once I laid back down, his arms tightened around me. I smiled lazily, holding myself close to him because hey, we were friends, and I was comfortable.

Rosalie's arms wrapped around my thigh and I felt Jasper's legs rest on my ankles.

You know, this might be weird if we were normal.

I was finally drifting off back into sleep when I looked up and saw Edward's half-closed lids peering down at me. I smiled at him and he grinned sleepily, picking up his free hand to rub his eyes.

"Morning sunshine," I teased, glad he hadn't moved one inch away from me now that he was awake. He yawned, blinking his eyes and lifting his head a little to look at Rosalie and Jasper, who were blissfully snoring lightly.

"We fell asleep," he mumbled, closing his eyes and nuzzling his head to the ground, delightfully dropping his arm around my waist in a tired (not sensual) way. A snuggly way.

"On the ground," he continued, his eyes still closed and his voice still sleepy. I laughed in a whisper. He sighed, holding me closer and I wanted to put my arms around his neck and never let go.

Wait, whaattttttt, was that Bella?

Err. Nothing?

Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends. Friends.

_Relax. For once_.

And I did, feeling Edward's breath steady again and pressed my temple against his heartbeat.

You know, I'm really glad we're not normal.

Then the door slammed open, making me jump and making Edward groaned and curse, taking his arm off my waist to cover his eyes from the light from the hallway. Had we turned off the lights in the room before we went to sleep?

"Goddamnit, Emmett," I heard Jasper ground, feeling the two other bodies shift around.

"Jesus, _there_ you two are," Alice giggled, "I told you they'd be in here, Emmett."

"Turn off the lights," I heard Rosalie whine.

"Were you four having an orgy or something?" Emmett asked. I heard the door shut and the lights switch on. We all groaned, me hiding my face in the crook of Edward's arm.

"There are soda cans everywhere!" Alice exclaimed, "This place is filthy!"

"So, it was like a cult thing? Like the Kool-aid thing?" Emmett went on, ignoring Alice.

"Do we look dead?" Jasper's muffled voice murmured.

"You don't want me to answer that question," Emmett responded too-loudly with a guffaw.

"Yeesh, you must have been really tired," Alice diagnosed.

"Sugar crash," Edward mumbled, his arm around my waist again as Emmett and Alice 'ooohhh'd in understanding.

"Oh, Emmett, look how adorable they all look," Alice gushed in a quieter voice. I glanced up at Edward, who was rolling his eyes now and rubbing his eyes with his fist.

"Yeah, looks like one helluva cat nap," Emmett responded.

"It was," Rosalie response replied in a mumble, "Until a buffoon and a pixie interrupted it."

"Oh sorry for disturbing your slumber, were you dreaming about me, Rosie?" Emmett teased.

"When I get up, I hope you know that I'm kicking you in the balls," Rosalie responded dryly in the same tired mumble.

"Well, when _are_ you guys going to get up?" Alice huffed, "We can't just sit here and watch you sleep!"

"You can join us if you shut up," Jasper responded in a muffled voice. I smirked because Alice couldn't pass up that offer.

"No," Edward groaned, "Emmett smells like toe fungi."

"Yeah, because I'm going to go over and cuddle with your ugly face," Emmett said, chucking something plastic at Edward's head. Edward chucked it back.

"Besides, Bella seems to got you covered," he said, laughing at his quite literal joke. I looked up at Edward to see him smirking at me. I responded with a laugh and held our close-ness despite Emmett making fun of me.

"Okay, okay, we'll nap for a little, but I'm setting my phone alarm because our dorm advisor is coming at like 10 o'clock to make sure we're in our own rooms."

We all made acknowledging noises at her and then I felt people moving around. Jasper's leg's shifted on mine and I felt Alice's join his, resting on my calves. Rosalie mumbled something, moving around as Emmett's hushed laughter followed. Somehow, we all got settled and slipped into our quiet, teenager slumber. Comfortable, snuggly…

All our limbs were going to be tingly once we were done.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Angela was asleep when I got into our room, after having one of the best cat naps of my life. I tried to ignore the fact that maybe-quite-possibly it was because of a certain green-eyed boy holding me. Rosalie, Alice, and I had left the three boys in their groggy states, giggling about what would happen when they all woke and found themselves sleeping on each other instead of us girls.

The lights weren't off, but Angela was dead asleep with her face flat on her pillow. I guess everyone was feeling the drowsiness today. Soon enough, our dorm advisor checked on us and bid us goodnight, rather, bid _me_ goodnight because Angela was a dead woman. I actually did go check to see if she had a pulse. And she did, but it was beating as slow as the footsteps of a turtle.

And I was jealous. Because now it was dark and I was awake and all jittery from leaving Edward's arms. For some reason. A good reason. That I couldn't figure out.

I sighed and snatched my laptop from the desk, plopping down on my bed and signing onto my instant messenger. I mean, I didn't expect anyone to be on, but maybe I could flitter away my time by bugging one of those stupid robot-buddies.

Wow, I have no life.

I ended up sizing and resizing the pictures for my History project that I had almost finished. School work here was harder than in Forks, but that's not saying much. And I was doing okay from just cruising along. A few minutes of looking for too long at Napoleon's tiny ass, I decided to rewrite an English paper I had already handed in, adding stuff about aliens and fish with bear paws and Heron's Formula and killer kittens. After a few more minutes, I actually wished I had homework to do.

Then an instant message popped up:

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: what are you still doing up?**

Touch my boobies? What in the…

_**allswannedup**_**3: who is this…?**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: Elliot Spitzer. Wait…this isn't Miss Spritzy Firecracker from Oklahoma?**

Initially, I freaked out because of all those stories they told us about creeper-cyber stalkers. Then I got suspicious, because there was no way even _Elliot Spitzer_ had a douche-tastic screen name like 'touch my boobies'. This sounded more like a 17 year old boy…like an immature 17 year old boy named Emmett…but Emmett would never ruin his own social life with a screen name like that and so, he probably took advantage of his less social best friend who probably never went on his computer except to do homework…

_**allswannedup3**_**: okay, how did you get my screen name, Edward?**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: funny, I thought your question would be 'what the hell are you doing with a trashy screen name?'**

_**allswannedup3**_**: whatever. I always knew you had moobs.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: ignoring, ignoring. Emmett gave the screen name to me. It was either that or 'lickvaginaMINE69'. And I got your screen name off your facebook page. Because I'm a stalker.**

_**allswannedup3**_**: I'll overlook it. But now I understand why you're never online.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: I blame him for any future social retardation symptoms I possess. Anyway, let's not talk about that, you still haven't told me why you're up.**

_**allswannedup3**_**: uhhh, I had a thuper duper cat nap and no longer have the need to sleep? You?**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: I woke up with my nose pressed against Jasper's back.**

_**allswannedup3**_**: ohhhh. Got it.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: yes. What followed was quite an unfortunate emotional breakdown as well as a crying episode.**

_**allswannedup3**_**: oh, you men and you're sexuality issues.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: I don't have an issue with sexuality. Have you seen my screen name?**

_**allswannedup3**_**: yeah, I'm still laughing at it…just so you know.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: I guessed as much. **

_**allswannedup3**_**: guess what I did for the past half an hour!**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: should I get a helmet and shin-guards for this one?**

_**allswannedup3**_**: I wrote a paper on aliens and mutant fish and man-eating kittens!**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: ………**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: night, Bella!**

_**allswannedup3**_**: hahaha, no wait! Ha, I wish I could tell you I was kidding.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: uh huh. **

_**allswannedup3**_**: but I'm totally not…. don't leave me!**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: you're not tired yet?**

_**allswannedup3**_**: nope. And I don't care if I'm keeping you up.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: well, then it's a good thing I'm not tired.**

_**allswannedup3**_**: good.**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: now what?**

_**allswannedup3**_**: sing me to sleep?**

_**touchmyboobies901**_**: yeah, but the singing will sound remotely like the incessant sound of 'New IM!' popping up on your screen over and over again as I sing you the lyrics…**

I smiled in the darkness, the glow from the computer the only light shining on my face. The smile was permanent as long as he was still making me laugh. And it was a good feeling. A 'screw you, high school and all your drama' kind of feeling.

hah.

Boobies.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**Heehee. That was just a bit of fun because I'm in a loopy mood. Also, I'm surprised at the lack of conversation-through-technology there is in some high school fics. So, there's yer average-high school-conversation…except not really.**

**Anyway, I PROMISE and EPOV is coming for those of you that asked for one. I just needed to get Bella somewhat settled before tossing Eddie's angstyness in there. **

**Lastly, for those of you that don't know, Elliot Spitzer was Governor in New York(resigned on March 17****th****) who was caught up in a prostitution ring scandal. Yes, I do have a sick sense of humor and yes I still think it's appropriate to make fun of him. Sorry.**

**I feel like I had something else to say….**

**I love you all for being amazing readers? That seems right…but…**

**Oh! Review and tell me some funny suggestions for future screen names for Emmett/Jasper/whoever. Or you could just review for the sake of reviewing, **_**or**_** tell me what you think of Edward and Bella's screen names. Or just…you know, spazz out on the review. Any review makes me smile (except all them HATERS on reviews. those don't make me smile)**


	12. Knee Sock Season

**.**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**A/N: LONG CHAPTER AHEAD!**

**yeah. and it's kindof crazy too so….use the barf bags provided if you get motion sickness.**

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**EPOV**

Knee socks.

I thought made me swallow as I watched a few girls walk across the campus outside the dorms, clad in their knee socks. I adjusted the strap of my bag as both Emmett and Jasper let out a sigh that mirrored my thoughts.

It was Knee Sock Season.

"Ready, m'boys?" Emmett asked, slapping both Jasper and me on the back.

"NO!" was what I wanted to scream, but instead I let out an acknowledging, rather undecided, grunt. Knee Sock Season meant, well knee socks, as well as a notorious rise in horny hormone level amongst us guys. It also meant a string of dances, which didn't really help with the hormone level, as well as a shit load of drama.

I was not ready. Please, oh please, spare me.

Just when I got things were going fine with Bella and I. Fine, as in, we were comfortable, happy, laughing, cheery, and I really thought we were becoming close friends. Sure, we talked about…nothing of importance, actually, but that didn't worry me. Who said what dictated a 'friendship' anyway? I trusted her, she trusted me, we had fun, and the rest didn't matter.

So, I was happy. Marginally. But that was okay for now.

But, Knee Sock Season was here, and that was going to throw me a curveball as well as stab me in the back of my legs. I could just feel it. Knee Sock Season never failed to disappoint.

I made it to English in a dumb haze, the cowardly kind that made my thoughts reel and my expression look like I was either mentally retarded or really, really interested in my shoes.

Emmett was talking. Whatever. I ignored that, walking into the room and feeling that familiar relief I got at seeing Bella. Which was at first strange to me, but now I welcomed the feeling with open arms. I grinned involuntarily and she looked up, grinning as well.

Then she crossed her legs.

And I caught a flash of pure, unadulterated knee sock.

My heart pounded and I felt the hormones rush to my head and nether regions. Or was that the blood? Whichever, it made me dizzy.

My mind rolled back to that time Rosalie was on top of Bella and they were laughing and Bella was all red faced…

I shook out of it, walking over to sit down as quickly as possible. I sat next to Bella, slamming my books on my desk and trying not to look at her knee socks. My heart thrummed. My fingers twitched. I finally got some kind of hold on myself, forcing a tight smile as I looked over at her.

She was raising her eyebrows, her elbows on her desk.

"Are you okay?" she asked, "You look a little flushed."

My hormone-driven eyes roamed over her body, feeling scandalous and disgusting, but at the same time intrigued and curious. She was wearing a pale-green button down shirt with a few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up, her silver necklace dangling in between her cleavage. To most, it might look conservative and casual, but to me…to me, it made me all shifty and flustered.

My eyes travelled down her legs, my breath caught in my throat when I looked at her thin black knee-socks, going up to her knees. One was slipping a little, resting slightly down her calf, but both were enough to make me want to smash my head against the desk and groan.

I quickly averted my eyes, shutting them momentarily and looking at the board.

"I'm fine," I said maybe somewhat shakily, "A little sleep deprived."

"What time did you go to sleep?"

"Not long after you signed off."

"Oh…" she said, looking conflicted.

"I know, I know," I laughed, "You'd say you're sorry, but you're not."

"That's about right," she replied, laughing back and I looked over at her with a smile.

_You will not ruin this friendship over Knee Sock Season. _

_You will not ruin this friendship over Knee Sock Season._

_You will not ruin it. Because it hasn't even begun yet. Not really._

I glanced back at the board once the teacher walked in, but the more mushy, nagging part of me replied,

_But neither has the more-than-friendship. Not really._

"The dance is tonight," Bella whispered to me as the teacher began talking, continuing as if the teacher hadn't even walked in.

"So you're going?" I asked back in a whisper as well.

"Yeah, I guess I don't have a choice. Are you?"

"I have as much of a choice as you do."

"Are you getting dressed up?" Bella asked, her voice teasing. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I picked out my clown shoes and red nose especially for tonight."

"Good, because I'm going as the bearded lady."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**BPOV**

Okay, I'm not too proud to admit this:

I'd been whipped into submission.

Yes, I know, it'll give me a few sleepless nights and possibly a few regrets, but it was true. I was sitting silently, without complaints, my hands on my lap and my lips pursed in an 'I promise not to talk, but I'm disapproving' way.

Alice and Rosalie were prepping me for the dance. And eventually, after all the hair pulling and fist fights and spitting, I finally gave in. Actually, it was mostly just the hair pulling, more specifically, _my_ hair pulling. They gave up with the fancy curls, eventually, the same time I gave up with trying to protest. So I started focusing on the positives.

1. There would be free food.

2. Er….streamers?

3. The opposite sex

4. Music, though the quality of it was highly questionable

5. Edward? Was that a positive?

I thought about how we talked online for four hours until I finally fell asleep and got a total of 5 hours of sleep (minus the cat nap). I thought about sleeping on his chest and laughing with him until my sides hurt. I thought about relaxing, for once, and decided that maybe he was a positive.

And the thought made me smile.

"What are you smiling at?" Rosalie inquired as she casually adjusted my hair.

"What?"

"You were smiling," Alice said, grinning knowingly at me. I glared at her in the mirror.

"I don't remember."

"Uh huh," Rosalie laughed. They dropped it, thankfully, before ordering me to go get dressed.

I was stepping into the dark blue contraption in the bathroom, sighing and being all huffy because the tomboy inside of me was groaning in pain.

"Why do we even have this random dance here?" I called out through the half-closed bathroom door, "Isn't there like a Halloween dance next week?"

"That's the _festival_, Bella," Alice sighed as if it was obvious, "The Halloween _Festival_."

"Fine," I mumbled to myself, "God, I didn't know there was a difference between the two."

"I heard that!" Alice called out, "And there _is_ a difference. A dance has partying and punch from a red bowl, a festival has carnival activities and cheap inflatable rides. Now quit yapping and get your dress on."

I obliged, pulling on the dark blue dress. It had a v-neck but had straps the width of two of my fingers. It went over my hips in a tight way that Rosalie said looked hot, but I was a little self conscious about, and ended snugly around mid thigh, about three inches above my knee. I wore a black belt around my waist, which Alice said accentuated my figure but, whatever, I'm just wearing the damn thing and running out of that gym the second the music stops.

I sighed as I looked in the mirror, realizing it looked nothing like the bearded lady get up I hoped I would wear. Edward would be so disappointed. I smiled at the thought, walking out of the bathroom.

Alice and Rosalie squealed, chattering on as I complimented their outfits as well with the appropriate enthusiasm. I couldn't really use all those fashion-savvy terms they used, but I know they looked good. Alice was wearing a pale yellow, strapless dress that went down to her knees and bright red pumps. Rosalie was wearing a bright red, one shoulder dress and metallic gold heels. They looked like show stoppers, enough to make me tug awkwardly at the belt around my waist.

I remembered shoes with a cringe just as Alice handed me some shiny black pumps. I looked at them for a second before looking back up at Alice with a deadpan expression.

"I knew this was a planned murder all along," I said as Alice rolled her eyes.

"C'mon, Bella, they totally work with the outfit. Don't they, Rose? Tell her how good they would look, Rose," Alice said, being all jittery and huffy as she slapped Rose on the arm to get her attention.

"Yes, definitely," Rosalie nodded eagerly, "Trust me, Edward will fall to his knees when he sees you."

It took me a second to process that. Then my brain immediately and vehemently resented Rosalie's comment.

"What? What are you-" I gaped after a moment, choking on air, "Edward doesn't-"

"Rosalie, don't even go down that path," Alice said, waving it off as she rummaged through her makeup bag, "We don't have time to argue with this one. Makeup must be applied."

Rosalie gave me a last look that said, 'trust me, I'm always right'.

"For your information," I huffed, not dropping it, "He was acting rather weird today, so he clearly-"

"Weird how?" Rosalie interrupted with a smirk.

"Like, he was all red-faced and avoiding looking at me, and-"

"Oh shit, of course he was!" Rosalie said, laughing and smacking her forehead with her palm, "You wore knee socks today!"

Alice snapped her head up, her expression filled with understanding as she laughed along with Rose about their private knee sock joke.

"It _is_ Knee Sock Season, isn't it?" Alice said, grinning and turning to my confused look, "It's the horniest season for the guys and, coincidentally, all the girls wear knee socks because winter is coming. Most of us wear it because it's just warmer, but you know how guys are."

"Them and their school girl fantasies," Rosalie sighed, grinning slyly at me before frowning at some deadly make-up tool.

My heart dropped in the adrenaline way that occurred whenever you went on a roller coaster or fell off a building. Could that really be the reason Edward was acting kind of off today? And it wasn't just because of his lack of sleep? It was because….he had feelings for me?

Well, maybe some hormonal teenage feelings?

A pitiful part of me reminded me of that time, a time which I've avoided thinking about, where I thought _I_ had found some miniscule feelings for Edward. But they were just miniscule, right?

"Whatever," I sighed, "Let's just get this over with."

I snatched the heels/death contraptions from Alice's bed and she clapped excitedly.

"That's the spirit!" Rosalie cheered. I glared at her and she stuck her tongue out at me.

After an hour or so of prodding and prepping and growing a new fear of all pointy objects that girls were supposed to use to stab their eyes out with, we were 'ready as we'll ever be,' as Alice the perfectionist so eloquently put it. My hair, makeup, clothes, and overall appearance was beat into submission, though my mind was reeling rather nervously now as I looked in the mirror.

The girl blinked back at me, looking too innocent in this dress. Naïve, even. I frowned, and the girl frowned back. It was a little bit better, looking fiercer with the frown…or more constipated.

Her hair was done in a sloppy-but-on-purpose pony tail, falling over my shoulder. There were 'casual curls' (Rosalie's term) in her hair, some falling out of the pony tail to frame her face. She looked like a debutante and, maybe, a girl trying too hard.

I sighed. Again.

"Bella, come on, you look _gorgeous_," Rosalie said, "Stop freaking out and get your ass out the door."

"Wait! Camera!" Alice chirped, running to get her camera. I looked over at Rosalie, who was standing at the door with her hands on her hips in an impatient way.

"If I have an mental breakdown…" I said, sighing and looking at her in a frightened way.

"We'll be sure to find the alcohol right away," she said immediately with a definite nod and an encouraging smile as she wrapped an arm around my waist. I laughed and I heard Alice call, "That's the spirit!" as she walked back from her closet, shoving a digital camera in her purse.

"Okay," I said, closing my eyes and mentally preparing myself as I took a deep breath, "Let's go."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The music thudded and the lights were dimmed. The gym doors were wide open and practically the whole school was crammed in there. Streamers hung from the ceiling, as expected, and some tacky disco lights shined over the floor. I felt bile in my throat and remembered embarrassment and blushing and smelling like food from the dance for weeks.

Ugh. I hate dances. I hate people. Why did I come again?

Alice had her arm hooked on my right arm, Rosalie hooked on my left arm, and I took a cleansing breath. I could do this. I had people to catch me and, I guess, bring me intoxicants.

Voices began to feel like they were suffocating me, and I wasn't even six steps in the gym.

"People are staring," I felt Rosalie whisper in my ear, a smug smile in her voice, "In a who-_is_-that-smoking-hot-girl way. Which means…that, well, Project Girl-ify Bella was a success."

People were staring!?

I ignored the girl comment Rosalie made and tried to not faint right then and there. God, Bella, get it together. Who cares if they stare? Uh….right?

I ducked my face as I answered, "Ha ha, Rosalie. People are staring at you. Which means _you_ look hot. But that's obviously not anything new."

"Maybe," Rosalie laughed, "But people are looking at you too."

I gave her a look that said, 'this isn't helping' and she shrugged. Alice grinned up at me, squeezing my hand and kissing my cheek playfully with a 'mwah!' noise.

"I'm going to go find Jasper," she said over the music, giving my hand one more squeeze. Rosalie wrapped her arm around my waist, and I wrapped mine around hers. More for balance than for pose, but they didn't need to know that.

We walked around for a little, the bass pounding and the people dancing on the dance floor. I could see all the social little pow-wows going on in all the corners. I could see people giving me scrutinizing looks, but so far, there were no glares. They all rather looked…understanding. As if they expected me to be standing there in a dress I never thought I'd wear, hooking arms with the prettiest and most out-of-your-league girl at school.

And I was understanding of their understanding. It seemed like we were at a draw. Maybe I wouldn't be so interesting to them anymore and they can go on regarding me as that girl next to Rosalie. Only when I mess up will I star in their gossip again. Hopefully.

In my blurry thoughts, I vaguely heard Rosalie pointing out ugly dresses and slutty necklines. I noticed all the guys looking her up and down, and then quickly turning their heads. Poor Rosalie. It wasn't _her_ fault Emmett threatened to tear apart anyone who went for her. But the more I saw Rosalie craning her neck around looking for someone (someone like _Emmett_), the more I confirmed that Rosalie was falling for him. Maybe it was his plan all along.

Nahhh. He wasn't that smart.

Unless it was all a ploy.

God, high school's so flip-floppin' confuzzlin'. And it wasn't easy trying to go into everything with trust for no one.

"Well, hey there stranger," I heard a manly voice say in my ear, hooking his arm with mine in a gentlemanly way. I turned around to see Jasper standing there with a smile. I laughed and smiled back, relieved to see a friendly face here that didn't look like it would pour punch on me or push me into the food table.

"Hey, handsome," I teased, tugging at his tie playfully, "What's with the tie?"

"What's with the dress?"

"Point taken."

"You look good, though," he said appraisingly, smiling a casual and Jasper-like smile.

"You too," I said, even though I blushed at his praise.

"You're looking pretty fine yourself, Rosalie," Jasper said, leaning in front of me to wink playfully at Rosalie, "Emmett's gonna _flip out_."

"Yeah, whatever," Rosalie said, flipping her hair even though I could tell she was glowing with excitement from the joy in her somewhat-calm. Jasper gave me a pointed look that said he saw it too and I smiled again.

Rosalie was fidgety after a moment of casual conversation with Jasper, probably looking around for him now. She pinched my side gently and gave me a parting smile.

"I'm going to get a finger sandwich," she said to Jasper and I, "I'll meet up with you later?"

Jasper and I nodded and Jasper led me inside, weaving through people and flirtatious people laughing too loudly. More people were filling in now, and I was itching to see Edward.

"Alice was looking for you," I said over to him. He raised his eyebrows.

"Really?" he said, laughing but sounding pleased, "Why?"

"Obvious reasons."

He scrutinized my expression and I waited to see if he would get it. Apparently, his skull was made of iron. Yeesh.

"Fine. Be cryptic. See if I care," he sighed.

"Want me to go find her?" I laughed.

"And leave me alone in this hell hole?" Jasper said worriedly, looking around the sea of people as he gripped my arm tighter, "I'd rather have this nice, brave, pretty young thing on my arm."

He patted my arm and I smirked.

"A pretty young thing, though perhaps brave, provides no help when in a dress and heels," I replied with an eye roll. Jasper laughed now. He was wearing a white button down shirt, black tie, black pants, and red Chucks with the laces untied. He looked good, and was one of the few brave souls in here man enough to wear a tie.

"The girls curled your hair?" Jasper asked, playing with the curl by my cheek. I nodded with an exasperated sigh at the memory.

"Two hours of torture. Only to look 'acceptable'."

God, I hated that word.

"More than acceptable. You're the gossip of the dance," he said, looking around the room and at the people dancing on the dance floor. He saw my worried face and added, "In a good way, of course. If it was in a bad way, Edward would be over there kicking some asses."

"No he wouldn't," I said, laughing in disbelief and at Jasper's lie. Did he not know Edward at all? The priest-like one with all the peace and non-confrontation tendencies?

"You'd be surprised to what lengths he'd go for you," Jasper said with a laugh of his own, "Especially recently…

"Where is he, anyway?" I asked as I cleared my throat, avoiding where this conversation was swiftly heading.

"Where is who?" a familiar, velvet voice asked in my ear. I jumped at his breath on my ear and turned around to see Edward standing there. Why was everyone talking in my ear tonight? It was a bit unsettling…except when Edward did it….

"There you are, Edward!" Jasper said, talking so I didn't have to as I took in Edward's mouth-watering appearance. He was wearing a grey button down shirt, sleeves rolled and some buttons unbuttoned, jeans, and black Chucks. He looked like he tried to tame his hair and failed miserably. Naturally, it was more messy than usual.

"I was wondering if you chickened out," Jasper continued. Edward nodded in acknowledgement, his eyes still taking in my own appearance. He visibly swallowed and I took that as a good sign at first, but then shooed the thoughts out of my mind.

"Fine, fine, I can take a hint," Jasper laughed after maybe a few minutes of awkward silence, considering neither Edward or I had spoken since he walked over here, "I'm 'a go find a little fairy princess."

He lifted my hand, kissing my fingertips and winking at Edward in a teasing way. He saluted us as he walked away, and once my brain caught up to understand that he was leaving, I called out stupidly, "She's in yellow and red!"

Jasper responded with a wave and a laugh.

I turned around to Edward, whose eyes looked darker. Maybe it was the lighting.

"You look…really good," he said, clearing his throat and looking away from my eyes.

"Thanks," I mumbled, feeling abnormally awkward and tension-y, "You look good too. No clown shoes, I see."

"Yeah, I was about to ask where your beard was," he laughed, the tension lifting a bit as we joked. He lifted one of my arms.

"But maybe you did the armpit thing…" he said, ducking his head under as I laughed and snatched my arm from him.

"Alice would have killed me," I said, "Plus, where on earth would I find armpit-hair extensions?"

"I guess that's true."

"Did you see Rosalie, by the way? She was looking for Emmett…"

"Well, you'll know when they've found each other. Trust me."

"What? How?"

"There'll probably be some crashing or screeching or crying. Big drama goes down between those two. Especially during Knee- err…nevermind."

"Knee Sock Season?" I asked. Edward's expression went sheepish.

"Yeah, how'd you-"

"Rosalie and Alice," I said, waving it off, "I thought it was just some of their random shit."

"It's not a myth, if that's what you're wondering," he laughed, "It's very much…a real season. For guys, at least."

"I see," I said, smirking. Edward laughed shakily, shifting on his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets.

I looked out at the dancing people and tucked a curl behind my ear. The beat was pulsing through me from the music, I my body yearned to move and maybe it was because I was so damn fidgety, but was mortified at the thought of dancing. I saw Edward looking at me out of the corner of my eye.

Then, as I looked over Edward's shoulder, I saw Jimmy and Jacob standing by the wall. Quil and Embry were playing thumb war as they sat on the ground with their backs to the wall and their knees drawn to their chests. Jimmy and Jacob were talking, and my felt my heart pang. I wished I could stand over there, but I also wished Edward would grab my waist and pull me on the dance floor.

Jimmy was wearing a white button down shirt open with a black, Rage Against The Machine t-shirt underneath. He was wearing jeans and Doc Martens, his arms crossed over his chest. Jacob was wearing a maroon colored polo, a black sweatband around his wrist, jeans, and wasn't wearing any shoes at all. Which wasn't too surprising. No one seemed to give them much attention anyway.

They looked bored. Jimmy looked sad.

I wanted to run over there and damn cliques to hell and hug him and say I'm sorry and take him up on his offer to run back to Forks.

But then…Edward was standing there smelling wonderful and warm and looking inviting.

And then I understood: I wanted both.

Edward looked over his shoulder, looking puzzled, and then he understood as he looked back over to me, ducking his head.

"I'm sorry," he offered, stepping closer to me so our hips were almost touching as we stood side by side.

"Don't," I shrugged, looking at my toes in my black pumps as Bella from Forks wondered what the hell I was thinking when I put these on, "It's not your fault."

"Yeah, well, I can be sorry that you have to deal with it. Because…well, it does suck."

I shrugged again.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and was so ready for people to not come up at me in surprise. Geez. I was already edgy enough to start with.

I turned around to Tyler standing there with a shit-eating grin. He was wearing a black polo over a pink polo, both collars popped. He had a baseball cap on his head, a little lopsided. He was…okay, he looked like a wannabe frat boy. But hey, he was…smiling? I guess that was a good sign…

I smiled tightly as I felt Edward tense up by my side.

"Bella Swan," he said my name, licking his lips casually and I felt Edward tense again, "How's it going?"

"I'm fine," I said, glancing over at Edward for help. But Edward was glaring something fierce at Tyler.

"I feel like we never talk. Have we talked before?" he asked as he tried to regain my attention. It was an odd question. Whatever, I'll go with it.

"Maybe in the hall once…?" I replied, still trying use my telepathic powers to get Edward to this frat boy away.

"Well, I'm Edward's roomie, right Edward?" he said laughing before turning back to me, "Edward's a bit of a scrooge. Almost didn't come tonight, isn't that right?"

Edward made a 'hm' noise that didn't sound very encouraging towards Tyler, but Tyler didn't seem to mind.

"Anyway, I like your dress," he said. He smiled charmingly and I wondered if he'd gotten a little bit drunk before he came here.

"Err…thanks."

"So, you feelin' bored?"

"Not particularly…"

"Come on, now, you gotta be bored standing next to this tree trunk," he joked, gesturing at Edward. Edward glowered as Tyler grinned at me.

"I don't want to dance, if that's what you're getting at," I huffed, glaring up at him for making fun of Edward, which I realized was a rather instinctual reaction that startled me a bit.

He looked stunned, and I guess I must have hit the nail on the head. I could have sworn I felt Edward shaking with concealed laughter beside me. Tyler recovered, smiling slyly at me.

"Not even one dance?" he asked, using puppy-dog eyes.

And then I just wanted him to leave us alone. But he looked determined, and hey, one dance really couldn't kill me, right?

My mind tried to remind me of all the embarrassing dancing moments and of all the people watching and what Jimmy would think, but oddly enough, that only made me angrier at myself for being so…weak.

And so when I was looking at Tyler's outstretched hand and eager face, every fiber of my body just said, 'fuck it all', and I grabbed his hand.

"One," I said sternly with a defeated sigh, "Then you'll leave me alone?"

Edward sounded like he was choking, and suddenly I felt like everyone's eyes were on me.

Who was that girl holding hands with the preppy, douche-tastic, soccer player?

Tyler lead me on the dance floor, smirking at me triumphantly as he talked words I wasn't paying attention to. I tried to breathe in the essence of the dance so I could be less of a spazz: the dark lighting, the throbbing music, the pulsing lights, the moving bodies, the casual inebriated-ness of everone here. And then I realized, you know, maybe no one was looking at me. Maybe no one _actually_ cared. And that helped my nerves a lot.

"Did you ever dance before where you came from?" Tyler asked, putting his hands on my waist and pulling me closer as we began to move with the beat.

"No," I said honestly, "At least, not in a gym with guys who actually wore ties… or polos…"

"Hey now," he said, smirking. And I smiled back. Because this could be…fine? No, that's not the right word. Painless, would be a better word.

And then suddenly we were dancing. He was talking less and less, which was fine, and I was moving, and _this_ is what partying with some 'normal' teenagers felt like. It wasn't taking naps or having spit fights or talking about boobies? Or was it a combination of both?

I wished I hadn't worn heels, considering I had to grip Tyler's arms sometimes for support, but he didn't seem to mind. And if I went past all the thinking that I constantly try to do, I realized that Tyler wasn't looking for a relationship. Just a dance. Which was fine. And some things didn't _need_ to be over-thought and analyzed until it was a blur of thoughts. And I could be just fine, better even, if I just went with it and danced. Tyler could be a friend too. One dance didn't make us connected. So why was I so set on analyzing _every little thing_.

I didn't know. But I was dancing now. So I'd think about it later.

Somehow I ended up with my back against Tyler's chest, and it wasn't sensual or steamy. Honestly. Swear to God. We were just two friendly people having a good time dancing. No one else scorned it, and the world wasn't ripping in half when Tyler's hands went to my hips to guide their movements. No one cared when he laughed breathlessly into my neck when I said something funny. We were casual. We were dancing. It was fine.

People started hooking up on the dance floor which was also…er…fine, and I guess we were all just caught up in the music and the night and the essence of dancing.

His hand started moving slowly down my hip and was about to reach my thigh, when I felt someone snatch my hand and pull me away. I jumped, looking up to see Edward. Who looked _livid_. Tyler was giving him a puzzled look. And yeesh, Edward, I was going to stop dancing soon anyway. Chill the hell out.

"Just need to talk to her real quickly," Edward said tightly with a tense smile. Tyler shrugged and walked over to the food table. I, however, was being pulled out the door as I tried to rip my hand out of his grasp, wondering what the hell his problem was.

We got outside on the lawn, and Edward finally let me go. It was dark outside, but now I was confused and pissed because I thought I was having a good time doing what normal teenage girls are supposed to do. Edward slammed the door closed so it rattled and I winced at the anger I felt in his presence.

"What on earth did you think you were doing!?" Edward exclaimed first, making my jaw drop.

"Excuse-" I began.

"Look Bella, Tyler is a _scum bag_ he was going to-ughh, you know damn well what he was doing. He is disgusting, okay, and what else could you think he was planning when he was touching you like that?!"

"Um, we were just _dancing_," I said, glaring at him, "And just so you know, I could dance with whoever I want. If you wanted to get my attention, you could have just asked me!"

"So you want to get laid, then? Because I see no other intention in dancing like that with that disgusting-"

"What the hell is your problem, Edward?" I gaped, hurt that he would insinuate that like I'm some sort of slut, "Are you like, bipolar? What kind of freakish drug are _you on_?"

"Uggh," he groaned, running his hands through his hair, "I am not the crazy one here. Don't you try to make it seem that way. It was making me feel…_sick_ seeing him touch you like that."

"Well, gee, where did this shit come from? You came to the dance too, Edward, and what the hell did you think was going to happen during it? People were going to just chat and be civil and do the boring shit we do at school? And frankly, I'm pissed that you would just grab me and rip me out of there to lecture me about safe sex like I'm some sort of baby."

"You don't know-"

"Oh _please_," I snapped, "Just…God, just shut up! Just because we have this friendship shit going on doesn't mean that now you've got protection rights over me. I'm trying to-"

"Fine, Bella, tell me. What were you trying to do?"

I huffed. I was red faced. He was red faced. We were angry. Where the fuck was this coming from. I think we were taking our anger out on each other. I was confused. He looked confused. We were angry. My thoughts were fuming.

"I _like boys_, Edward," I growled, shoving his shoulders as he stumble back, "And so what if I was trying to dance with one? There is nothing, absolutely nothing, you could do about it if I wanted to date someone else."

Okay so I was lying a little bit about dancing with Tyler because I liked him. But I wanted to piss him off. I felt that old childhood piss-him-off-just-because-he-pissed-me-off urge coming back.

I felt all our anger bouncing off each other. It wasn't even about me being angry at Edward anymore. It was about me being angry…at _everything_. Everything that made me angry that night and the night before and any time in between. That stupid I-hate-everything feeling was back and it was burning in my gut and I wanted to punch something.

Goddamnit.

He glared at me for a second and I almost hid in a corner. Almost. But he took a step towards me. One menacing step. Our chests were almost touching.

"Those teenage boys are disgusting," he snarled in a low voice, "You should know that by now."

"I do," I said, mirroring his tone and staring him straight in the eye.

"And yet you still want something to do with them."

"Yes."

We stared at each other for a moment. Glaring, more like it. And then everything seemed to fall down as our anger tumbled through the thick air. Our inhibitions, the feelings we repressed, the polite way to talk to people, and everything else that we saw in the daylight. He looked away for a second, his fists clenching and his breathing shallow and his eyes shut tight.

"I don't _want_ you to date anyone else," he ground out at last, his face seething as he took deep breaths. I glared at him, ready to set something on fire. Ready to set his stupid pretty hair on fire.

"Fine. But you can't tell me what to-"

But I was cut off.

Because he grabbed my face and kissed me hard on the lips.

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**Oh knee sock season. Ya gotta love the wave of hormones.**

**yum yummmyyy. And I personally like the Edward that has those turn-about epiphany things that make him do rash things. Personally. Because it's hot.**

**Oh, and for Bella's dress, just imagine Bella's prom dress from the movie minus ruffles, in a darker blue, and tighter around the hem. **

**Hm, wow, I don't have much to say this time. **

**REVIEWS MAKE THE UPDATES COME FASTER. Trust me. Look how long this chapter was after the story reached 700 reviews!! Plus….I need the encouragement because this chapter was leap-y and turbulent-y.**


	13. With Ears and Reconciliations

**.**

**Disclaimer: characters not mine. Inner monologues on how sucky their lives are…yeah, that's mine.**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. There really are no excuses…except for the fact that I freaked out about awkwardness and rushed-ness and squished-ness. **

**Oh well. Nothing's ever perfect, right?**

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I made some sort of muffled protest against his lips, my eyes still open as his warm palms pressed against my cheeks and his soft lips molded against mine. His eyebrows were knit as he continued to kiss me, and I felt dizzy with emotions. Conflicting emotions that all told me this was wrong, but then changed their mind and said to kiss the crap out of him when one of Edward's hands slid from my face, and down to my waist, where he gripped me closer to him.

I pushed his shoulder with another muffled noise against his lips, but he only held me closer because I guess even _he_ could see the fact that, somewhere inside me, I didn't actually want him to stop. That tiny part of me…..-

My brain stopped thinking when one of his hands dug into my hair, pulling me closer as I felt his tongue brush against my upper lip.

My protests, embarrassingly enough, turned into a mix between a moan and a whimper and I gripped the sides of his arms. My eyes fluttered closed as Edward continued to kiss me relentlessly. Slowly, I began to respond, kissing him back, growing with fervor each second.

I gripped the fabric of shirt by his arms and shuffled closer to him. He lifted his lips from mine, just our top lips touching, with a ragged breath. Blindly, I sought to press my lips against him still. He complied, the fervor building. It was mixed with anger and frustration and emotion, but I could hardly notice, as my feelings mirrored his.

I took his upper lip between my teeth and he let out a little groan of his own, shuffling us backwards until suddenly my back was pressed against something rough and hard. My heart pounded as he kissed me harder, as retaliation for my previous action. He gripped the sides of my dress as my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him to me. I could feel our hearts pounding and our breathing ragged and my lips swollen and tingling but desperate for more.

And I knew that once we stopped….we would have to say something. Explain something. Anything. Go through the motions of awkward moments and muttered apologies.

So we didn't stop.

My hands slipped from his neck, gripping the sides of his collars as I angled my head upwards to kiss him better.

Suddenly, I sensed that we were losing steam and falling back into reality. My heart pounded again, this time with anxiety, as Edward's lips grew softer and gentler. He leaned up a bit so his body was flush against mine and gently released my hands of the death grip they had on his collar. Our breathing was still ragged as he held my hands to his chest and finally lifted his lips off mine.

And I didn't want this, so I forced my lips onto his again and he let out a little groan. His hands let go of mine, but instead of pushing me against the wall again, he held the sides of my shoulders and lifted his lips away from mine just a little.

Our faces were close, our breathing erratic and raspy in the silent night air. His eyes were dark, almost the color of the sky, as he looked at me dangerously through his lashes. One of his palms was against the wall beside my head and he dropped his head, letting out a sigh. I was still breathing heavily against the wall, my hands back to their spot on his collar. I loosened my grip ever so slightly when his eyes met mine.

My thoughts spun out of control and my heart pounded with anxiety and a "shit, shit, shit, shit" mantra repeated over and over in my head.

He breathed out quietly after a moment of silence, his eyes in shock in an 'uh oh' sort of way, mirroring my thoughts exactly. But the 'uh oh' in my mind coded for, 'shit, that was kind of amazing now what the hell do we do?'

I turned my face from his, releasing my hold on him as I felt blood rush to my cheeks. I made to run, actually, because maybe he just realized what it mistake it was to kiss me. I made to run, really I did, but he grabbed the side of my dress and pulled me back.

"Where are you going?" he asked, puzzled. I put my hand on his wrist, the one that was gripping my dress.

"Away from here," I mumbled, confused. Edward frowned, pulling me by my dress so I was closer to him again. He gave me a quizzical look.

"Why?"

"Don't you…I mean…" I muttered, huffing and turning my face from his again.

Ugh. This was too much.

Edward let go of my dress and looked up at my hair, trying to push back some unruly pieces that got messed up. I held down a shiver at his gentle touch. Stop it, body, he's about to tell you what a mistake it was to kiss you.

"Shit, your hair got messy," he sighed, "Alice will kill me, huh?"

"Probably."

My stomach dropped. This was too much. Him so close, with his sweet breath and his tempting lips. Warm hands and soft hair. And paired with all this inner turmoil I seemed to love sporting all the time….

_Relax. For once._

Jasper's mantra rung out in my head, replacing the other less-calm one, but I couldn't…because something was churning inside me. I couldn't just relax. Because it wasn't enough. Maybe it was the guilt that was eating me alive inside when I kissed Edward, because the first person to know…the first person _had_ to be Jimmy. He would have to know first about this. There was no excuse. I had to set things right. Because if I didn't, things would pile up and then it would all be too much.

I reached up and gently put my hand in Edward's hair affectionately, mirroring his actions on my hair.

"Yeah, but my hair's always messy," Edward said, rolling his eyes. I smiled at this, before my expression sobered again.

With one thumb, I casually and softly smoothed over his temple. He melted into my hand, but was giving me a cautious look, as if waiting for _me_ to tell him what a mistake it was to kiss him.

Ugh.

My brain hurt. I had so many things I needed to fix before I could take any romantic steps further with Edward. That was mind-numbing enough on its own.

"It's soft," I mumbled, because it was, and Edward smirked. Either at my comment or my lack of paying attention to the glaring-in-your-face-because-it-just-happened kiss. I felt myself blushing as I smiled back a little softer.

Then I groaned, pulling his head forwards, bringing the rest of his body with him, so I could rest my forehead on his chest. I breathed out a sigh as he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I breathed in his scent, telling myself that I could do this. We could do this. Who cares if suddenly guilt was eating alive because Jimmy didn't know what his cousin has been up to? Who cares if _every single person_ would flip out if they found out I kissed Edward? Yeah. Right. Totally. We got this.

"What're we gonna do?" I mumbled into his shirt. He sighed in response.

"Wanna make out again?"

"Edward, I'm serious."

"I know," he sighed again, "But I wish you weren't."

"What?"

"You're too serious."

I snorted. Hypocrite. Mr. I-won't-socialize-until-my-fingers-fall-off-and-my-brain-explodes.

"Oh yeah?" I said, peeking up at him. He rolled his eyes.

"I _mean_," he clarified, "You always over-think everything. You never roll with anything and each step you take has to be thoroughly mapped out and planned. I mean, where's the fun in that?"

"Easy for you to say. You don't have a cousin you've practically abandoned, five hundred eyes watching your every step because you're the new kid hanging out with the 'it' crowd even though you have no idea what you're doing. And you wish everything would just stop. Even if it was just for a second, because…_ugh_…..everything is just- and then I can't- and….ugh…I hate people."

I heard Edward chuckle a little, most likely at my last statement, and then breathe out a little sigh.

He rubbed my back softly and I melted into him, embracing _this. _Whatever _this_ was. I'd embrace it, not 'over-think' it. Then see what happens. And then, once everything burst into flames, I'd say 'I told you so'. Simple.

"You want everything to stop?" Edward said quietly, pushing back a little so he could look me in the eye. I nodded mutely. He inspected my face before smiling softly, his hands on either side of my face, tilting me up towards him. My heart thrummed. He leaned closer, his smile still soft and lazy.

"Then just let it," he said, shrugging casually, his breath moving across my face but his lips not nearly as close as my heart longed for.

My brain protested.

"We were friends like, two seconds ago," I huffed.

"Mmm…yeah?" Edward confirmed, not moving back and making my brain fuzzy.

"So how did this happen?" I huffed again.

"Uhh…well, I'm pretty sure I pulled you away from a douche-bag, got really pissy, and then decided I was going to kiss you. And then I did, and then you got all serious, and then-"

"I'm caught up with the summary, thanks, but…how can this…how can this be healthy?"

"It's not."

"So I'm not the only one here feeling like she's going to puke because the roller coaster just flipped upside down?"

"Things don't _always_ happen in steps. People are efficient. And occasionally we like to skip a few," Edward said, shrugging again. A look of ease. How aggravating.

I huffed, once again, and Edward smiled a little.

"You're not exactly helping," I said, squinting one eye at him as I looked up.

"It's not exactly my specialty."

I glared at him.

"Then what is?"

"Hm…I don't know, wanna kiss me again and let me remind you?"

I scowled at him and he smirked. Smug ass. Some boys just never grew out of it.

"Edward."

"Bella."

"Are you paying attention?"

"Yes."

"We need to do something."

"I agree."

"Edward. Not _that_ something."

"All right. Fine."

"So you kissed me."

"Yes."

"And you're not regretting it?"

"Not yet, anyway."

Sigh of relief.

I shifted, blushing and clearing my throat.

"So then…do you….do you like me?" I asked in a smaller voice. I looked up to see Edward's softer, not-quite-smirking, smile.

"Is that a serious question?" he asked, mumbling and staring at his shoes. I waited patiently. He looked up at me, and then back at his shoes.

"God," he huffed, his eyes going to the sky, "Yes, okay, I like you. Happy?"

"And it's not just Knee Sock Season?" I asked, swallowing nervously and ignoring the way my heart burst into flames at his words. Edward looked up at me, his face falling a little.

"Is that what you think it is?"

"I mean," I said, sighing and looking away, "We were friends just a few seconds ago, and then you went and-"

"How about this?" Edward said, sobered up now as he covered my mouth with his hand, "We stop trying to analyze and figure this out and play this thing by ear. Don't, you know, make a big deal of it and just…see how things go? Because I realize it's not exactly…great timing on my part…but…"

I nodded, the action cutting him off. That sounded okay. He moved his hand off.

"So what does that…make us, exactly?" I asked, still sheepishly nervous. Edward gave me pointed looked, clearly fed up with my 20 questions. I smiled back.

"Well, that makes _me_ Edward," he said, shrugging again with a hint of a smirk, "And I guess that makes _you_ an over-thinker. Again."

I smacked his chest playfully.

And then there was tomorrow. Where we had to go back to 500 eyes and dealing with nosy students. Where Alice would, upon seeing my messy hair, ask if I ran into a bush. Where Edward's and mine little sanctuary was tested by the stupid pounding noise of teenage angst and stress.

I feel like a 'Welcome to Hell' statement is far overdue.

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My fist paused over the door. I convinced myself that I had to grow up and do this. No more running around and ignoring everything. I had to get things in place now because surely I'd explode if I dealt with any more of this stupid drama along with everything else.

I hadn't told Alice. Or Rosalie. Or anyone. Edward knew, and I knew, and that was it. Well, I mean, Alice did seem suspicious of my hair. But she didn't ask…and it was as if she knew. Maybe she did. Maybe she had yet to confront me about it. Still, that wasn't the issue at hand.

I took a cleansing breath.

Would he kick me out? Tell me go to hell? Ignore me? Throw something at me?

Maybe all four. But I deserved all of it. And I knew I did, I had finally embraced it, my immaturity and stupid actions.

The hardest part was knocking on the damn door.

Because Jimmy and I had some talking to do.

I almost turned around. Was it too soon to seek a truce? To reach an agreement? To forgive and forget? Should I be taking more steps?

_We like to skip a few_.

This had to be settled. I couldn't go on having confusing feelings about Edward and confusing feelings about everything else. If there was some stress I could get rid of, then I best get rid of it fast. Or things will go up in flames. Fast.

I bit on my lip and brought my fist to the door, knocking twice.

There was some rustling inside, something that sounded like a thud, someone cursing, and then footsteps.

The door swung open, revealing a very drowsy looking Quil with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt and bright red flannel pajama pants.

"Jacob, I told you to bring me a large burger with-" he cut himself off, his eyes widening when he realized I was not a 6-foot-tall male with russet skin and dark hair.

"Oh," he said as I smiled shyly and awkwardly.

"Hi," I mumbled, "Um…sorry if I woke you up."

"It's fine," he said as he yawned, "So what's up? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah, umm, I'm okay. I guess. How have you been?"

"Bored," he shrugged, "But that's normal."

"Right…" I said, trailing off, "Can I…? Is Jimmy here?"

Quil nodded in understanding, reaching behind the door and grabbing a black sweatshirt and his keys off the hook on the wall.

"He's asleep, but I need to go get breakfast," he said, "So I'll see you around, Bella. Have fun, though."

"Yeah, see you around, Quil," I said as he grinned a grin that didn't reach his eyes, darting around me and pulling on his sweatshirt. I walked into the room, closing the door.

It smelled like teenage male in here. And a bad attempt at covering it up with Lysol.

I sighed and looked over at Jimmy's bed. He was lying on his stomach, his face buried in his pillow. He was snoring, as usual, and his black sheets were tangled around him. He had on his old, grey Forks High School t-shirt and some dog tags I gave him when we were younger around his neck. I wonder when he started wearing those again. The sight made me sad and guilty and nostalgic all at once.

I went over and sat at the edge of his bed, tucking my knees to his chest and trying to figure out how to word this.

There was silence, his snoring becoming lighter before it stopped all together. I wanted to tell him how sorry and wretched I felt, and I knew…it just wouldn't be enough. How could he _ever_ forgive me? I felt desperation wash over me and I wanted to run away again. Ignore everything and maybe go find Edward and fall asleep in his arms, be comforted even if it was short lived.

"You want some M&Ms?" Jimmy's voice rang out, muffled by the pillow his face was shoved in.

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"Because, I mean, if you're just going to sit there…" he continued, his face still in the pillow.

"Jimmy-"

I cut myself off as he reached blindly to the bedside drawer, yanking it open and pulling out some M&Ms. He tossed them to me and they landed in my lap.

"Some random girl from the Save the Whales club gave them to me because I donated two dollars," he muttered.

"Oh," I said, looking at them. I waited for him to kick me out. But it never came.

He finally turned his head over, squinting an eye down at me.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I replied back, not even trying to smile as I played with the laces on my ratty Chucks.

"Your shoes are on my bed," he mumbled. I nodded, still not looking at him. He sighed, sitting up and crossing his arms. He leaned his back against the pillow.

"I'm…" I mumbled, "I'm…"

"In my room," Jimmy filled in, glancing at his watch, "At 9 AM on a Saturday morning. After kicking out my roommate."

He raised his eyebrow. I sighed.

"I know."

"Are you here to apologize or something?" Jimmy huffed, turning his face.

"I'm here…because, God, because I'm just an awful person. Even worse for not realizing it sooner. I just…everything got really messed up for the past few days…and I guess some of it had to do with the fact that I was so confused…and I was ignoring all of it because I thought that would make it go away…but it didn't."

Jimmy waited expectantly, his face blank.

"And I'm not saying that I'll stop ignoring things," I said, staring at my feet on Jimmy's black sheets, "Because you know that's just how I am. And I don't know when I'll grow up or start trying or actually figure this shit out…but I know I'm sorry. Really sorry. I just…"

I stopped, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes.

"Something brought this up," Jimmy accused after a moment, sticking out his hand. I opened the M&Ms and poured some into his outstretched palm. He tossed them into his mouth like he was dry swallowing a pill.

"Yeah."

He was quiet, chewing as he watched me. I waited for him to figure it out, the blush evident on my face.

Then he stopped chewing.

And his eyes widened.

"Oh my God, you have a love interest!" he shouted. I winced at his volume. I waited for him to catch on again. It took about two seconds.

"Oh no," he said, his voice getting lower, "Oh no…please don't say…"

"Jimmy, I'm sorry, okay? I know this is awful timing and I should have told you sooner and I hate myself for pouring this all on you now, but if I don't fix things now I'm going to be a freakin' wreck and please don't think that _only_ guilt is driving me to come here today, because that is part of it, but more than anything else, I wanted _you_ to be the first one to know."

Everything kind of came out in a rush. Jimmy's face was still disbelieving.

"Edward Fucking Masen?" he whispered as if he didn't hear my whole rant.

"Jimmy-"

"Oh don't you 'Jimmy' me, Ms. Isabella Swan," Jimmy huffed, "You've been slinking around with that boy?! Since when?!"

"Last night."

"At the dance?"

"…..he kissed me."

Jimmy groaned, putting his hands on his face and shaking his head. He muttered words I couldn't hear, and some of them were in Italian. When did he learn Italian?

"Here I thought you were just coming to say you're sorry, and that would be fine, and then we'd go out to breakfast or whatever because God only knows how much I've missed you," Jimmy mumbled into his hands, "And then you throw a wrench in the whole things by kissing Masen. Good Lord, Bella, you haven't changed one bit."

"You were going to forgive me?" I asked, blinking.

"Well, _duh_. God, you think I'd hold a grudge for that long? I've been a sucker and a pussy from day one, man."

"Says the boy who still holds hatred for a boy he hated since he was 6," I quipped.

"He's different," Jimmy said, pointing a finger at me. I narrowed my eyes.

After a moment, he sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

"When did you learn Italian?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"I mean, I knew you two were getting close, but I didn't think _physically_," Jimmy said, ignoring me, "Crusty and Travis will pee their pants. And maybe come and drag you back to Forks where the crazy Edward-kissing ideas were kept on the DL."

My heart swelled at the mention of Crusty and Travis. Talking to Jimmy and sitting his bed, thinking of Crusty and Travis and Forks and lazy days lying on the grass….it was enough to make me pretty nostalgic all over again.

"So what's next on the check list?" Jimmy sighed, "You've apologized to me, so what's your next stop? Masen's room for some good, old-fashioned fucking?"

"Hardy har har," I said sarcastically, tossing the M&Ms at his face, "Speaking of DL, that's exactly what we're aiming for."

"Oh, so it's like a secret?" Jimmy asked, grinning widely, "Like secret lovers?"

"Jimmy."

"Oh lordy lord, what a morning it's been," he said, leaning back on his pillows with his arms behind his head, his eyes squeezed shut as he breathed out a sigh, "The prodigal cousin returns with apologies, news of recent frisky activities with a boy she's hated for basically her whole life, a boy apparently that was recently befriended, and makeup that has yet to be removed from her eyes."

My hands flew to my face.

"I still have mascara on?" I said, jumping up and running to the bathroom to find the mirror.

"A month ago, you didn't even know how to pronounce that word!" Jimmy called out as I yanked the door open to a very filthy bathroom. I found the mirror and swiped at the smudged makeup under my eyes, walking back out with a piece of paper towel in my fist as I dabbed at it.

I sat back down, looking at Jimmy who as glaring at me with his arms crossed. I ran out of words. I just knew that I needed Jimmy. For my sanity's sake. And I was being stupid and selfish and who knows how I would feel about this whole thing tomorrow, but I needed to stop this childish grudge. To set things straight so I could at least have some sanity. And so I don't ever forget where I come from.

A place with Jimmy and bikes and ice cream and rain and sneakers and lazy days on the grass.

"Truce?" I asked with a sigh after a moment, "Please?"

"Fine," Jimmy huffed, sticking out his hand as I shook it with mine, "Only because you asked so nicely."

I smiled and he smiled back, looking like he couldn't help it.

"Breakfast?" I asked, rubbing my hands together.

"Yeah, here," he said, giving me back the M&Ms.

I smirked.

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"So you still haven't exactly explained what brought along this whole apology-fest," Jimmy said, chucking a pebble into the river with one hand. We were sitting on the river bank, watching the crew team practice and just catching up with stuff. I'd spent about three hours with Jimmy, remembering how much I missed this, and told Alice I'd have to cancel my lunch date with her and Rosalie at the new deli the upperclassmen were allowed to go to, about five minutes from campus by car.

Jimmy was leaning against a tree, one knee bent and his the pant-legs of his jeans rolled to his knees. His sneakers were all ready soaked with water from an attempt to walk on the dock, and his white t-shirt had a new hole in it from scraping against a tree branch too hard.

It was as if things hadn't changed at all.

We'd been talking about what an awful blood-relative I was, how the crew team was so freakin' legit, the rain, the cold, Lady Mimi, how Jacob was still sore because he was a still a hard-core believer of the clique-system, how Jimmy got locked in the janitor's closet because he nicknamed some beefy senior Paula Abdul, what an awful friend I was, the drying curls in my hair (Jimmy thought it was magic), Edward (because Jimmy wanted to know what sparked the sudden attraction, I told him I still didn't understand the sudden refugees we took in each other), and Jimmy's need of new shoes.

The basics and such.

I was sitting cross-legged, my grey sweatpants rolled to my knees as well and the hood of my hoodie pulled over my head because of the chill from the river.

I drew lazy circles with my finger in the soil as I shrugged.

"I just…decided…." I said oh-so-articulately, "I guess I suddenly felt guilty that I was…you know, with Edward without you knowing….and also, I guess I decided I needed to grow up a little bit…finally stop ignoring everything because…"

"You'd eventually go crazy?" Jimmy filled in.

"Yeah," I sighed, "That sounds about right."

Jimmy chewed this over, squinting an eye up at the sky like he always did when it was too grey or too sunny or he was just trying to think about something.

"So you're not going to ditch me again, then?"

"Not without proper notification."

"You don't mind being seen with the scum? The lowest of the class system?"

I glared at him, even though I guess it was a fair question.

"Hey, you ignore things all the time, but I know eventually it'll catch you're attention, so how do you expect to continually and perpetually ignore all the looks you're going to get?" Jimmy pointed out.

"I guess I'll just have to get used to them," I sighed. My brain was shutting out all the ideas and stresses about that particular topic, saving them for tomorrow.

_IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE._

"Yeah, you are shagging Masen now, anyway…"

I chucked a pebble at his head.

But then it dawned on me just _how much_ gossip I would stir up.

Jimmy was grinning at my probably worried expression, reading my mind exactly.

"Oh _man_, will this be fun," he laughed heartily the way he used to if Crusty did something stupid or if one of his pranks worked perfectly.

I gave him an incredulous look but he just smirked and laughed.

"Bella, dear cousin, I've been wanting to shake things up from the second I got here."

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"Yeah, I'll meet you guys at the Astronomy Tower for dinner," I said into the phone, walking down the hallway towards my dorm. I felt lighter and happier, like you should feel after being kissed by your now-you-just-realized-you-liked-him crush. Like you should feel on a Saturday. Where life is going relatively well. As well as it can, anyway.

"Okay. I just need to find Alice first," Rosalie said, seeming preoccupied as I heard some rustling in the background.

"I bet my left foot that she's in the art studios."

"Hmm..with Maine's own Michelangelo, perhaps?"

"Yes, that would be the one."

"I'll check there. Do we want pizza for dinner?"

"Ugh. We always have pizza. You're gonna make me fat."

"Fine, shall I bring some grass drinks and tree-twigs, Healthytron?"

"God. Just bring pasta or something. It's not that difficult."

"It's not that difficult," Rosalie mimicked in a squeaky, high-pitched voice, "Where are you, anyway?"

"Walking to my dorm," I sighed, "I need to change out of my clothes because they got all soggy when I was at the river."

"The river?"

"With Jimmy."

"With Jimmy?"

"Or repeat everything I say in question form?"

"Why were you at the river?"

"Reconciliation."

"Ah, I see," Rosalie said, 'hmm'ing to herself for a moment, "And how'd that go?"

"Fine."

"Oh," Rosalie said trailing off in a way I knew too well.

I sighed again, "Anyway, I don't really want to think about that. I had a nice time, and it was refreshing."

"Glad to hear it. My day has sucked something hard and sand-papery. And Emmett hasn't stopped calling me all day and I have the worst migraine ever."

"Ouch. So you haven't forgiven him yet?"

Emmett called Rosalie a cold-hearted bitch for stringing him along all week and Rosalie stomped on his foot. Apparently that was the big drama of the dance, but I wouldn't know, because I was outside with Edward. I felt awful about not being there to soothe Rosalie, but apparently she was fine on her own. And Alice didn't give me too much grief about it….not after seeing my hair, anway.

"No," Rosalie scoffed, "I'm a cold hearted bitch, remember?"

"Rosalie-"

"Whatever. You're not helping the migraine, Bella, so I'm just going to go lay down before trekking around the campus to find Alice."

"Okay. Hey wait, can you-"

I felt someone grab my pinky, yanking me down the side hallway that had its lights turned off (probably because the people in these dorms were still knocked out and dead asleep). I jumped, startled, and found myself leaning on a wall in a dimly-lit hallway with Edward holding my pinky in his fist. He was leaning on the wall next to me, hidden by the darkness, but I could see his green eyes looking out at the people passing in the hallways as if he was waiting for them to all disappear.

"What are you _doing_?" I whispered at him, glaring because he went all surprise-attack on my ass.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked, "Bella, are you there?"

Edward looked over at me, smiling a little and I just kind of stared. People passed in the hallways, not noticing another couple against the wall, and I heard doors shut and voices trail off.

"Hi," he said in a low voice.

"Bella!" Rosalie called out. I jumped again.

"Sorry, Rose, umm…I'll call you back, okay?" I stuttered into the phone, snapping it shut before she could protest.

"Was that necessary?" I huffed, turning my head to him, "You gave me a heart attack."

"I'm not supposed to be in the girls' dorms unless I have a girl escort," he explained, "And now I have one."

"So no one noticed you just creepin' in here like some kind of pedophile?"

"Hey, I've been waiting for you. And I'll have you know, I happen to be part ninja."

I rolled my eyes at his boyish charm, peeking over at the quiet hallway next to us.

"What've you been up to?" Edward asked.

"I was with Jimmy."

Edward raised his eyebrows, but maybe he understood what I was attempting to do by reconciling with my cousin and didn't need to ask. So I didn't explain.

"What have you been up to?" I asked.

"Sleeping. Drinking expired milk. Sleeping."

"You haven't gone out of your room?"

"God no. Tyler's been out all day, and for once I've been able to get some decent nap-time in my own room."

"Savoring it, then?"

"Yeah, but then I got bored and decided to find you."

"Oh. How charming."

He grinned at me. My pinky was still in his fist, and I looked down at it.

"Why are you holding my pinky?" I asked. Edward shrugged.

"Grabbing your wrist seemed kind of forceful. And I didn't want to freak you out. Especially because I'm in a dark hallway."

"You could've, like, tapped my shoulder or something. You know, the way normal people do it?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to hold your pinky."

I rolled my eyes and snatched my pinky from his hand. He laughed.

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked.

"Hey, I thought we were going to play this by ear," I said, smirking and pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"We are. And what does your ear tell you to do?"

His face was close and he smelled so warm and tempting. I bet you he knew it too, those earnest green eyes calmly asking me like they were so innocent.

My ear tells me to kiss you and grab you and pull you into my dorm room and never let go. Ever.

And you know, when I'm with him, all that stuff about taking the proper relationship steps and thoroughly think through about whether or not the 'us' part is going to work….all of it just leaves my brain. I'm not sure if it's normal, or if I should take my heart and run before the both of us get hurt, but I know that when I'm standing next to him right now…something tells me this is right.

The same something that longed for his friendship and his smile and the sanctuary from the rest of the world he gave me…now longed for his arms and his touch.

Was I treading in dangerous waters?

I leaned towards him a little, smiling at him as his eyelids drooped and his stare dropped to my lips.

"What does _your_ ear tell you to do?" I quipped with a quiet laugh. He smiled, lazy and crooked, and looked at me through his lashes.

"My ear tells me that I'm going to take you out to dinner this weekend," he said matter-o-factly, "Whether the rest of my body parts like it or not."

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**Sometimes I like to pretend I know what I'm doing. Then I get over myself and prolong an update until I'm so sick of tapping my pen and drinking sodas while freaking out at my computer about messing up the whole story that I just decide to post the chapter anyway.**

**So yeah. I'll try to make things less squished (as in have more B/E time) next chapter. I had to put in the apology to Jimmy in this chapter, so things felt squished to me. Also, I had to make the kiss completely not-so-awkward and do that whole 'now-I-have-a-boy-so-what-do-I-do-with-him' thing. **

**Next chapter is playful-with-Bella Edward in class. That should give you enough motivation to review, right?**

**please and thank you!**


	14. Some Ice Melting and Boyfriend Stuff

**.**

**Disclaimer: I got barfed on today by someone because I told them Twilight was mine. Clearly, it's not. So stop with shooting human excretions at me, already!**

**A/N: On vacation past week. Sorry. Here's the chapter as I quickly as I could conjure it up. Sorry in advance for typos. **

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Rosalie looked like she'd been crying. Her eyes were a bit puffy and her hair was tied back in a messy bun because she didn't have the energy for anything else. She was looking down at her pizza, picking at it silently. Alice was changing the channels on the radio she brought, and I was _dying_ to tell them what went down Friday night.

Yeah, I still hadn't told them.

But it's gotta count for something if I'm dying, right?

The thing was, we were in the Astronomy Tower. And when we're in the Astronomy Tower, we don't usually talk about boy issues or parent issues of bitchy-girls issues or any other issues. Even if we did, I had a feeling we would be talking about what a dick Emmett is or how flaky Jasper is for being so hot and cold with Alice (even though I know it's just because he's an easy going guy falling too fast for a high-energized girl and he knows it). We wouldn't be talking about my blooming relationship with the boy I've known forever whose arms I've recently yearned to take refuge in.

Alice sighed. Then she clapped her hands together.

"Okay, Rose, you know we're going to talk about this no matter what," Alice said. Rosalie didn't look up.

"About what?" she said, forcing the casual tone out.

Alice sighed again. Rosalie looked up at Alice, who was giving her a pointed look and at me, as I looked at something behind her head. Rosalie snorted after a moment, shaking her head.

"You want me to say it, don't you?" Rosalie asked, "Well that's fine, because I don't want to talk about it."

"Rosalie-" Alice sighed again.

"There's nothing to _say_ Alice," Rosalie interrupted, maybe a bit louder than she had intended because she lowered her voice, "He's dead to me, now."

It was a lie. I looked at Alice, who didn't seem to get it because she probably couldn't, for the life of her, understand _why_ Rosalie would give up a boy that was so devoted to her. When her own boy couldn't man up and admit his obsession with her because he was too scared of being anything other than laid back.

And then, at that moment, it surprised me how alike we all were. All our emotions were simultaneously being turned upside down by some guy or another. We all were wretched little girls trying to make sense of things, and we all were completely lost. And Rosalie was at the lowest point of her emotional roller coaster, where I've been and where I've witnessed people being. Where she doesn't have any idea what she's doing and she doesn't know whether to be happy or sad. It tugged something inside me to see her like this.

So maybe I'd try my approach: avoid avoid avoid avoid avoid.

"Well…speaking of….boys," I began, looking anywhere but at Alice, "There's something….I should probably tell you. And I didn't want to tell you now, but if we're not going to go raid Emmett's room and spray maple syrup and whipped cream over everything…."

I trailed off as Alice and Rosalie looked at me with thoroughly confused expressions. Alice tilted her head to the side, puckering her face in thought.

"Edward?" she guessed and god damnit, how did everyone _know_ it was him before I said anything!?

"Edward!?" Rosalie mirrored, a little more shocked.

"You weren't going to tell us!?" Alice accused, even louder than Rosalie, "Bella!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," I said, trying to lower the sudden rise of energy in here, "Can I explain?"

"Do," Rosalie said, still looking puzzled. I took a deep breath.

"Remember when I left the dance to go outside with Edward?" I began, hoping maybe they'd figure it out the same way Jimmy did because apparently I'm that _readable_. God.

And they did. Which was kind of bittersweet for me.

"Shit," Rosalie said, drawing out the word, "He made a move on you didn't he?"

"I _knew_ it," Alice said, smug as she pointed a finger at me, "You kissed him, didn't you?"

"I-" I tried again, but was interrupted by Rosalie saying, "How far did you go?"

Just like that, the attention was put on me. I wasn't too fond of it, but it fascinated me that I could get both Rosalie's and Alice's minds on something other than their own problems. It was surprisingly comforting, like they actually _were_ my friends. But I knew that'd be tested once I pranced around with Jimmy on my hip. Tonight wasn't the night for that, however, so I went on with my riveting story.

"Kissing only," I said immediately. Then I surprised myself by blushing. Alice laughed and Rosalie let out a low whistle.

"The kid was good, wasn't he?" Rosalie asked smugly with eyes that were a lot more alive than before.

I bit my lip and blushed again, like a stupid little school girl in love.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed, "You have actual feelings for him! Oh my God, you didn't just _hook up_ with him….you _like_ him!"

"Oh come on, Alice, they've been with each other practically 24/7. What did you expect would happen?"

"Still! She's always been so…in denial. And now….oh Bella, I'm so happy for you!"

"Yeah, but we knew all along," Rosalie said, turning to me, "At least, _I_ did."

Alice stuck her tongue out at Rosalie.

"So, anyway, we're keeping this on the DL, right?" Alice asked, picking up her pizza and taking a bite, "Unless you've already gone public with him and decided we'd be the last ones to know?"

"Of course not," I said, "We'll go public…eventually. But for now, yeah, the DL would be…preferred."

Alice and Rosalie shared looks but didn't say anything.

"I just…" I said, shrugging, "Had to tell you."

"Does Jimmy know?" Rosalie asked casually.

I nodded.

"Do Emmett and Jasper know?" Alice asked as Rosalie stiffened a little at the uttering of _his_ name.

"Assuming Edward told them…." I said. Alice nodded. Rosalie shrugged. I turned up the radio, and it was like the night was a lot less heavy on the angst, due to my avoidance tactic.

Works every time.

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I rubbed my eye with my palm, pushing the library door open and walking out into the much brighter sky. I squinted at it and hugged my books tighter to me. I'm surprised I hadn't collapsed already from the exhaustion. From 5:30 this morning to 10:00, I'd been finishing my homework that I'd put off all week. But thankfully, I was completely finished and my entire body was shot with fatigue.

Four and a half hours of homework will do that to you.

The nagging voice in me told me I wouldn't have to work so hard Sunday morning if I actually did my homework, but I was too busy shying away from the bright light to notice its annoying voice.

And now I wanted to see Edward. But I also wanted to nap.

Dilemma.

Life was so hard.

I trudged my feet in the grass and made my way to the seemingly very far away girls' dorm. Once I got there, I trekked up the stairs, down the hallway, and into my room where Angela was still asleep. I shut the door quietly, but didn't so quietly drop my books on my feet. I yelped and then slapped my hand over my mouth too keep more noises from coming out.

I held my breath and bent my knee upwards so I could reach and massage my foot, all while keeping my eyes on Angela's sleeping body. Once I was positive she was still asleep, I limped over to my bed and dragged my books into my backpack. I sat down on my bed with a sigh, rubbing my eyes again.

My bed creaked a little and suddenly, Angela woke up with a jolt. She turned over to me, her hair messy-looking, even in the dark.

"Bella?" she asked in hoarse whisper.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I asked.

"Yeah…it's okay though…what are you doing up so early?"

"It's 10."

"Is it? Oh…nevermind then."

"I just had to drop my books off…but I'll let you sleep."

She nodded and turned over on her side. I sighed and looked up at the dark ceiling, fighting fatigue because I refused to lose my Sunday this way. My phone buzzed and I opened it quickly before I could wake Angela again. The screen lit up in the dark room, and I read it. I had a message from Jimmy. Perplexed, I opened it:

_Pair of lungs? Or have you yet to apologize to them for ditching them too?_

_Come outside. I wanna play you something. _

_-Jimmy_

I huffed at his accusations. I could still…sing. I mean, I do it in the shower, but there was no way in hell I was going to sing with him out in the open. I didn't even do that back in Forks. Only in the safety of a basement or locked doors.

So I went downstairs, dragging my feet as I went and wishing I wasn't such a procrastinator. Jimmy was there, looking up at the trees with his six string slung behind his back and his arms crossed over his chest. He had on his red Led Zeppelin shirt and was holding a silver guitar pick between his lips, completely lost in thought.

"When's the last time you played electric? Or have you turned into the new Jason Mraz?" I teased him, making him turn to me. He smiled and dropped the pick into his mouth.

"When's the last time you sang into a microphone? Or have _you_ turned into a coward?" he tossed back with a raised eyebrow.

I had. And I was not ashamed. At least, I don't think I was…

"Shut up, that is definitely _not_ happening," I said, glancing around to see if he actually brought an amp and mic out here, "I will run right back upstairs, I swear, if you-"

"Chillax, Shifty Shifter," he said with a laugh when he saw me looking around, "I'm taking you to the music room."

"There's a music room in this place?"

"Hello, Bella, _marching band_. Of course there's a music room. If there's a music group, there's a music room."

"I'm not singing," I warned when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me in the direction of this mysterious music room.

"They have an electric guitar in there, but the dick who owns it is a prick so he keeps it locked up. If he didn't, I'd be playing that shit all the time," Jimmy said, ignoring me, "Unfortunately, I'm stuck with acoustic. So yeah, I've been playing acoustic the past few weeks."

I felt the rough calluses of his fingertips on my wrist and knew he wasn't lying. In fact, it felt like he'd been playing a lot.

"How often do you play?" I asked as we passed the science labs and opened the door into the building where I had English.

"Quite a bit. My fingers hurt like a bitch at first, you know, because I hadn't played in a while. But now they're pretty good."

We walked down the hallways and boy did those closed, dark class rooms look creepy.

"Why are you up early?" I asked him.

"Quil's snoring. Migraine. Homework."

"Procrastinating?"

"Yup. Haven't changed that much. And considering those lovely bags under your eyes, I'm guessing you haven't either."

"I bet that's comforting for you," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, you bet it is," Jimmy laughed, grinning at me, "Nice to see ol' Eddie hasn't forced his study habits on you."

I jabbed him in the gut with my elbow and he laughed again. We finally got to the room, which looked just like all the other classrooms. Jimmy fiddled with the knob, probably because he wasn't supposed to be in there unsupervised, and shook the door open. He turned and grinned at me smugly because whadda ya know, he still can pick locks.

I walked in hesitantly and Jimmy followed, turning on the lights so I could see better. There were instruments, all right, and it was like a tiny, cramped little orchestra in here. Minus the musicians. Flutes and violas and violins and cellos and trombones and trumpets and more instruments I couldn't even name. Jimmy plopped himself down at the desk in the front of the room, crossing his legs and watching me as I looked around.

"There's a piano behind that door, too," Jimmy said, pointing, "Your little boyfriend hangs out in there on occasion."

"Edward?" I asked, turning around. I didn't want to correct him and say that he wasn't my boyfriend because then I'd have to explain what he was, if not a boyfriend, and I didn't even know that answer.

"Mhmm," Jimmy responded, swinging his guitar around and plucking a few notes, "He's pretty good. The marching band and the music club have been trying to sway him into joining since forever ago, but apparently he's turned down every offer. They keep letting him toy around with the piano, though. Just in case he changes his mind."

I blinked, looking at the door and having a million different theories on why he wouldn't want to join. Homework. Didn't fit in with his schedule. Would be ridiculed by peers. Didn't think he was that good. I put those theories away for later analysis and walked around the room, inspecting the other instruments. I was afraid to touch anything.

"They say, back in freshman year, someone saw him come out of there crying," Jimmy continued, still plucking at notes, "They even think that's when he started creepin' into his little corner. You know, the anti-social one."

"He's not anti-social this year," I mumbled, looking at the door again, "And didn't he become Mr. Popular with Emmett and Jasper during sophomore year?"

"Hey," Jimmy said, shrugging, "Creepin' is a step by step process."

I rolled my eyes, getting the nerve to touch my fingers to the microphone that was sitting standing on by the drum set. Jimmy's notes kept plucking in the background as I waited for a reason to start singing again. I don't even know why I even started in the first place, back in Forks, but now…I felt like there was a reason. I just didn't know it.

"I'll get those lungs out of you eventually," I heard Jimmy say, "The same way I got that apology."

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There was a familiar head of messy bronze hair resting against the library table. Leave it to him to choose the most secluded part of the library, behind the book shelves and away from nosy, gossip-y people. Actually, I couldn't blame him. I felt the same way when I walked in at an ungodly hour to finish my work.

He had his head buried in his arms, his forehead pressed against the table. He was also wearing a neon yellow pair of headphones. And not like the ear-bud headphones, either, but those big palm-sized circular ones with the padding around the side that blocked out all sound when you put them on. Those funky ones that, I thought, only hip people owned. Edward wasn't hip. That's what's so endearing about him.

I smiled, walking up to Edward quietly. The closer I got, the more I could hear his light snoring. I grinned wider, seeing his books spread out. I guess I wasn't the only one who procrastinated.

But now, how to wake up the princess.

I sat across from him, contemplating this I stared at his bronze hair and yellow headphones. If his face was visible, it might be hard to concentrate on anything other than that. But still, I just sat there watching him with my arms crossed as I leaned back in my seat.

Hmm….

I noticed the textbook he was sleeping against. And being the romantic sap that I am, I made my decision on how I would wake him up.

In one swift movement, and a brief lapse of judgment, I yanked the book from under him. His forehead smacked against the table and he sat up with a jump, looking frazzled. His headphones were even lopsided.

He looked around blearily for a second before looking at me. His eyes narrowed. He pulled the headphones to around his neck as I stifled laughter.

"Hi," he said flatly in his library-appropriate tone.

"Howdy," I replied with a cheery grin in the same tone, "Sleep well?"

"I know you didn't just ask that question."

I just shrugged. He reached for my hand and I pretended my breath didn't hitch. He turned my palm over, casually looking at it, and traced the lines as he talked. He let out a little sigh and glanced up at me.

"I must be stuck with the most deranged girl in this school," he mused as I rolled my eyes, "Honestly though. Couldn't you have waked me up in a kinder way?"

"I could have."

"And?"

"You're cuter when you're angry."

He tugged on my arm so I leaned forward, closer to him. I shut my lips to keep the laughter from coming out. The nervous, giggly, school-girl laughter. He stared smugly at me, our eyes dancing over each other's faces.

Ah, the flame of teenage romance.

It burns so good.

"Am I really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Yes you are. Really, really.

I rolled my eyes again in exasperation and he laughed quietly.

"Where were you all day?" he asked, dropping my hand and reaching up to push some hair from my face.

"In here. Then with Jimmy for lunch. Then took a nap. With Alice and Rosalie for quality chick time. Then here to find you because I got bored waiting for tonight…"

I trailed off when I realized he might have assumed I was acting clingy already. Finding him in the library because I was a greedy, greedy person with needs. But when I looked at him, he was simply staring at me like I hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. I cleared my throat and changed subjects.

"What are you listening to?" I asked.

"Do you wanna go eat dinner now?" he asked, ignoring me in a way that, for some reason, made my heart flutter. I blinked at him.

"Don't you have work to do…?" I asked, looking at his books.

"Meet me outside the girl's dorm in ten minutes?" he asked, ignoring me again.

"But don't you…"

I trailed off when he gave me a raised eyebrow look. He reached for his headphones.

"I'm about to tune you out, here, if you protest one more time," he warned with mischief in his eyes. I huffed.

"Ten minutes?" I asked, glancing at him hesitantly.

"Ten minutes."

"Is it like…a date?"

"I'm hungry, you're bored, and we go eat dinner together. So what if we end up making out at the end? …Though, if you want-"

"So it _is_ a date, then?"

"-we can skip to the making out right now."

I laughed and stood up.

"Ten minutes," I said over my shoulder as I walked away. He playfully made a kissy face at me.

That ass.

I was smiling anyway.

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It was late by the time we got to the front of the girls' dorms. Edward was swinging our clasped hands and we talked in quiet voices that matched the quiet air. There was something about the dark that drew me to him, and something about the time that made me wish it wasn't the end of our date.

We had eaten pizza down by the lake, and just talked about stuff in general. I asked him why he didn't join the music club, he gave me a vague answer, and we moved on. But don't worry, he wasn't getting off that easily. I just didn't want to spoil the moment. I mean, really, what else is new? Haven't you heard of my avoidance tactic? It works like a charm.

Once we got to the door, we stopped walking and Edward grabbed both sides of my sweater, gently pulling me to him so we stood flush against each other. I laughed quietly when he brushed some hair out of my face and entangled his fingers in my hair as he held the back of my head. He leaned in with a lazy, crooked smile that matched my giddy one and pressed his lips softly to mine.

And then he pulled away. Too quickly. Probably as punishment for the whole dropping his head on the table thing…

I let out a sharp, frustrated breath when he did, and he laughed quietly against my lips.

"Can I walk you to your dorm?" he whispered, his voice low and thick and delicious and _ugh_ I wish he didn't pull away.

I sighed, running my hand through his hair and playing with the hair at his neck. It was his turn to let out a shaky sigh as he reach up to put his hand over mine, stilling my movements.

"Or we can go to mine," he proposed in an even lower voice. I smirked and grabbed his hand.

"I don't want to wake up Tyler," I teased as we walked into the building and up the stairs to my floor.

"We can be quiet….or at least, you can try…"

I hip bumped him and he laughed again. Cocky little-

He smacked a kiss on the side of my neck and threw an arm around my neck, holding me close in a sort of deadly headlock. A playful, heart palpitation inducing headlock. We were at my floor now, walking down the hallway.

"How is it that you've driven me completely crazy all these years and now that I have you, you _still_ drive me crazy," he mused, shaking his head.

"It's part of the package," I said, patting his chest reassuringly with my palm, "In the fine print."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. You just never read close enough."

"Did you?" he asked, and I knew we weren't quite teasing anymore.

"No. I try to stay away from reading too closely into myself."

"Why?"

"Afraid of what I'll find, mostly."

Edward stared at me for a moment and I blushed, looking away.

"Well, _I_ always had a thing for you."

"Really?" I asked, snapping my head up, "No. I don't believe you."

"Believe it."

"Oh God. Please don't tell me it's one of those, she's-the-only-girl-who-didn't-fall-for-me things."

"I don't know what it was," he said shrugging and then laughing when I gave him an incredulous look, "Honestly."

"Was it my charming right hook?"

"That was definitely it. Made me swoon every time."

"Why, Edward, I didn't know you liked it rough."

He locked his arm tighter around my head and rubbed his knuckles, hard, in my hair. I laughed desperately, trying to break free.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how you're supposed to do it," I heard a voice say from the floor.

I looked up to see Jasper sitting on the floor with his back against the wall, his arms crossed and his face amused. Edward stopped nuggie-ing me, but kept me in the headlock. It was then that I realized that, normally, (if this was indeed a date) that we were supposed to be making romantic banter.

Oh well. We're not really normal anyway. Besides, we're not calling it a date, right?

"And I'm also pretty sure she's not supposed to be making _those_ noises," Jasper said, smirking wider.

"Go to hell," Edward said as he flicked Jasper off, still walking with me tucked to his side.

Then I noticed he was sitting outside of Alice and Rosalie's room, and there was loud shouting coming from the closed door. Edward noticed too, apparently, and we came to a stop. My heart immediately started pounding with adrenaline at the sound of a fight going on inside. Reflex reaction, I guess.

"Jasper?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"What's going on…?" Edward asked, detaching himself from me and nodding his head at the door.

I heard Rosalie's crying and the sound of something smashing. Then I heard Alice's voice shouting over Emmett's. God, I knew it was only a matter of time before they cracked.

"Wait, don't go-"

But it was too late for Jasper to warn me because I had already opened the door. Alice was pointing a finger up in Emmett's face, and they were both shouting. My heart sank and my face fell, but they all stopped talking once they saw me standing there. My face was blank, and there was silence that was suddenly broken by Rosalie glancing at Edward and I standing there, bursting into tears, and then covering her face with a pillow from the bed she was sitting on.

"Out," I said to Emmett, pointing out the door. My voice was level, but I was surprised to find my heart breaking at the sight of Rosalie crying. I didn't realize my attachment to these girls until I felt the motherly hormones kicking in. Rosalie was so tough, I thought, and seeing her crying…well, it made me lose a bit of hope. And I was angry, suddenly, but not enough to go ballistic.

I'm sick of drama. I'm sick of abrupt hormonal fighting. I'm sick of someone's day getting ruined because of what a boy said. And it hurt to know that there was nothing I could do to stop it. Because it was part of adolescence.

And adolescence _sucks_.

"God, not you too," Emmett laughed dryly, looking emotionless, "Let Rosalie say what she needs to say? Oh wait, of course you won't. Because you're all so god damn protective."

"Emmett, if she doesn't want to talk to you," I breathed. It would hurt my knuckles pretty bad if I tried to punch this kid in the jaw. Emmett was shaking his head, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm done, all right?" he said, "Done, Rosalie Hale. _Finished_. I'm so fucking tired of-"

"Emmett," I said blankly. He set his jaw and looked over my shoulder at Jasper and Edward standing there.

"Fine," he said, "I'm leaving."

He pushed by Alice, me, and then through Edward and Jasper. Edward gave one look at me, but I was turning to shut the door.

"We'll talk to him," Edward said. I nodded, gave a small smile and pecked him on the cheek before saying goodbye and closing the door.

Alice was sitting on the bed next to Rosalie, her arms around her shoulder as she tried to soothe the shaking. It was eerily quiet now, and Alice gave me a sad look, as if it hurt her to see Rosalie like this as well.

"I-I-I don't w-w-want to be a b-b-bitch," Rosalie sobbed into the pillow, her words muffled, "I-I don't want t-t-to be lo-lonely. I just…I-I-…"

"Shhh," Alice said, rubbing her shoulders, "It's okay, Rosalie, it's going to be okay."

I sat down on Rosalie's other side and put my hand on her knee. She was still sobbing, and we sat like that for a while. Then, with shaking hands, Rosalie reached out and grabbed both Alice's hand and my hand. Her head still in the pillow, she sobbed for the rest of the night with our hands in hers.

And you didn't need to be from the right clique to hold her hand. It didn't matter what happened outside those doors. Who you talked to, who you kissed, who you hurt and who hurt you. You could remember it, vaguely, as you sat there with this powerful, strong, beautiful 'ice queen' crying by your side.

But it didn't matter, really, not to her. None of it mattered, and I wondered when the rest of us would figure that out.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I was numb and tired the next day at class. My heart was still broken the same way it was when I saw Aslan die in the Chronicles of Narnia movie. The connection to Rosalie's pain was rather astounding, and I wondered when I had been making those connections…how could I not notice?

"Hey," Edward whispered in my ear, making me turn towards him, "Can you check my work real quick?"

We were doing lab work in Bio. It was supposed to be independent work, but really, we were all doing it together. I nodded toward Edward, rubbing my eye tiredly and looking at the page he shoved towards me.

_Is Rosalie okay?_

It was his handwriting, written in a blank page. I breathed a little sigh and wrote back.

_**She will be. She always is.**_

Edward nodded like he understood before writing again.

_Are you?_

_**Am I what?**_

_Okay?_

_**I'm fine…**_

_Doesn't look like it._

_**A little heartbroken for a friend. Nothing I've never handled before.**_

_What did Emmett say, anyway? He didn't talk at all last night. But he beat the hell out of his room…or so Jasper told me…_

_**They were just fighting, I guess. He said something that really hurt her, but Rosalie cried all night and Alice eventually fell asleep…so I didn't get the details.**_

_I hate this._

_**Me too.**_

_We should do something._

_**Okay, Edward, it will take the strength of a nuclear weapon to bring those two together.**_

_Oh ye of little faith._

I stopped writing and looked at a mischievous expression growing on his face.

_Halloween Festival. Next week. Are you in?_

I chewed on my pen before writing my answer.

_**Can I go as the bearded lady this time?**_

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**Okay, so I know it wasn't as playful as I might have wanted it to be, but I just came up with this new plot idea and the fighting between Rosalie and Emmett had to explode. Don't worry. More playfulness to come. It's part of having Edward as your boyfriend, right? Exactly. **

**Sorry this took a while. I was on vacation without enough time to sit down and write. I apologize. **

**Review because you'd let ANY of those Cullen men hold you in a headlock. In fact, in your review, tell me which Cullen you'd want holding you in a headlock. I'm curious (as always).**


	15. These Kids Are So Far Gone

**.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight? Not mine. This plot line and its messed up characters? Mine. Writing a kissing scene between Edward and Bella? Priceless.**

**A/N: WOO! We've hit over 1000 reviews! I love you all! We should make a plaque in honor of my awesome reviewers. **

**Anyway. On with the damn thing. **

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"Shh," Edward laughed against my lips, the both of us trying to keep our laughter down. I laughed quietly, smiling into a soft kiss as I ran my hands through his hair. I glanced down the dark alley, where Edward had me pressed against a wall. Again.

We'd been doing this for the past week. Not that I was complaining. The farthest thing from it, actually.

"Shit, I think I heard something," I whispered breathlessly to Edward, who was kissing down my neck.

"Mmm," Edward hummed in response, "Maybe it's because you're _talking so much_."

Huddling in dark corners, grabbing each other whenever we could during the day, making out with the thrill of being caught by any nosy student at any time, and going though the other basic motions of having a secret boy toy.

Okay. Not the _basic_ motions. But you get the idea.

Edward let out a low sigh, running his hands up and down my waist as he ducked his head. He leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes that familiar dark shade that made my heartbeat pick up.

"It's dark," he whispered, his voice low and thick, "And to them, we're just another couple making out. They won't bother us. Now will you just _relax_?"

While he was talking, he slowly kissed down my temple and cheekbone, making my eyelids flutter close. I let out a shaky sigh and blindly sought out his lips with my own lips. He nipped playfully at my lips, making me smile again and wrap both arms around his neck. He made a muffled noise of approval and grabbed my hips.

We were supposed to be having dinner at the café with Jasper, Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie. It was Alice's attempt at making amends between Emmett and Rosalie, who were still fighting. Of course, it failed miserably, so Edward and I high-tailed it out of there before things got ugly.

And I was beginning to be fond of the sounds of secrecy.

Edward's low breathing, the sound of shoes scuffling against each other as they stumbled closer, the sound of my lips pulling away from Edward's, our soft laughter, hushed voices, clothes rubbing against clothes, and the sound of our pulses blending into one big symphony.

Those were the only sounds I could hear these days. The sounds I repeated over and over in my mind whenever I was trying to pay attention in class or lying in my bed at night.

I brought my hands slowly from around his neck, sliding them from the backs of his shoulders to the front of his chest, where I grabbed the sides of his collar on his favorite white button down shirt. I'd already loosened his blue tie long ago, so grabbing his collar was easier. I latched onto here, leaning up on my tiptoes and angling my head to deepen the kiss.

Edward balanced me by sliding his hands from my hips and crossing them behind my back, holding me in a locked embrace.

Our breathing was getting heavier, his breath washing over my face and making me dizzy with want.

Slowly, I slid my hands from his collar and slipped them under his shirt, where I ran my hands over the bare skin on his chest and collar bone. Edward set my down on my feet and pushed me harder into the wall, kissing me harder as my hands explored his chest. He shivered and let out a shaky sigh.

"God, Bella, you're killing me here," he whispered as he kissed under my jaw and trailed kisses towards the spot right under my ear.

"I think," I whispered breathlessly, "We should skip the Halloween Festival tomorrow and just do this all night."

Edward's breath came out in a woosh and he put his forehead against mine.

"Bella," he groaned softly, squeezing his eyes shut, "Don't tempt me like that when we both know we've got to be there tomorrow."

"Rosalie and Emmett can make up on their own," I whispered, rubbing my hands over his chest and making him shiver again.

"Liar."

"Edward," I breathed.

"Bella," Edward groaned again, leaning his head back and squeezing his eyes shut again.

"The festival will be a flop anyway."

"Don't you have a duty as the third Power Puff Girl?"

"Well, I'll be wearing a short skirt-"

"See? All the more reason to go."

"-and Tyler will be there."

Edward froze. He brought his head back forwards, his eyes dark. I took that time he was glaring to notice how attractive he looked with his hair all messy, his tie loose, and his white button down shirt wrinkled. I needed to get him to look like this more often.

"He might ask me to go in the haunted house with him," I said, trying not to laugh at Edward's adorably livid face, "And I'll be in that short, short-"

"I'll rip his head off."

I laughed softly, massaging the back of Edward's neck with my hands.

If there was one thing I knew for sure about the relationship I had forming with Edward, it was that the relationship was exclusive. I didn't mind that one bit. As easygoing and carefree and exhilarating our little budding relationship could be, we made sure we weren't going around fooling around with anyone else. It was just an unspoken sort of thing.

Okay, well, maybe it was so unspoken with Edward and his voiced opinions, but the idea remained.

Another thing was that Edward and I kept our relationship under wraps. In all honesty, it was the only way to keep a relationship in tact in this school. If no one knew about it a relationship you had, then the relationship had a bigger chance of surviving than if everyone knew about it. That's the way private, boarding schools worked. It wasn't that we were ashamed or that we feared we couldn't handle the gossip, it was that we wanted to be with each other and didn't _want_ to deal with the gossip.

Could you blame us?

I kissed Edward softly, laughing again.

"I'm only kidding, Edward," I soothed against his lips, "You know you're much prettier than Tyler, anyway."

Edward bit down on my lip playfully in response and I laughed again. I put my hand on the side of his face, running my thumb against his cheek as he melted into my hand with a sigh.

It was in moments like this that I feared something bigger was boiling beneath our simple symphony of sounds. But maybe it was just the flame of teenage romance.

"Which Power Puff are you going as?" he asked, playing with the fabric of my shirt by my hips.

"Buttercup."

"Wasn't she the bitchy one?"

"She was the _tough one_, yes," I huffed as Edward gave me a sideways crooked smile.

"Which one is Rosalie?"

"Blossom."

"So Alice is Bubbles?"

"Yes….Edward….do you watch the Power Puff Girls?"

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"I don't wanna go!" I whined planting my feet as I took in my reflection. Tight green dress that reached mid-thigh, white knee socks that reached above my knee, black belt around my middle, and black Converses. There was no way I was wearing heels. Alice and Rosalie agreed. It would be a little too much.

Alice straightened my hair and did my makeup, but I had a strange sense of déjà vu when I looked in the mirror. Didn't we _just_ go to one of these stupid socializing events last week?

"Too damn bad," Alice said, glossing over her lips with lip gloss, "We can't be the Power Puff Girls without you. Because without you, we're just two hookers."

Alice was wearing a blonde wig with pig tails on the left and right sides of her head, like Bubbles used to wear it. From the neck down, she was dressed just like me, except wearing blue instead of green.

"We already _look_ like hookers," I huffed, "And why would the school put two social events so close to each other?"

"Uh…because some people like having fun?" Alice said, "I know you hate people, Bella, but you ended up having _tons_ of fun at the dance, remember?"

I flushed and Alice smirked, walking up to stand next to me in the mirror. She reached up to push some bangs away from my face and smiled at me.

"Besides," she sighed, "The boys are going to be there."

'The boys'. It's what Alice has taken to calling Emmett, Edward, and Jasper as a group.

"One boy is smitten with you, another is confusing me, and the last one is hurting Rosalie," Alice said, dropping her voice because Rosalie was in the bathroom, "Three different reasons to talk to them."

I sighed in response. I knew she was right. But my reflex reaction to seeing a hooker is to throw up.

That's why looking in the mirror was so hard.

"Bella," Alice said, sensing my discomfort, "On Halloween, _everyone_ dresses like a slut. It's like our excuse."

"Is Bella getting all whiny again?" Rosalie said, coming out of the bathroom and adjusting the huge pink bow on the back of her head. She had straightened her hair, too, except she looked much prettier. Her eyes looked like they were sparkling, but her expression said one thing only.

Payback.

I playfully let out a low whistle.

"Planning on breaking some hearts tonight?" I laughed as Rosalie smirked.

"His heart," Rosalie said, shrugging, "His balls. What's the difference, really, when it comes to Emmett?"

She grinned slyly at the two of us as we laughed. Like Alice and I, she looked the same from the neck down, except wearing pink instead of green or blue. She stood by Alice's other side in the full-sized mirror we were standing in front of. The three of us stood there silently, all calculating the night in our minds.

Alice hooked arms with us and a brief moment of doubt flashed across Rosalie's face.

"Listen," Alice said, "Tonight, we don't let anyone get to us. No boys, no girls, no embarrassing moments, no nothing."

Rosalie looked down at her shoes.

"I'm getting kind of sick of this drama, aren't you?" Alice sighed, "And for one night, I just want us to have fun."

Rosalie nodded, taking a deep breath. I knew the speech was mostly directed at Rosalie. Rosalie looked at herself in the mirror, nodded again, and then smiled brightly at Alice and me.

"Let's go," Rosalie said.

I had no doubt we could pull this off. Hello, we're the frickin' Power Puff Girls.

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**EPOV**

I chewed on the paintbrush I had dangling out of my mouth, my arms crossed over my chest. I was scanning the crowd for Bella, waiting to put our plan into action. Jasper was looking at me with disgust.

"Dude," he said, "That is _not_ how I hold a paintbrush. Have a little respect, man."

I turned to Jasper and brushed the side of his face with the brush part of the paintbrush that was hanging out. He slapped my arm and grimaced.

"Slut," he mumbled with a laugh. I grinned.

Jasper, Emmett, and I had decided to go to this Halloween Festival as each other. I was dressed as Jasper, Jasper was dressed as Emmett, and Emmett was dressed as me.

I was wearing one of Jasper's grey button down shirts that was splattered with paint. I had almost all the buttons undone, making fun of the fact that Jasper dressed like a gay man-whore, and the sleeves rolled. I had a blonde wig on, which I also splattered with paint, hole-y jeans, a loose red tie around my neck, and paintbrushes in the back-pocket of my jeans. Emmett put eyeliner on me, or tried to, at least, and I stole some of Alice's blue mascara to put on my eyes. I kind of looked like a clown or some kind of gay hobo, and Emmett and I laughed for a good ten minutes at my reflection.

Jasper was not so amused with the makeup, but he was a good sport.

I also had a name tag that had the customary 'Hi My Name Is'. I wrote 'whore' underneath, but crossed it out with one black line so it was still visible, and then wrote 'Jasper'.

Jasper was dressed like Emmett, and had Emmett's soccer jersey on. He also had the mesh soccer shorts on, but rolled them up so high that they barely went down mid-thigh. If he had rolled it once more, they would have passed off as briefs. He was wearing a brown, curly wig. He had sweatbands of every color up one arm (in rainbow order) and a football helmet on his head. He put pink war paint in two stripes underneath his eyes. He looked just as ridiculous and exaggerated as I did, but Emmett almost had a hissy fit about the short lengths.

Jasper had a similar name tag to mine, with 'douche' written underneath, crossed out, and then 'Emmett'.

Emmett got his laughs, though, because he was dressed as me. He had a pink polo on, buttoned up all the way to his neck, and he tucked it in to some white briefs that were pulled above the belt of his pants. He was wearing too-small khakis that reach mid-calf and revealed white tube socks pulled way above the ankle. He was wearing a redish-brown colored wig with hair that was swept over one side of his face, covering up an eye. He even stole the reading glasses I had from freshman year that I hardly wore anymore and no longer fit my face. He rubbed some black eye-shadow under his eyes to make him look like he was really tired, and had a notebook tucked under his arm.

He too had a name tag, with 'nerd' written underneath, crossed out, then 'loser' written underneath, crossed out, and finally 'Edward'.

We had gotten a laughs walking out of our dorm, but now we were at the festival that was on campus and Bella was nowhere to be seen.

The festival consisted of inflatable rides, booths where you could win creepy dolls or plastic spider rings, a haunted house made by the seniors in the building with the Bio labs, and a DJ station that was blasting loud Halloween music as well as loud rock music.

Finally, I saw Bella walking over to us. Emmett, Jasper and I were standing by the inflatable spider slide, which Tyler had slid down way too many times to count. Bella was with Alice and Rosalie, and boy were they something to see. I felt my mouth dropping when I saw Bella, so I snapped it shut and let my eyes widen instead. Then once they did widen, they couldn't tear off Bella.

Knee socks.

Damnit, damnit, damnit.

Fucking knee socks.

I shifted uncomfortably, looking over at Emmett. Emmett's face had gone blank with emotion once I looked over at him, and he looked away from the girls. But I know he saw Rosalie. And I know he's probably kicking himself right now. He straightened up and murmured something about getting a caramel apple.

Bella hadn't seen us yet, but I saw her craning her neck and looking around. Jasper was struck speechless, his mouth _wide_ open and his helmet slipping over his eyes. Okay, so I guess I would have to be the one to call them over.

"Bella!" I called out, cursing myself for having my voice be so shaky, "Over here!"

She looked up and saw me, her face brightened. And now I was kicking myself because I didn't take her up on her offer to skip the damn festival.

God.

Knee socks.

**BPOV**

Oh lord. What on earth were they wearing? I felt myself smiling, Alice breaking into a fit of giggles. Rosalie snorted, and I sensed that she was looking for Emmett, who was not standing beside Edward and Jasper.

Edward looked ridiculous…..I like the shirt though….

I felt myself looking at the bare chest I was running my hands over not less than a day ago. And then, once my ogling simmered down, I wondered _why_ he was wearing his shirt open. And what's with the blond wig…and splattered-

Ohhhh. He was _Jasper_.

Very clever.

We finally got over to them and I got a good look at them. The name tags were funny.

"Hi," I laughed as Edward grinned.

"Nice hair," I remarked.

"Nice legs," he quipped back automatically. I blushed.

"Wait, who's dressed up as you?" Alice asked, pointing a finger at Edward.

"Emmett is," Jasper said, his eyes unabashedly looking at Alice's figure. That boy was so far gone.

"Where is he?" I asked, looking at Edward. We better not have spent half an hour of scheming for nothing.

"He went to get a caramel apple," Edward responded, his eyes flickering over to Rosalie. And suddenly everyone's eyes flickered over to Rosalie, who was casually picking at her nails.

"Oooh!" Alice said, jumping up and down and startling poor Jasper, "Can you win us some stuffed dolls?"

"Alice, we can win those on our own," Rosalie said sourly, grabbing Alice's hand and dragging her towards one of the booths. Alice protested, looking back longingly at Jasper.

"She's still sore, huh?" Jasper sighed, looking at me once the two girls were out of earshot. I nodded. He sighed. Then he took in my appearance.

"Which one are you supposed to be?" he asked with a smirk.

"Buttercup," I responded, "The one with her underwear riding up her ass."

"Is it really?" Jasper laughed.

"This skirt is short," I grumbled. Edward grinned a lazy crooked smile at me and a shifted on my feet.

"Why didn't Bubbles and Blossom take you with them?" Jasper asked, confused as he looked at Rosalie playing Whack-A-Ghoul.

I shifted and blushed again. God, so much blushing tonight! Stop getting so flustered, Bella.

I glanced over sneakily at Edward and Jasper got the idea.

"I got it, I got it," Jasper sighed, standing, "Alone time with the secret lover. Though how you take him seriously in that wig…"

He trailed off when Edward smacked him on the back of his helmet.

"I'll leave you two to procreate on your own," Jasper said, saluting us as he marched off to Alice, where he pinched her hips from behind. Alice yelped and turned around, melting into Jasper's arms.

"Okay, so where is Emmett?" I asked, turning to Edward.

"Hello to you too."

"I already said hi," I scoffed, ignoring his charm, "We have to get Rosalie into that haunted house _early_ tonight, or else she'll have a breakdown."

"A breakdown?"

"She's very unstable these days."

Edward looked off to where she was standing, his eyes narrowing as he calculated.

"Emmett left when he saw her," he admitted at last with a sigh.

"Oh great."

"But not before his jaw dropped to the floor."

"Really?"

"He is a teenage male, after all," Edward said, rolling his eyes, "Which reminds me…"

"What?"

"You know you're killing me with that outfit you've got on, right?"

He stepped closer to me. I snatched the paintbrush he had dangling in his mouth.

"Focus, Romeo," I warned as he stepped even closer, prodding him with the paintbrush.

"We can find an abandoned classroom…"

"Hey, I gave you your chance to skip out, but _you_ were too righteous."

"I _really_ like those socks you have on…"

"Edward," I said, pushing him back with the paintbrush very much against my better judgment and inner voice that was screaming at me to kiss him.

"Bella."

"Find Emmett," I said, breathing out a sigh as Edward gave me a smug look. He knew he got me flustered.

"And then?"

"Bring him to the haunted house. I'll take care of Rosalie."

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Rosalie had her arm hooked with mine, reeling off about how Alice abandoned her to go necking with Jasper. I pretended to be interested, my eyes scanning around for any sign from Edward that Emmett was in the haunted house and that the plan was ready to be set into action. I waited for my phone to buzz with a text.

Nothing.

"I mean, what is it with these boys?" Rosalie scoffed, "Did Edward leave you too?"

"Technically, _you_ stole me from him," I said half-heartedly.

"I tell you, Bella, these boys are only after one thing," she said, ignoring me, "What were we thinking dressing like this? We should have worn paper bags. Or stayed inside."

"Do you want to go to the haunted house?"

"Boys are only good for one thing. Money and compliments. Everything else they give me damns me to hell."

"Yeah. Don't I know it," I said with a sigh, giving up and deciding to use empathy because having an actual conversation was pointless when she was like this.

As I looked around at the couples enjoying the Halloween Festival, I almost wished I _was_ enjoying it. Instead of setting up Rosalie and Emmett who were both stubborn asses. They knew they were good for each other. They just didn't want to be the ones who caved first. I mean, really, what was this? High school?

Okay, maybe it's too early for that joke.

I let out another sigh as Rosalie blah-blah-blahed in my ear. My underwear was still riding up and the skirt of my dress was sticking to my thighs. This was not fun. Nope. This was duty. To a thick skulled couple-to-be that needed to be together before I saw Rosalie crack before my eyes.

Yesterday, when she was putting on her favorite heels, she _grimaced_. I know it sounds harsh, but Rosalie just does not grimace at uncomfortable shoes. She just doesn't. I'm not saying it's bad to grimace at death trap shoes because I sure as hell do it, it just wasn't a Rosalie thing to do.

And I got angry thinking about why we let boys get to us like this. We say _every single time_ that we won't let them get to us again. But they do. Always. Unless we throw our hearts out. And as many times as we try to guard ourselves and get _close_ to throwing our hearts out, we just can't. I'm not sure if I know firsthand what it's like to be truly heartbroken, and I'm not sure I want to find out, but I know Rosalie was there.

Right there. Where you don't want to wake up each morning and you have to pretend that you're okay when really all you want is to drown yourself in food and camp out inside someplace dark and lonely.

We've all been there. More or less. Not necessarily because a boy put us there.

Most of the time, it's actually because _we _put ourselves there, whether we own up to it or not.

And watching Rosalie crumble before my eyes, I had a feeling it was a 'not'.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Rosalie said, glancing at me cautiously, "Do I have something on my face?"

"Nothing," I said, looking away with a sad sigh and a resolve forming in my mind, "Do want some cotton candy?"

"Bella, if I start eating cotton candy, I won't want to stop."

I raised my eyebrows at her. A slow smile spread on her face.

"Okay, let's do it."

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Somehow, we ended up with cotton candy melting around our lips and our backs against the booth that gives you gummy vampire teeth candy. We were laughing now, our stomachs full and our blood rushing with sugar and freedom. Well, a thin and short-lasting sort of freedom, at least.

"Oh God," Rosalie said as her stomach grumbled and I laughed, "I'm going to be so _fat_ tomorrow."

"Shut up," I replied, "You're gorgeous. No layer of fat could ever change that."

"I beg to differ."

People walked by in scary costumes, turning their heads to us. Rosalie waved at them with her sticky, cotton-candy fingers and her red-stained teeth.

"Hey, so do you want to go to the haunted house now?" Rosalie asked, "I'm sure Alice is already there."

I still hadn't gotten any sort of signal from Edward. I figured the plan was a bust. Maybe Emmett ran away again. Or found another girl to drown his sorrows in. I sighed out loud.

These kids were so far gone. Hell, we all were. Far down into that pit where hormones and stress and growing up and teenage love try to spin and rip and eat you alive. And you know what? I was highly doubting any of us would make it out unscathed.

"Sure," I said, "But I think I've got cotton candy stuck to my butt."

"That's okay. We've got it all over our faces too."

We helped each other up, Rosalie leaning on me as we stumbled on legs weak from the sugar ups and downs. We shared the last of our last cotton candy stick, gabbing about how strange some people's costumes were and how stupid Emmett was. The sky was getting darker overhead, but you couldn't really tell unless you've been watching it like we have. It was more orange now, Rosalie pointed out, and it almost matched the fading orange ribbons that fell off the booths and were smashed into the grass.

It was getting stranger out too, but you couldn't really tell unless you've been waiting for it like I have.

We saw the haunted house, two seniors dressed as Grim Reapers standing outside with plastic spears. You couldn't see their faces because the hoods they were wearing had a black piece of fabric covering their faces. I waited to see if Edward was around. There was no sign of him, Emmett, Jasper, or Alice.

Great.

Rosalie was telling me how she went to the haunted house Burnswick had last year and how it was a total flop with white-sheet ghosts and everything. As she was telling me this, I heard someone call my name.

I turned around to see a wolf-man jogging towards me. He raised his paws and removed his furry mask, revealing himself. He smiled awkwardly at me and swiped his lips with the back of his hand in a sort of nervous habit.

"Hi," he said.

"Jacob," I said with a nod. Though Jacob and I weren't exactly on the best of terms quite yet, Jimmy and I were trying this be-nice-to-each-other's-friends thing. So I was taking civility for a test drive. I even smiled….sort of.

"Where's Jimmy?" I asked. Maybe Jimmy would save me.

"In the haunted house," Jacob said, "He's helping the senior in charge of DJ-ing the creepy music."

"Oh," I said, spewing off curses in my mind.

"Um…can I talk to you for a sec?" he asked, his eyes furtively glancing at Rosalie as if asking her to leave. I glared at him. But Rosalie got the idea anyway, even though it was _not_ the time to be a good sport.

"I'll meet you inside, Bella," Rosalie said, patting my arm and glancing back at Jacob.

NO! Don't leave me!

"Wait-" I said, but she just smiled at me, took one more look at Jacob, and then made her way through the doors. The Grim Reapers gestured inside the doors as she walked through, but she just snorted at their actions.

"So," Jacob said. My eyes were still watching Rosalie go, along with the rest of the plan. Ugh. Jacob, you stupid mother fu-

"Which Power Puff girl are you?" he asked. I finally turned to look at him.

"Buttercup," I replied, "And you're some kind of wolf man?"

"Werewolf."

"Ah. I see."

Awkward silence.

I looked at my feet. He cleared his throat.

"So you and Jimmy are friends again?" he asked. I clenched and unclenched my fists. This was none of his business. In fact, if he wanted to talk to me, he should be asking if _we_ were friends. Our friendship did not depend on the friendship between Jimmy and me.

"We share blood," I said. Jacob cleared his throat again, cleverly sensing my anger.

"Well, that's good. I'm glad. Happy for you two."

I waited again. Then, when I couldn't wait anymore, I huffed and crossed my arms.

"What do you want, Jacob?" I asked, "Why do you really need to talk to me?"

Jacob flashed his eyes up to mine, clenching his jaw.

"You and Jimmy are such good friends," he said, rubbing one of his paws, "And I just…wanted to clear the air with us. Start fresh. Without all this…stuff in the way."

"What stuff? My stuff? Or your stuff?"

"Both…of our stuff."

"Why?"

"Because…because I _want_ to be your friend, Bella. And not only because you're Jimmy's friend. It's just, I hear him say all these hilarious things you've done and things you've said and…"

He huffed, looking away and trying to find the words.

"I just want to get to know you better," he said, looking into my eyes and stepping closer to me, "You seem like such a cool girl."

We had a stare down for a moment. Me trying to see if he was being truthful, and him trying to prove that he was truthful. Then after the moment started to sizzle with quiet tension, I swallowed audibly at the intensity in his eyes. So sincere…and raw…it almost made me stumble backwards.

"Jacob-"

"Hey, Jacob," a scary-calm, velvet voice called out. I looked behind me to see Edward walking towards me, his face collected but his eyes on fire. Yeah…remember that thing about Edward being exclusive and protective?

Heh. Well.

Maybe Jacob had stepped _just_ a bit too close to me for Edward's comfort…

God. This always happens when I wear a skirt. Maybe wearing a paper bag, like Rosalie suggested, would help keep this caveman attitude to a minimum.

"Edward," Jacob responded, his smile tight, "Nice costume."

"You too. Having a good time?"

"Yeah. About to go in the haunted house, here, with Bella."

What? We were?!

"Cool, cool," Edward responded, his eyes flickering to mine. I tried to convey what a smelly, stupid, conniving liar Jacob was being, but I couldn't tell if he got the message.

"Do you mind if I just…uh…borrow her for a sec?" Edward asked, his smile faltering.

"Sure thing," Jacob responded.

I shuffled towards Edward, out of Jacob's earshot.

"What is he doing here?" Edward whispered fiercely at me. Oh God, Edward, now was not the time for one of your rash actions. Leave that kind of thinking for when we're alone and, preferably, pressed against some alley wall.

"I don't even know. Trying to gain my friendship or whatever," I said, waving it off with my hand, "Where's Emmett?"

"Friendship? Like hell," Edward grumbled, glaring over at Jacob, who had his eyes on the sky, "That stupid son of a-"

"Edward," I snapped, "Where's Emmett?"

"I don't know," Edward said, his eyes glued on Jacob, "I've been looking for him since Rosalie grabbed you from me."

"You don't _know_?"

"Where's Rosalie?"

"Inside. She left when Jacob started talking to me."

"Shit."

"Yeah. Plan's busted."

Oh, that plan. That lovely plan. To bring Emmett and Rosalie together into the haunted house so they could solve their differences. Granted, it was farfetched, but it was a beautiful plan. One that involved me never seeing Rosalie so broken ever again. It almost made me cry, seeing that plan go. Okay, no it didn't. But I was pretty damn upset.

Edward sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

"Whatever," he said, "There's always tomorrow."

"I guess."

"Wanna go to the haunted house anyway?"

"Sure, let's go."

"Great. Now how do we get rid of the dog?"

"He's supposed to be a werewolf, Edward."

"With those blunt paws? I don't think so."

I rolled my eyes and turned to Jacob. Jacob grinned slowly, mischief in his eyes. I swallowed again, wishing I could latch my arms around Edward's neck and hide in there.

"Shall we?" Jacob asked, gesturing towards the doors to the haunted house.

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The halls were dark. There was blood splattered against the lockers and spider-webs hanging from the open doors. Out of one of the doors was a pair of legs, wearing jeans and sneakers that were also blood splattered. There was a low tinkling from a harpsichord in the background, a soft girlish voice singing a haunting melody.

If I wasn't already so high-strung, this might not have been so bad.

But, as I was already a blubbering mess, I was gripping onto Edward's arm. I kept telling myself that it was just the stupid seniors, and that if anyone tried to scare me, I could always punch them in the face. And that was making me feel a lot better, actually.

"Where's Rosalie?" Edward asked in a whisper, his lips near my ear. Jacob was treading beside me and he glanced over when he heard Edward talking. His eyes passed briefly over the death-lock I had on Edward's arm.

"I don't know," I whispered back, "She said she'd see me in here…"

We followed the painted arrows on the floor that led us through the building. We were barely talking, but maybe for different reasons. Personally, I wasn't talking because I was about to pee my pants. I could feel Edward breathing, and he slipped his arm around so that his hand was against the small of my back. I melted into his touch, breathing a contented sigh.

Then suddenly, a blood curdling scream tore through the silence of the haunted house and the music shut off abruptly. The same voice tore through the hallway again.

"GET. OFF. ME!"

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**Okay, I'm mean, I know. For any of you Maria readers, you already know my tendency for cliff-hanging. And yes, I am cruel.**

**Decided to split up the Halloween Festival into two different chapters. Next chapter is part 2.**

**So I got mostly Jaspers for the whole headlock thing. Some Emmetts and a surprising less of Edwards (probably because we'd all rather have Edward holding us in a LIPLOCK), and quite a bit of "any one of the Cullens, hell, I ain't picky". I loved all your reasoning and arguments for your choice of headlock-giver. **

**New question: which Twilight character would you dress up as for Halloween?**

**Excited to hear your answers, as always. Oh, and tell me your thoughts on Jacob's new advances. **


End file.
